Did she ever love me?

Question

My X g/f and I dated for 7 months and lived together for 3. We got pregnant and had a miscarriage and now she has moved home with her parents. She found out that I cheated on her back before we got pregnant. We had a nasty break up and I called and tried to tell her I was moving on. She has since called me everyday, drove 5 hours to finish some school stuff and stayed the night at my house despite her family telling her not to see me. I have apologized over and over again and I am trying to become a better man for her. I told her last night I want to marry her and have kids with her. I am hurting so bad for doing bad things to her. She says she can not come back because she is angry and doesn't want to sacrifice her feelings. What does that mean? If she loved me then we can work it out, right? She says she knows I am changed and she knows how sorry I am, she says I want something that is not coming back. If she ever loved me,she would want to start fresh.right? i am confused

Answer 1

you seem like a nice enough guy and all but ah.... you cheated on her while she was pregnant and you want to know if she ever loved you? You seem very self absorbed. Leave her alone.

Answer 2

Yes i believe she loves u.. i believe she's also very hurt and all the sorry's in the world dont make it stop hurting, and the trust isnt there anymore, and id be willing to bet that her family obviously wants her to have nothing to do with u from what u've said, and so that is weighing heavily on her decision.. Finally.. the miscarriage.. its a really hard thing to go through, theres alot of emotions that run high during a miscarriage, and she could be suffering from some kind of resentment towards u, (were u there at the hospital?, why did she miscarry?? does she think maybe u and her were fighting alot that could of caused unwanted stress and possibly blames that on the miscarriage?? think about it and what was going on right before the miscarriage that may of resulted in her thinking could of been the cause that part of her might be resenting u for) Doesnt mean that was the cause but in her state of mind , she could be blaming something for the cause even if it had nothing to do with it.

Answer 3

OK this is just my opinion but the fact that you say (we got pregnant) and not (she got pregnant) makes me think that there is some love on your part. The fact that she is seeing you behind her parents back may be simply her rebelling against her parents as a way of saying I am a woman now not a child you cant tell me what to do because I make my own choices. now however you said you cheated - to me this means that the love i talked about at the beginning of this answer is not as strong as it might have once been and on the whole you both need to be careful that you are not falling back into the same trap.

as for you question - did she ever love me?

only you and her can answer that and that is something you both need to talk about before planning any future together

Answer 4

Let the girl breathe.. she's probably so confused in her life right now she doesn't want to make that sort of decision, not to mention get hurt again. It will take SO much time for her to regain trust for you, and if you truly love her, you will give her all the time she needs. And whether or not she wants to be with you right now has nothing to do with her loving you. It just may not be the right time.. after going through a miscarriage and then finding out your bf cheated on you, I'd want a break too... give it time.

Answer 5

u will have to be patient with her, what she is saying is she doesn't want to sacrifice and invest, and go the whole nine yards, only to be hurt and betrayed again by u. she may still love u, and yes she did and probably still does love u, but alot has happened, she needs time to think things over. in the meantime if u are serious about her, don't cheat on her. she is still hurt, the hurt doesn't just go away just like that, it is a process she has to go through, and u have to be patient and understand that we just don't forgive just like that. but when she does decide to give it another chance, don't be cheating on her, got to wait on what u want and pray about it, and not loose hope. she will come back, she just wants to see action, as words and promises mean nothing once there has been betrayal involved. she just doesn't trust u or what u have told her, so wait patiently for awhile and see what happens.

Answer 6

She is still hurting inside. She may know that you have changed and that you are sorry, but the fact that you did cheat still haunts her. I have been in her shoes before. I know how it feels. The depression, the hatred, the "why me?", the "I still love you but I'm hurting" feeling. If she says she loves you, then she means it. She needs time to heal. The fact that she says she doesn't want to sacrifice her feelings makes sense. Most women, including, myself listen to their friends a lot. She doesn't want it to happen again. Ever heard "Once a cheater, always a cheater"? Thats what she means. She doesn't want to give you her heart again because of the fear that you might hurt her again. Give her some time to heal. It does take time. But when she is ready, because by reading what you said she still loves you, she will come to you. Talking about it too much and pressure just makes it worse. Give her space and time. Her heart is broken. Let her heal.

Answer 7

Picture for a moment the thing you hold most precious in this world... think back to the very moment you realized how precious it was -- your child's first smile, a perfect day with a g/f -- whatever that moment was -- then picture it being freight trained by an asphalt roller machine. THAT's how your ex g/f feels. That's what your cheating did to her heart. And no woman with any sense of self esteem will forgive a thing like that. The best thing all around is for you to leave her alone.

Answer 8

You cheated on her before- she had a miscarriage, which is devastating to some women and you just want to pick up where you left off. Women can't do that- you hurt her- you cheated on her- she trusted you and you broke that trust. She doesn't want to get hurt again. Give her time to sort out her feelings. Don't hound her about getting back together. Let her decide and if she decides she doesn't want to get back together then let it go. You made your bed- now lie in it.

Answer 9

Hey, sometimes there is no starting fresh. Move on.

There might be some subconscious psychology at work inside her that says "Yeah, he wants to have kids, except that the one kid he was gonna give me, did not live to be born."

Realize that. It's a biological thing. Add that in to the fact that you cheated on her and she knows it, so even if she did have a child with you, you might leave for someone else.

She was pregnant with your child, and you didn't marry her.

On the surface, she might miss you, or have unresolved feelings.

But biologically you are not giving any signs that you will provide a happy family for her, long term, and she knows that.

Good luck.

Answer 10

The trust is gone,I am sure she loved you maybe even still does .It that more than just love to make a relationship work trust is a big thing and you may never win that back. You should learn from your mistakes (never take a women for granted )on move on. There will be other loves.Good luck

Answer 11

Its so much easier to stay mad at some one than to let them back in to our hearts. I'm sure she really does still love you but is terrified. She's trying to protect herself. By her not wanting to sacrifice her feelings, I take that as she doesn't want you to think that this was ok. When you obviously know it wasn't, but its her way of trying to stay strong when your trying to sweep her off her feet. If you want to be with her, you just need to stay patient and move at her pace. Keep letting her know you have changed and what you want. And make sure you don't do any actions that say other wise. If her feelings are still there, it will happen eventually. But it will take time.