My friend from middle & high school just recently moved back after we haven't really hung out or kept in contact for about 10 years. Almost every time we do get together, she takes the opportunity to say something negative about my mom and the things she use to do. She might say something like, "remember that time your mom called my mom and tried to get me in trouble too because you got caught and my mom wasn't going to believe her because just because you did something doesn't mean I did."
Background info: My friend & I use to be very mischievious. A lot of the time, she was worse than me, but my parents were just more strict and aware of what was going on.
Anyway, I get really tired of her not only badmouthing my parents, but also everyone we know, including our mutual & her best friend. I know what's going on, if she talks about all these people like this, including her best friend, she's also doing the same behind my back. How can confront her tactfully about these issues?
2007-01-29 09:36:33 · 7 answers · asked by I!Answer 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
I have a friend exactly like this and the only way to deal with this coward is head on but you don't have to be confrontational when you do approach her. I would simply asked her if we could talk and let her know that the things she says about your mom are very hurtful things and now as a adult she shouldn't still think about it as tattling on her but someone who was actually looking out for her best interest, that's what a caring parent does, if she see your friend doing something that could be harmful, she would tell her parents in hopes that they could stop her from making mistakes or doing something stupid. Just tell her you don't appreciate it and she needs to stop it because you better believe if she is talking about other people she is definitely talking about you, I can guarantee it 100%. Another thing, you friend must have really low self esteem because this is what people do when they are feeling low is to try to put you down and make you feel bad-for some reason it makes them feel better about themselves. You can't change her but you can stop her from doing it in your face.
2007-01-29 09:54:22 · answer #1 · answered by Pegi 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Simply tell her that you are glad she's back in your life, but things have changed over time and you don't appreciate that kind of talk. Your mom was just watching your back when you were kids, after all, moms are there to keep you safe, and now as adults, that should be easier to understand. Tell her that you understand she may have issues with her best friend, but b/c she's your friend too, you don't want to be stuck in the middle of things. Maybe remind her that she wouldn't people talking about her like that...
2007-01-29 09:43:07 · answer #2 · answered by margarita 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tactfully? you need to remove this person from your circle o' friends honey. she's talking trash about your whole town! you are not that special to not be included! if she'll talk about your own mother to your face, just imagine what shes telling other people about her!?!?! just let her know you can't allow her to bad mouth these people any longer and think it would be best to keep topics about the two of you ... about the two of you. if she cant keep her bad talking down to a minimum ... sorry to say you may need to let her go!
2007-01-29 09:42:00 · answer #3 · answered by msdrdn 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't confront her tactfully. She's no longer a friend. Get rid of her, and move on.
2007-01-29 09:40:51 · answer #4 · answered by A Military Veteran 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just be open and frank about it,get right to the point! Tell this friend that yous aren't children any more "to grow up!"
2007-01-29 09:42:05 · answer #5 · answered by swt-bby-gl-69 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well all I can say is when she starts to talking negative cut her off and tell her if she can't say anything goo don't say anything at all because you are offended by her negativity.
2007-01-29 09:44:20 · answer #6 · answered by Cookie48 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sorry, but that is not a friend..
she sounds really insecure about herself
2007-01-29 09:41:26 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋