How do I deal with this rude woman who has way too much nerve?

Question

I work in an office building with about 30 women. I share a particular office with two other women. The air intake just so happens to be in our office so we can't hear each other. There is another woman that has her desk right outside of our office. She always slams our door shut without asking us or telling us whenever we have to talk to each other. It is embarrassing because the whole hall can hear it. We don't talk to her or do anything to get in her way. She also throws huffy fits if she has to wait for the copy machine, like a child. I'm not a confrontational person. I have never even said more than three words to her before. How do I get her to mind her manners?

Answer 1

I always deal with people like this up front. It shocks them.

1. The Door. Next time she slams it shut get up open it and say (I'll call her Sheila) I'm sorry Sheila, would you mind leaving this door open, it can get rather stuffy. By the way - does our talking interupt your work because we can always talk to (insert her boss's name) about the situation. Perhaps your desk could be moved?" And big concerned smile.... She'll back track quick sharp.

2. The Photocopier. I take it she sighs loudly and uses impatient body language. Next time turn slowly and look her steadily in the eye. "Sheila, you know I would happily offer you to go first on this machine, but I also have deadlines and I know you would hate to cause me to miss them." And turn and walk.

Answer 2

Well, first of all, do not confront this woman. That is what she is looking for. She is probably itching for an argument. Do not give it to her.

Want to know her kryptonite? Ignore her. She slams your door. Get up and open it again and do not say a word. Pretend the wind did it. You probably have to walk 3 steps to do it. She has to cross a greater distance. Ignore her. If she starts to yell or have a huffy fit with you about it, ignore her. If she comes to you and asks you to close the door or keep it down, then consider it, but let her know that you have a loud environment to work and you need to speak a little louder so that your office mates can hear you.

By the way, how loud is it in there? You may want to check on that. It does not take that much volume to damage hearing if you are sitting in it all the time.

Answer 3

Rather than confront her yourself why don't you speak to your boss or supervisor?
If that won't do (i.e. she's pally with them) then get some support from your other co workers and come right out with it to her face.
She sounds like a spoilt brat to me and if you can team together in a non threatening way and speak to her in a 'grown up' manner (remember she's the one being childish, not you) then maybe she'll back off and do the job she's supposed to do PEACEFULLY or else get lost and work somewhere else.
You could even write her polite note and have everyone sign it reminding her that this behaviour is NOT gonna get her any friends and would'nt she rather work in a friendly atmosphere that your ALL willing to try hard at if she'll just grow up a bit.
I mean she can't be happy can she, acting like this? It's up to you all to make sure she doesn't bring you down with her.
Staying quiet will eventually, I'm certain, end up in logger heads when one of you eventually snap.
Don't stoop to her childish levels.

See your boss or sort it yourselves.

Good luck!

Answer 4

It appears as if you and your office mate got the short end of the stick in office location but why should everybody else have to put up with the noise? You said yourself everybody and their brother can hear you when you talk so maybe she just doesn't like the sound of your voice. Doors are made for such purpose so live with it or speak with superiors about moving your desks!

Answer 5

It seems that she might be wanting to get noticed by you and your friends, perhaps she feels like an outsider. She's not doing the best thing to get onto your Xmas card list.
When people really get on my nerves (rare) I decide that one day, I'll get my own back, even if it's 20 years later, I do! This calms my nerves for the time being and also stops me from landing an unfeminine left hook to the persons right jaw.

Answer 6

If you are in the office, and it's your door, just open it after she shuts it. She'll undoubtably say something. When she does, disarm her by being polite as possible. Inform her that if she needs it shut, you will gladly do so; but if she slams it like that again, you'll break her arms and legs :) Just kidding! Seriously, be as polite as you can but you need to get her to over-react and embarass herself in front of her coworkers.

Personally, I would ignore her. People who act so unprofessionally never get promoted, drag others down to their level, and are doomed to bounce from job to job.

Answer 7

.....have a chat..if l have a difficult prob l always talk it out calmly and when the issue is not present....most people are approachable and like to feel their opinion is valued..so even difficult issues can be chatted about, l always say..'l have a thorny issue l need your help on' blame the issue not the person...its a great ice breaker....and then l try to explain my take on things...be prepared to compromise...and you may find that she has a point that you do not like too much...admit there and then if she is right.....that way you can arrive at a good compromise..

Answer 8

Take the door of the hinges and move copy machine to beside your desk - might not cure it but worth it for look on her face

Answer 9

Hi HH,
I had an awkward so&so like that many moons ago.
I used a bit of tactics.
1st off, I took the fuse out of the photocopier after use.
The kindly offered to fix it when he was in apparant dire need of the thing, with a grin.
I also invited him to join us all at the Friday lunctime pub thing, on my account, and we all used the oppurtunity to ask him to embarrass himself on the piano, as he had ranted about being able to do anything.
Someone sort of locked him in the bog, then tut-tutted when he got back to the office at 3pm.
Eventually he was moved sideways in the company, after many a complaint as to his silly attitude to people, I took over as "the boss", and we all lived very happily ever after.
Some people seem to breed their own misery.
Just ignore her, and she should go away.
Offer her a high window, and say "do the honourable thing".
All the worst to inherently miserable, grumpy, pompous folks.
They must have deep personal problems & issues.
But most of us can have little sympathy with that, when it is taken out on others, instead of having a friendly chat about it with collegues.

All the best,
Bob.

Answer 10

Maybe she feels isolated and left out. Take the initiative and try and befriend her and getting her to join in a conversation. Its much easier to be nice to someone than not and she may really appreciate your kindness.