My friend is going to stay with her boyfriend and his parents in a hotel a couple hours away, him and her are going to share their own room.....well he wants her to have sex but he doesn't want to or can't get protection and she is only 14, she doesn't want to get pregnant but he refuses to get protection. I told her a couple things to tell him (kinda innapropiate) but she doesn't want to tell him those so I don't know what the hell I am supposed to tell her....plus she doesn't have the money for an abortion and her parents will blow the situation out of proportion......what can I tell her, she is very stubborn and is too chicken/ or just is too scared to tell him anything but yes, and I told her that is she ABSOLUTELY MUST then atleast just stick to foreplay but......What can I tell her????
2007-01-29 08:17:06 · 12 answers · asked by Chikk230 2 in Health ➔ Women's Health
At FOURTEEN, she is WAY too young to be put into a situation like this!!! He sounds very pushy and I'm guessing he's probably used the "if you loved me" line at least once already.
MY advice to you is to tell her to cancel her trip and dump that guy!!! He IS going to get her pregnant, there's not two ways about that.
She needs to get her head on straight and if she absolutely INSISTS on going on this trip and being all but raped by this loser, then she needs to get some sort of female-controlled birth control, such as VCF (Vaginal Contraceptive Film) or the Today Sponge. Both of these are inserted into the vaginal canal prior to sex and have spermicides...but they also have an estimated 20-25% failure rate (so she has about a 1 in 4 chance of getting pregnant still!).
Last ditch effort is to tell her parents EXACTLY what is going on. It may cost your friendship, but it may save HER life (young rape victims are 5x more likely to attempt to commit suicide than other age groups).
2007-01-29 08:28:18 · answer #1 · answered by Brutally Honest 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your friend is too scared to tell her boyfriend that she is uncomfortable with the idea of having sex with him then she is probably too young to be having sex.
This is a huge liufe changing decision that only she can make. If she is that uncomfortabnle I would tell her to not go on the trip. If she believes that she is not going to be able to tell him that she doesn't want to or that he is not going tp accept it then she just need to take herself out of the situation.
Also, she should not even be thinking about it if she does not have access to protection.
Walk your friend through the consequences of wehat could happen if she does not stand up for herself.
1. She may regret it for the rest of her life.
2. She may get pregnant if she does not have protection
3. She may catch a STD if she does not have protection
2007-01-29 08:28:15 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
In what kind of family your friend has fallen in? If you are really her friend and love her, tell her to get away from this boyfriend and his freaky family. To begin with she is only 14, what the hell is she doing with her life, and what foreplay are you talking about? Where are her parents? Your friend is falling in a pit of sh*t and she does not know it, nor do you it seems.
2007-01-29 08:28:24 · answer #3 · answered by markos m 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you are a true friend, you would tell her not to go, and with just the foreplay, that could lead into another if you know what i mean. she has to get the courage and tell her boyfriend that if he truly loved her that he wouldn't be pushing her into doing something she's unconfortable doing at such a young, i didn't have sex till i was 18 and graduating from high school.
2007-01-29 12:05:32 · answer #4 · answered by mycki_d_1972 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just to let you know...it is ILLEGAL for her to have sex with anyone...she is not 16 yet, so therefore she is legally not able to consent to sex. Don't let her screw up her life....this guy is lying to her about no protection...that is crap!! He is so going to jail, and he will be listed as a sex offender in the sex offender registery for the rest of his life.
I know this is tough, but it is up to you at this point. You need to tell her to not have sex. If she fights you anyways, tell her to bring her own condoms, but also tell her you will be calling the police and making a report. Tell your parents, and tell the adults she is going to the hotel with. Let her know that it is ILLEGAL for hre to sleep with this guy, and that if he does, he will end up in jail and be lsted as a sex offender. She may also be in legal trouble, since she will then be a "delinquent minor"
Please stand up and do the right thing
2007-01-29 08:53:51 · answer #5 · answered by iloveeeyore 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Perhaps you could remind her that if he doesn't wear a condom then she will be exposed to any STD's (sexually transmitted diseases) that he may have contracted before meeting her!! AIDS being the first big one that springs to mind. Basically, if he wears no condom, she will possibly be risking her life!!! Surely you could tell her that, at least if she's too chicken to stand up for her rights and the respect she so deserves, she can stand up for her life !!!
PEACE & LOVE & ALL THAT
2007-01-29 08:32:17 · answer #6 · answered by Minx 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her to be sick and cancel. Unless she wants to wind up 14 and pregnant, or 14 and taking meds for a disease. The answer is no. You know, her parents can have him arrested for rape if they find out. And his parents are out of their freaking minds to allow this.
2007-01-29 08:27:20 · answer #7 · answered by WifeandMom 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
tell her to tell her boyfreind that they are 14 they are WAYYYY to young to have it and HAVE A BABY! are yu crazy!! how the h e doulblr L are they going to tell there parents or take care of a baby i couldnt imagine giving birth at age 14!!!!!!!!!
________________________
ADVICE PLEASE
I have had vaginal discharge for 8 months or so.. i have breasts but they are small i have had hair near my va JJ but not to much i have had my growth spurt what else am i missing or wat else do i need to get my preiod i am 5'1" i weigh 75 pounds ive heard u need to have 80 ilbs to have your period and i am working on it....
i have also had spotting but some people say it was my period how can i find out FOR SURE if it was my period or not?
email me at
model_staus14@yahoo.com
2007-01-29 08:48:44 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
She can get the protection condoms are easy to get.
she could refuse to go if he does not get with the plan.
she could say wrong time of month.
Only real lovers do it then.
2007-01-29 08:30:04 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
maybe you could show your friend examples of young women who have ruined their life for the sake of a boy. tell her he loves her he should want to protect her. he should not force her to do anything she is not ready for. remind her it takes only one time to get pregnant.
2007-01-29 08:31:52 · answer #10 · answered by pgarey2001 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋