Please read and critic my poem! It's for a school project.?

Question

A tear drop falls,
From a new widow's eyes,
As she trys to figure out,
How she's going to live without her husband.
She can't give up, Because to her little girl,
She's now Mommy and Daddy.

As her husband fought for his life,
He thought about how they would survive,
If he were to die.
So he wrote them both letters,
Of what he thought the end might be like.

To his baby girl he wrote,
"When I die I'll go to hevean,
and over you.
The only pain I'll feel is missing you,
So please don't cry,
Just know Daddy's going to a wonderful place,
Where he'll get to meet Jesus,
Face to face.
I'll see you again someday,
But until then I'll think of you everyday."

To his wife he wrote something entirely different,
"When I die where will I go?
I seem to have lost my faith in heaven and God,
Because he's taking me away from you.
Will he be there to meet me at those pearly gates,
Or will I just wait n endless space?
My belief in God has always been storng,
But what if I've been wrong?"

Though he did not it then,
He wrote those letters in that way,
He son figured out why his mind had worked in the manner.

If he had told his little girl of his fears of death,
She might lose her faith in Him,
And might start to fear her own end.
He told his wife of them however,
Because he knew she knew God is forever.

As this new-found widow,
Read her letter,
She found her faith was stronger than ever.
She knew that God would lead her,
Through the toughest times without him,
Because her husbands last words to her were,
"I see the light that evryone speaks of,
But in my light there's something special.
God's hand is here to take me home,
Because it the end of my life here on earth,
But the beginning of the one that we will share together,
When you join me in the land of forever."

Answer 1

hi, this is such a beautiful poem just be careful with some words: hevean, storng, etc. (3rd. and 4th. paragraph).

before publishing put this on a new document of word and activate the "check spelling". Besides that I think its perfect!

Answer 2

I might be old-fashioned...

1. What meter are you trying to use? I mean, I'm trying to find a rhyme or reason in the number of syllables, but I can't find any.

2. Check for spelling and punctuation errors. BTW, it's "critique".

3. Don't confuse being "sad" with being "profound." Your poem is sad, but there is nothing in it that seems profound. The phrases seem to be rhetoric that people say at the time of a death when they don't know what else to say. There is nothing here to indicate the ambiguity that comes with grief. In fact, I'm trying to figure out if you've ever been through this before -- if you have, I'm betting that that you've got deeper (and more honest) emotions than this.

Answer 3

Very well done. I hope your original doesnt have the typo's in it. Did you miss a word when typing this by chance?

"Though he did not it then," should there not be a "know" in there?

Minor detail. Its a very good poem.

Answer 4

i loved it,thats a heavy poem'lots of feeling come thru,,,i think you did a good job and i give you 10 thumbs up,,,keep up the good work,,

Answer 5

IF YOU DON'T GET AN "A+" ON YOUR SCHOOL REPORT SOMETHINGS BAD WRONG, BECAUSE THAT POEM IS VERY TOUCHING EVERYONE SHOULD READ THAT

Answer 6

It Is To Sad.

Answer 7

personally.. i think poems should ryme.... but other than that its good

Answer 8

Wow! i love it! its terrific!

Answer 9

i love it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! =] don't change, there is nothing wrong!