How do i get over the cheating?

Question

Thank you so much for all your responses.
its really good to get a mans perspective too.
all of your points are really valid and i am sure i will be reading over them all over and over again over the nect few days.
i guess i need some time to look at all of this and see how i feel then.
right now i dont know whether i am on my head or my bum!
i guess i need time for it to sink in and maybe try to get some time alone...kids permitting
thanks again to all of you
xx

Answer 1

I would try your best to work on you and respect yourself. It isn't a great feeling to be cheated on. No person deserves to be cheated on for no reason at all. Sorry to you above. I don't agree that cheating in return to make you feel better. It will only make you feel worse and make you sink to the same level and kinda make ya hypocryte. Your better off seeking some guidance and counceling if you need someone to talk to you, to help heal the emotional pain. Deffiently be the better person. I didn't see your actual question, but just wanted to say I hope you do well and you find better cause you deserve it! Goodluck

Answer 2

It kills me when people tell you, you need to forgive and forget first off anyone who says they have forgiven the other person for cheating on them they are not only lying to them self but to the cheater as well.Unless someone has invented a magic wand that takes away the pain and the memories it isn't going to happen it stays with you.With time it leases but it will never go completely away.It has been 9 years for me a nd I still think about it and it still makes me cry.Not one day has gone by without me thinking about it.It just pops in my head I try to talk myself out of it but to no avail. All it takes is a certain song a certain movie a word a gesture you get the picture.In other words it's in your head and their isn't anything you can do about it.Now it does depend how long it went on and if he left you for her and how server the lying was I could go on and on the list is long.One thing that helped me was talking in a tape recorder.When ever I felt it coming on the pain I mean I would pertained it was my husband I was talking to. I let him have it I called him and her every name I could thing of .It would calm my down and I would be OK for another hour or two.When ever I went out I took my note pad with me.I would write him a letter and say what ever was on my mind. I went through a lot of paper over the years.I listen to some of the tapes I recorded and I have to tell you I was one sad and hurt woman so I have come a very long way.My husband was a dick back then but he has more then proved him self to me.I love him and at the same time I hate him to.If looks could kill he 'd be dead by now.

Answer 3

Talk about it get counselling, if you live in Britain phone breathing space they listen sometimes people feel better talking with a stranger as they dont know the parties involved and wont be bias..

You have your kids they are great to have around they love you no matter what and no-one can take that from you...

Dont torture yourself thinking about him&her or what they might be doing , or long it went on before you knew only he can answer this so dont you torture yourself over what they done..

Let all your emotions out cry,get angry,scream hurt is the worst thing as its like inside you, get your friends over and just ask them for a hug this will help..

Tell yourself its his loss I deserve better look after yourself take time out when you can and relax pamper you, join a gym its great for getting rid of pent up anger boxersise is great for this..

If it helps write down how you feel at the moment you can look back at it in a couple of months and say look how far Ive come..

Do not blame yourself for what he done or look at things negatively that happened or you said you are not to blame..

Make sure the kids know they had nothing to do with it either tell them the truth if they are old enough they will make their own minds up and dont allow him to use the kids as pawns or let him forget his responsibilities as a dad...

You will be alright its just the pain a break up causes plus the extra pain of him cheating its like greiving it will pass...

Good luck to you and your kids and love and luck for the future

Answer 4

Good luck to you - it is hard and having been there myself many years ago it is a horrible feeling - but I am here to tell the tale and I did get over it and I have met a fantastic guy and have a happy family - I can tell you that in time it will get better, you will trust again and you will be happy

Answer 5

I know what you are going through, check out my questions by clicking on my pic!
Some good links to some of my answers, another web site is
ivillage.com (think you is an American, but there is a UK version)
ivilliage.co.uk
Good luck, but if you stay together, be ready for a long, emotional haul!
Hope it all works out for you!

Answer 6

takes a long while after your betrayed to get past it, u will always remember it, but the pain does diminish after awhile. it also never hurts to get some kind of therapy to help u. it is one of the worst things in life, that u may ever have to deal with. good luck

Answer 7

I have been cheated on in the past I forgave only I couldn't forget the trust was gone and when that goes you have nothing, well I think so.

Answer 8

simply tell your partner about it. and develop the skills in your self you just cannot give away someone's trust. trust is something that is very important for a relationship to work. no cheating and no hurting.

Answer 9

Time is the only thing that will help. It takes a while to regain trust.

Answer 10

yeah you'll get over it but if u stay with him, it will never be the same again. Either get over it, or get rid of him.