I see alot of husbands that are very supportive of their wives and they have a vasectomy but my husband thinks that he shouldn't have to be the one to do it. How do I convince him?
2007-01-29 11:13:03 · 27 answers · asked by I smile because of them ♥ 5 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
Tell him that he doesn't touch you until he has it done. And don't let him. You have the babies. Unless you're having a c-section after the birth of your last child, why should you have to go though a surgury after giving birth?
2007-01-29 11:18:10 · answer #1 · answered by Gabby_Gabby_Purrsalot 7 · 6⤊ 8⤋
I have been struggling with my husband to do the same thing for months!! I have a million reasons why he should, he has a million reasons why he shouldn't. My biggest reasons are we have 2 beautiful children, 1 boy and 1 girl, we can't afford another baby, I don't want to be slave to a pill or any other hormonal medication being a woman makes me hormonal enough, and finally, a vasectomy is a far less invasive procedure than having my tubes tied. His reasons weren't so much "his reasons" as his mom's reasons. They were basically what if something happened to me (death, divorce) and he remarried and wanted more children with his new wife, what if something happened to one of our children, and the most uninformed, it's irreversible. I don't know what finally set him to my way of thinking maybe it was my anger over his unwillingness to do a simple outpatient procedure or maybe it was just talking to other men that had it done (a deep fear of pain?). It was just endless discussion since the birth of our daughter. He comes home from Iraq in a few months and will be having the procedure soon after. Good luck to you and don't give up!!!!
2007-01-29 19:27:17 · answer #2 · answered by NCMOMMAAC 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You can't convince him...it's his body. Does he want more children? or is he concerned about preserving his fertility in case you divorce and he remarries? Or is it just that he doesn't want to go through the procedure? There are lots of reasons he might not want one, and the reason he shares with you may not be the main one. He might be afraid that you'd decide you wanted more children after he'd had it done, and then he wouldn't be able to provide them.
On the other hand, getting your tubes tied isn't great either. The actual procedure isn't that big of a deal, but it isn't 100% effective (sometimes they grow back). Sometimes the blood vessels to the ovary are damaged and then you end up with hormone problems. Lots of women complain about problems after having their tubes tied (look up post tubal ligation syndrome).
If you're looking for a long-term method of birth control, maybe you should consider an IUD. They're good for five years or more and you don't have to think about them while they're in place.
2007-01-29 19:23:26 · answer #3 · answered by Judi 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Vasectomy isn't 100% anyway, especially the longer he has had it done. The Vas Deferins can easily grow back together again over some years. I am not putting my husband through that. I'm just getting the Mirena IUD. It helps manage periods too which is a double duty for me :) If the argument is between a tubal and a vasectomy then a vasectomy is definitly the safer route to go... but if he doesn't want to do it, then you can't make him. Not like he'd ever make you go get your boobs done or something to augment your body if you wouldn't want it. There are alternatives, you guys will vigure it out.
2007-01-29 19:20:39 · answer #4 · answered by Gig 5 · 0⤊ 3⤋
Well, tell him it's that or more kids...I mean for you to have your tubes tied is more invasive and the recovery is a little longer. Tell him only real men get a vasectomy and he is being a baby lol. I donno. I know with my husband I've made it clear that if we are done having kids he needs to have a vasectomy because I refuse to use birth control (problems with it in the past) and I'm not going to go in have my tubes tied because it's a hospital thing where as a vas. can be done in the office and well blah blah blah I'm sure you know. Hope you have luck with that.
2007-01-29 19:17:27 · answer #5 · answered by ktpb 4 · 4⤊ 1⤋
Dont convince him.. just grab some scissors while he is sleeping and do it yourself. Just Kidding. I would get all of the info on him gettng a vastectomy and you having your tubes tied. Talk to him about the different options and explain what a simple surgery it is for him vs. you having real surgery to get your tubes tied. You could even go to a dr for a consultation if he is comfortable enough to at least explore the option. If he is very against it just remember it is his body. You would not want him to force you to get your tubes tied. Continue to support eachother no matter the decesion. If all else fails resort back to the scissor idea.. good luck
2007-01-29 19:19:31 · answer #6 · answered by ? 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I don't think its fair for either spouse to expect the other to get sterilized.
That's a decision the person who will be sterilized needs to reach on his/her own and be very, very, certain about. If you don't want children ever, ever, again you may want to consider getting a tubal ligation while leaving your husband's reproductive status the way he wants it. Also, the world is full of people who did not want more children and made sure they didn't have them without getting a sterilization procedure.
It is not a measure of how "supportive" of you he is. A person's choice to have such a procedure is something very personal, and each person has a right to retain his fertility if he wants to (for whatever reasons, even if those reasons are just objecting to the procedure itself).
2007-01-29 19:22:55 · answer #7 · answered by WhiteLilac1 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Tell him that if he does not get a vasectomy, that you will get your tubes tied. Also mention that if you get your tubes tied, that he will not know whether you are fooling around or not. However, if he gets a vasectomy, then YOU will be the one at the disadvantage.
2007-01-29 19:24:00 · answer #8 · answered by plezurgui 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some guys think it might mess them up sexually as far is performance is concerned.
My X went through it w/o pain/problems and no; you can't tell the difference in bed. (neither of you). Sperm takes up a very tiny part of ejaculate and from his reporting nothing changed with
sensation.
And I'm not sure of your ages but he may be thinking he might want to father more kids at some point.
2007-01-29 19:27:07 · answer #9 · answered by tharnpfeffa 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Look up some information about it on the Internet. Show him that's it an easier and faster procedure (also safer) then you having your tubes tied. I did that for my husband and he know understands it better and is willing to go foward with it.
2007-01-29 19:24:17 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
first of all never bring up ideas of infidelety you want him to get it done so you cant have kids not so he cant get others pregnant. i was a little hesitant about getting mine but it was something that had to be done. my wife has given me two wonderful daughters but the last one almost killed her. she was told by a doctor that anymore pregnancies could kill her and the baby so in order to save trauma to her body other than the birth i got snipped. any man who thinks it the womans job to get fixed is a neanderthal. my wife had enough going on to her body. heck the whole procedure was just to little stitches and back to work the next day
2007-01-29 19:36:49 · answer #11 · answered by michael p 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋