Childbirth pains... a horrible thing to be avoided?

Question

No, I didn't get pregnant yet, and I don't think I will.
The main reason that scares the hell out of me is labor pain.
Please, DO NOT preach with cheesy things like "being able to be strong and withstand the pain", "bundle of joy coming to the world", "pain is natural", "it's god's punishment" etc. Such answers are not welcome!!!
Better tell me please if there is a way to get a good anaesthetic like general narcosis. They say epidurals do not always work. I won't get pregnant until there is a guarantee I'll be drugged like the Snow White and won't feel anything.
It's also known your moms experience counts. My mom (though a professional sportswoman and a person made of steel, ice and fire) nearly died and it was HORRIBLE. Me and my mom were on the way to morgue, and the doctors were sssooooo surprised to see us alive.
I don't want to go through this horror and I don't understand women who agree to experience this pain.
Please again no preaching!

I appreciate the friendly support and tactful non-didactic manner of all the answers given to me. Thank you for so much kindness put into your messages. If this matter was not important I would not ask such question, trust me.
I noted down the meds clues, special thanks for that (...and that's exactly what I wanted to learn, lol).
I also had to send one abuse report. Wasn't surprised to get such feedback, but not going to tolerate it, either.
I believe any woman deserves to be saved from this "curse" and supported in any way...

Thank you again, I appreciate all the bunch of practical advice and such incredible attitude to me and my problem, very grateful to all of you ladies for taking it seriously... Or almost all of you. There is a couple of candidates to send abuse reports about (guess who, and one even got positive votes!((() but I won't do that. Let higher powers be their judges.
I'll concentrate on those who really understood I do not want preaching and helped me a great deal.
It's hard to choose one best answer. I'd choose many!!!
And a big-big hug and blessing for all who cared.

Answer 1

If you are really that afraid of childbirth pain, find a doctor who will give you exactly what you want. They are out there, trust me. If you plan to opt for a vaginal birth, get an induction before the labor begins and get the epidural the minute you get there. Or you can talk a doctor into giving you an elective c-section, the delivery will be very short and painfree, however the recovery itself will be more painful. Get the spinal anesthesia, like duramorph, the pain relief is good and lasts for around 12 hrs. Shop around in an area of town which caters to wealthy women who want to schedule and manage their births like they schedule and manage everything else. Believe me, it's not just Hollywood actresses that do this, it happens every day.

I don't recommend general anesthesia for a number of reasons; one you will most likely deliver in the main operating room because you will be recovering in the PACU without your baby and two, you will be completely out for the birth but the recovery will be a lot more painful. General anesthesia increases the risk of maternal aspiration pneumonia and of obstetrical hemorrhage, because the anesthesia inhibits the mother's contractions. It also suppresses the newborn and causes the mother to miss the birth of her child because she is unconscious (if that matters to you).

Since you don't want to hear any preaching, I'll stop now. Except to say, if you're really that terrified of birth and opposed to any pain at all, you will be doing your doctor and nurses a favor to schedule your birth the way I've outlined.

Answer 2

Child birth is very painful. The only thing that I know of is the epidural and you are right they don't always work, and the side effects can sometimes be worse than labor. I choose natural because I didn't like the thought of a needle going through my back. Most wont do a general narcosis because it makes the baby go to sleep and they cant examine the baby as well. If I was you I would go around and talk to different doctors and see if you can find someone that will do it. Good luck to you because having my babies is the best thing that ever happened to me and it is just such a great feeling to be a mom. Good luck to you!!!

Answer 3

I was in labor 22 hours with my first child... it was not fun, but it wasn't all that bad either. Kinda like the worst menstrual pain you ever had times about 2. But they don't last long and you get these nice pain free spaces in between. Anyhow, toward the end I had a "spinal" and was awake for the birth. It was completely pain free after the spinal "shot". I was really sore for about 24 hours and did have what they call a spinal head-ache, but nothing a Tylenol didn't take care of. In fact, they wanted to give me something really strong, but I said no thanks, didn't need it. My second child I had a C-Section and had an epidural. Again, I was awake for the birth and it was completely pain free, until they removed the epidural later and then it was pretty bad. If I had it to do over, I would make sure they left it in longer.
Yes there is some pain involved with any birth, but they do have ways to manage/reduce it, just research it with your doctor way ahead of time.... If your doctor doesn't take you seriously about your concerns and answer all your questions, get another doctor. And I know it will sound cheesy, but you do get this wonderful indescribably reward in the end...the baby.... that really made it worth it for me.

Answer 4

The only time you will be in discomfort is when you're in early labor...and then it just feels like menstrual cramps. The thing to do is talk it over with your doctor in advance, that way you can be assured of getting the pain meds of your choice as soon as you're in an established labor pattern. I had my first 3 w/o meds for various reasons and wanted to die...then an epidural with the 4th and 5th and omg it was great. It was so painfree I was able to nap until it was time to push. I already have it on file to have an epi again this time...and I know the epi made my labor shorter b/c I was more relaxed and not fighting the contractions...I know that whatever people say on here may not change your mind, but I will be cheesy just enough to tell you that it IS a wonderful experience and as long as you have your plans in advance with your doctor, there is no reason you should "suffer" through childbirth...

Answer 5

Well, first off in childbirth, there are NO guarantees. Sorry. Second, if you don't want a bunch of people telling you... how'd you put it? "being able to be strong and withstand the pain", "bundle of joy coming to the world", "pain is natural" You came to the wrong place. Because you will be strong enough. You will end up with a bundle of joy that was worth it. And yes... even the pain is natural. Sorry... but mothers who have given birth are completely the wrong people to ask if you do not want to hear these things. Also, they will no knock you out for childbirth. How would you push? Generally they won't even knock you out for a C-Section. By the way, the "narcs" are wonderful, I've used them every time. Never had an epidural, heard too many bad things about them (besides, no one is sticking a needle into my spinal column). Sorry but you needed to hear the truth, and thats what you just got. If you don't like it, adopt :)

Answer 6

there are no grantee's, but I've had 3 children, and all my epidurals were GREAT and didn't feel a thing when they put them in, I'm sure you have alot of fear from your mothers experiences with you, but medical hospitals and technology have come a long way since then. the pain hurts, but there are things that they can give you. often if an epidural isnt placed right they will just re due the epidural and place it right. dont miss out on all children and babies have to give from fear of pain, if it were that bad none of us would ever have more then 1 lol good luck, hope things get better!

Answer 7

Whith my first daughter,I had an epidural, it had a time release button,so if I was feeling anything,I could push the button. Well, being terrified of pain, I was pushing that button like a Harvard graduate on Jeopardy. When it came time to push, my husband and the nurse had to hold my legs, I could not feel a thing! Now, pregnant with my third. Soon as I walk into the hospital, I will be asking for my epidural. :)

Answer 8

I was a young, scared, 20 year old when I gave birth to my son. My plan had been DRUGS, DRUGS, DRUGS. Unfortunately, I didn't have the option when it finally came down to it.

I was admitted to the hospital at 5AM, and I had my son at 5:23. In that amount of time, I dilated 6 1/2cm.

Honest to God (or the gods, or mother nature, or my drapes, or whatever), it was NOT nearly as bad as I thought it might be. Nowhere near it. In fact, when it came time to push, I was pretty sure that pushing was BETTER than drugs.

It's scary, but billions of women have done it. I am a major wuss, and if I managed to get through it, anyone can.

That said, there are PLENTY of kids out there who need good homes. If you're seriously worried about the pain, don't put yourself through it. You can adopt a baby (or a toddler, or an older child), and they will be JUST as much YOUR child as one you give birth to. I've gone this route, too...and believe you me, all of my kids are MY kids.

Answer 9

If you feel this strongly, you can always adopt. However, if you choose to have your own biological child, then you could always see about scheduling a c-section before you go into labor. Regardless, you will have some type of pain. I can tell you though that a c-section hurts a lot less than actual labor.

Nobody has the right to tell you what you can do with your body. Its all your decision. And remember, you dont have to make any decisions right away about anything.

Answer 10

My epidural was absolutely painless, as was my labor/delivery. And forceps were necessary to deliver my daughter. I was in pain afterward, but baths and spray and a little pain reliever was all I needed. I know of NO women (I'm in my mid 20s and all my friends have kids) who have given birth in the last 10 years whose epidural did not work.