My son is 20, and his 18 year old wife left him for his (ex) best friend. They have a 2 1/2 year old. They have been sharing time with him, 50/50. She has been refusing to even discuss things with him, and he is so upset, thinks everythings his fault (which it isn't!), I don't know what to do to help him. Got some good advice last night, but new situation today. They saw each other, he tried to talk to her, she wouldn't listen, he got upset, slapped her face. I know and he knows that wasn't right. He was immediately sorry. Apologized, everything. She called 911, reported him, then went to station to file report - for a slap to the face - there are 2 witnesses that that is all that happened. He has a court date in 3 weeks.
I know he should not have touched her, but how much damage will this do? His son is the only thing keeping him going right now. Can he lose having time with his son over this?
They were married less than a year - how can someone care so little for a person-help
2007-01-29 10:39:49 · 9 answers · asked by Sharon 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
It won't keep him from seeing his son, however, she could insist that he attend anger management classes....and express a concern for her son. It depends on how much she wants to make of it.
2007-01-29 10:44:41 · answer #1 · answered by a_lot_smarter_now 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Whether she filed domestic violence or assault charges against him hes in some serious trouble. Unless he comes up with one hellof a good excuse or shows he self enrolled into a rehab center to control his behavior (which an atty can plea bargain this down to) he could face jail time and lose his visitation rights for some time. He would have been better off punching the guy instead of hitting a female. Try getting the best atty you can afford for this and prepare him to do whatever it takes to keep him out of jail. Domestic violence stays around for a very long time and can ruin many future opportunities as many people frown on people with domestic violence charges. Very serious situation here. Sorry I couldnt give you better advice but the law is what it is.
2007-01-29 18:55:30 · answer #2 · answered by Arthur W 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds to me like his wife needs to grow up quite a bit and that your son needs to get control of his temper. Unfortunately in this situation his wife has the upper hand and is apparently going to use it against him. I would say get your son a good attorney and go at his wife with guns blazing so to speak. If she wants to play dirty pool then return the favor. It is sad that their child is caught up in all of this mess, but luckily the child is young enough that this won't have much of an effect on him/her. Maybe you could get together with her parents and see if getting them involved in the whole process will help. By the way, your son could possibly be facing jail time and a serious fine for assaulting his wife. If she deliberately provoked him into doing something like this then you might ask the judge if you could speak on behalf of your son and maybe the judge will even be kind enough to let you explain some of the stuff that has been happening between your son and his wife. Good Luck
2007-01-29 18:56:12 · answer #3 · answered by truckerman96 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Am sorry to hear about the situation. Your son will go to court and only the judge will decide what happens. If he has not been charged with the same offense before I doubt is likely he will lose his rights to see his son. He may be ordered to have visitation with supervision only. If legal proceedings have not been filed or taken place yet am sure both will be legally counseled. Good luck.
2007-01-29 18:52:22 · answer #4 · answered by bountyhunter101 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
More then likely he going to get spouse abuse. In that could show the courts he has a temper in he would have to be supervise to see his child. If that happens you can step up in ask the courts if you can supervise. If he has a lawyer or a pubic defender you ask him to tell the courts. But right now you have to go to court in find out. Sense he has a court date he has a file number. If you don't have a private lawyer then he has a public defender. You call the courts read them his case number/file number in they will tell you who hes public defender is in get the phone number in call the lawyer. And yes your son is going to be charged. He might get jail time. In some states first time spouse abuse is 6months or he could get anger classes, a fine, and community services.But I know he going to have to either or. He in a hole lot of trouble. And if your son don't show up in court he going to have a bench-warrant in they will catch him. Sometimes they will go to your house in check your hole house looking for him. If he does that he only made it worse for him. Don't let him run. He has to face this. In that girl he married she not worth it. She sounds like if she could be on drugs. Tell him to read ten stupid things men do to mess up their lives by Dr. Laura C. Schlessiger. I really hope things are OK for you and your son and grand baby. I feel you I have a 20yrs son. In he did something dumb in I was in-out of court with him. In fact were still going to court on it. They put my son in jail for 3months. I can understand you. He married the wrong girl and also he young. She no good. In I hope one day he will realize that. Right now it's hard for him to see that.Just prey.
2007-01-29 19:11:46 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
my son also went through a heartbreak not long ago, we want to protect them, they are our children, but we can't always. your son is going to have to learn to keep his hands to himself so he doesn't get into trouble. she can and will cause him alot of grief if he doesn't learn to control his anger. he just has to accept what has happened and know that maybe his wife was too immature for marriage. he may get off easy this time but if there is a next time he will have hell to pay. once knew a man who just shoved his wife, second offence, he got jail time, and 2 years house arrest, and the wife was the one who started it. so this could turn out to be serious if there is a next time. he may need to go to court to get court ordered visitation. but he really can't allow this to happen again no matter how upset he is.
2007-01-29 19:06:00 · answer #6 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Okay MOM:
This is the way it is. Your son has poor anger control and you are enabling him. STOP IT. Tell your son to take an anger management class, get him to learn what respect is all about. I would cheer the girl on to take the kid out of his life forever. He is abusive and you haven't helped matters. HE NEEDS HELP and you need to let him learn the hard way.
2007-01-29 18:54:43 · answer #7 · answered by Deborah S 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
NOT GOOD, A Man should never hit a woman , he's in trouble.
2007-01-29 20:59:17 · answer #8 · answered by Fast Steve 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Big mistake.
He should have turned her over his knee.
2007-01-29 19:07:57 · answer #9 · answered by Flagger 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋