he can go for weeks and months with no sex and hardly initiates. if i complain he does effort but that is it. i feel i am less and less attracted to him. i am very sexual person and fatasize about a man who can't get enough of me. I have discussed this him and he we have sex each time I talk to him about this. I feel like going out of my marriage and live a normal sex life atleast for sometimes. My husband is very affectionate in all other ways. i don;t knwo what to do.
2007-01-29 09:50:49 · 23 answers · asked by wonder 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Get his testosterone levels checked. It's a simple blood test, there's nothing to lose. Low testosterone can be a cause of low sex drive in men, and it's bad for one's health in other ways too. There are treatments for it. Other than that - I don't know; my husband is the same way, he's been like that his whole life it seems, sex is just not something he's too concerned with. We've been together for 2 years, and 1xmonth is about the most we ever indulge. It's totally fine with me since my drive is fairly nonexistent, too - but it could be a problem if you have a significantly higher drive. Perhaps you'll just have to come to terms with having to initiate a lot (it is usually the guy who gets stuck with this role). Good luck.
2007-01-29 10:04:14 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
what are your ages? if age has anything to do with it, go seek a physicians advice. Seek therapy or something like that. Sex is a big part of any marriage and the intimacy is what keeps you close. He needs to shape up or ship out. If he is unable to function it would be different....but if he is healthy then he needs to consider your feelings and come to some sort of understanding. Oh and dont cheat. Get out of the marriage before you do that. No body deserves it. Nobody. Remember that. Good luck
2007-01-29 18:04:45 · answer #2 · answered by Truth Teller 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
How old is he? A man's testosterone level falls as he ages. Ironically, a woman's sex drive increases as she ages. Unfortunately, there are a number of things that could be causing his low libido. A mid-life crisis; an affair; certain medications, especially those to do with heart disease and diabetes; low testosterone, to name a few. Have him get a check up or whatever it takes to find the reason. Good luck.
2007-01-29 18:06:10 · answer #3 · answered by Angel_Blue 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm not alone!!! This is so familiar....our relationship is 'backward' as well- if I don't initiate it (and often that doesn't work), it is not going to happen. Time for outside help! I am trying to find the right kind of therapist to see-and then I have to talk my husband into it! I'm glad you have tried discussing this with your hubby, and I wish I had more to offer you. Thank you for asking this question, and good luck!
2007-01-29 18:00:47 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I have heard of this, but don't know what to tell you. My ex and I had sex up to the separation, and a couple times after. That was never the problem. I don't know why men are sometimes like that. As I said, that was the one thing we always did well together.
2007-01-29 17:54:31 · answer #5 · answered by ? 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I really slacked off wanting anything to do with my "X" because sex was 101% about her... when SHE was done, 'we' were done... 3 minutes, 5 minutes... a MARATHON was 10 minutes.. never on top, never anything in return.
She could reach the "O" with my hand in less than a minute most times... again once or twice within a few minute of intercourse... and she was finished - and THAT WAS THAT..
Needless to say, she is the "X"
2007-01-29 23:52:09 · answer #6 · answered by Philip S 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OH this is serious! Please don't go outside of your marriage for this, you will regret it and regret hurting him like that. maybe tell him how you are so serious that you suggest going to a couselor about it, so he knows you mean business. he could also be very stressed, or not producing enough testosterone. there are tests his MD can do to make sure things are ok in that department. maybe have him go to the doc, or you guys go together and check it out...
there are also emotional ties to having a low sex drive. is he satisfied emotionally? ask him what you can do...
best of luck
2007-01-29 17:56:58 · answer #7 · answered by Sweet Face 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Please don't stray from your marriage! I understand your problem because I also have it, just not to the same extent. My husband is shy and doesn't initiate nearly as much as I want him to. It gets to the point where I'm not attracted to him, just like you said. Have you actually told your husband that his behavior at times makes you feel like straying from him? Maybe if he knew the seriousness of it, he'd try harder...? People have different levels of drive, and it's his responsibility as your husband to try to meet your needs, just like if the roles were reversed (which they usually are!... lucky us : P). I hope you two can figure something out. Good luck!
2007-01-29 17:56:51 · answer #8 · answered by heatre24 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
sex play a very important part in a relationship, too much of can ruin and less can lead to unfaithful...what you need before everything else is talk to your hubby, try to understand his problem, it can be only his bored with the traditional ways of sex in your lives, maybe he's to be jump started, dress a bit kinky when you go to bed, changing your wardrobe dressing sexy but classy, introduce sex games in your bedroom, even toys, sometimes it works for others watch porn together, that can ease him out, because l think your man could be masturbating....offer to oral to him.
hope it helps
2007-01-29 18:08:08 · answer #9 · answered by deebo 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would talk to him about it. Perhaps seek a physician advice. As a last resort, I highly recommend the Rabbit...
2007-01-29 17:56:55 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋