This guy 34, I have been dealing with for going on 4 years still no commitment but says he isnt having sex with anybody else. We have gone thru definate ups and downs but still we see each other, mainly on weekends to spend "quality time" or however.Since he wouldnt commit I started getting tired of our "relationship not going anywhere" even after I expressed my feelings to him. Just when Im conditioning myself to leave 34 alone...here I meet 35; spiritual, attentive and all that I wanted out of 34. I guess 34 starts to feel me distancing myself and I guess caught wind of my venturing, he then expresses his feeling toward me, I give in but later find out he did know something about 35; so now I question how genuine his actions which I was enjoying really where. I need to figure this one out I now am hurting 35 and 34 still kinda... well Im not sure... seems selfish. Please help with my dilema, I am a 28 year old single mother of a 4 year old boy.
2007-01-29 11:14:20 · 8 answers · asked by Humn'bird420 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
34 is not the father of my child. And they dont exactly know about each other. I was actually going to stop seeing 35 because of the history I have with 34. I asked both of them the exact same question last night. I asked " what is it that you like about me?" 34 wondered why the question,then got kinda upset because he doesnt understand why I should have to ask. 35 answered "your aura and energy are so sexy!!!" Thank you guys for your advice.
2007-01-30 05:01:15 · update #1
If 35 is all that you wanted, he sounds like the right one for you. Just a question, though... is 34 the father of your child? If so, you should give him every chance, as kids deserve to have their fathers around. Otherwise, if 35 gives you what you want, he sounds like the best choice.
Edit: Since #34 is not the father of your child, this makes the choice a little easier. It sounds like 35 is your guy. It won't be easy cutting off 34 after all that time but it sounds like that is what's best for you and your son.
Good luck... these choices are never easy to make.
2007-01-30 00:51:01 · answer #1 · answered by pvreditor 7 · 4⤊ 1⤋
I know its a difficult decision. I think that 34 probably thinks that you won't go anywhere (why after 4 yrs and he still gets his way???). Then he finds out that you have met someone who could possibly sweep you off your feet and figures he better say everything you want to hear.
I would send 34 on his way. It sounds as if 35 is more your type and gives you the attention you deserve.
I know its a hard decision. Its hard to make a change after 4 years. But, if you are doubting 34's "true" feelings then chances are they aren't real and its his way to try to hold on to you. I would give 35 a chance. He seems to be what you need.
Good luck!
2007-02-06 19:10:59 · answer #2 · answered by sweetie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow, you're in a REAL pickle here, and its not entirely your fault.
I'm thiking #35 is the way to go, since you said he's everything you want. #34 might be putting on a show.
One solution is to just ride things out, see how they go, but, if you're not dating either of them exlusively, then they have the right to not date you exlusively, and could easily find someone else, just before you decide you want to be with them.
There seems to be only one good solution to this, and it's not even a very good solution...make a pro-con list for each of them.
Everything you like about each one, itemized, side by side. Make it a mathematical problem, at least then you will come to a solution.
One other way to do it, is to flip a coin, it works for me when I don't know what MOVIE to watch first....If the coin lands heads, sometimes I realize how much I didn't want to watch the heads one first and pick tails, it forces me into a decision....
Also, if you wait it out and you choose a sensitive sweet guy like you hint # 35 is, then you're probably going to lose him if you string him along too long. He might lose the respect and trust he has for you, if he knows you're seeing both of them for too long.
Ha, as I'm answering this, I say go for #35. Sometimes girls can't resist a man who's not good for them, or a man they think will change just for them, and I think thats the appeal of #34. I think #35 will be a better father figure for your 4 year old son.
#35!
2007-01-30 08:49:23 · answer #3 · answered by badbadboy6979 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds to me like 35 would be the best for you. Honestly you have to ask yourself why you went looking elsewhere in the first place. Thats because 34 was not meeting your needs, and once he felt like you were pulling away, all of a sudden hes this caring guy. Stop , Think, Listen to not only your heart, but your head..
2007-02-06 14:54:20 · answer #4 · answered by donna_honeycutt47 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if 34 hasnt met your needs by now after 4 years chances its not going to happen.time to upgrade to 35.go have ur needs met and enjoy
2007-02-06 19:04:02 · answer #5 · answered by jo 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ok dump them both. 35 just said that he liked you because your aura and energy are so sexy. SEXY!!!! he didn't say your intelligence, how great of a mother you are nothing like that. since you are a mother you need to carefully comb through any guy you want to date or spend "quality time" with. and 34 just sounds like all you are is a booty call to him.you want a guy who will love you AND your son. not just want a late night piece. whatever you decide be careful and think it through. best of luck
2007-02-05 14:25:33 · answer #6 · answered by ber-ber21 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
34 seems to be keeping you hanging on because you lead him on bye sticking around with him, just break it off if your not happy. end the drama, and move on...
to 35.
2007-02-06 14:41:26 · answer #7 · answered by katana b 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
get rid of 34 period you have outgrown him
2007-02-05 21:54:32 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋