My wife wont stop crying over the death of Barbaro...what can I do?

Question

My wife is an animal lover...we have 3 cats and take care of ferals in the neighborhood.

Today, she read on the news that they killed the horse known as Barbaro.

Since hearing the news, my wife has left work early and is crying her eyes out at home... I'm talking pure hysteria here!!!

I'm obviously not leaving work early to comfort her as she cries for a horse she had no personal contact with at any point in her life...

Now, she is looking to donate money to a foundation to help horses (a big waste of money in my mind)

What can I do to snap her out of this? She shouldn't be crying over any animal, let alone a horse who had a good life (I mean, this horse won the kentucky derby, I'm sure it had all the privilidges in life including money, fame and female horses)

Answer 1

She might be crying because she is thinking of a pet of hers that has passed away. Sometimes when I read an article about a rabbit dying, I start to tear up. I start thinking about my beloved rabbit, Buttons, who died in 2003. Also, she might be depressed, you should talk to a pschiatrist (not sure how to spell) or therapist.She can also be having that time of the month which is making her extremely emotional.

Answer 2

Let her know that it is better off he was put to sleep. The problems he was having were not going to go away. Once a horse gets to the point Barbaro was at, the most humane thing to do is to put them to sleep. The complications he experienced are ones a lot of horses will go through (though they can be caused by other things) if they get a certain type of disease (laminitis). Most often, the only thing to do is to euthanize the horse. This is considered the most humane thing to do in these cases. It seems as though his owners tried their best to do everything they could to help him heal. As far as female horses, I doubt Barbaro had started his stud career just yet (though if he had lived, he would have had plenty of females around). And for the money, I doubt he would have known what to do with it ... he was a horse, after all. :)
As far as the horse having priviledges, I wouldn't necessarily say that. Thoroughbred racing starts horses out way too young, and a lot of them end up "breaking down" at a young age. Generally, horses' bones are not fully developed/strong until they are 3 or 4 years old, and Thoroughbreds are generally raced starting at 2 years of age. It is amazing more of the young horses that race don't end up like Barbaro. I am sure you can find many people who have rehabilitated or adopted ex-racehorses who can tell you of all the complications due to the stress put on them at a young age. http://www.rerun.org/
As far as your wife being upset, be a little more sensitive and just let it go. She will chill out over time. If she wants to donate money to help horses, have her find a local rescue or adoption agency - they can really use the money, as opposed to a lot of the larger agencies. If she is considering donating a lot, then you may want to discuss it with her, but a small amount should not be a big deal.
Just because someone has emotions about something they didn't have personal contact with, doesn't mean its wrong. The emotions she feels are real and she will get through it and move forward. If you cannot understand what she is going through, tell her that kindly and just let it go.

Answer 3

I believe you are looking at things wrong. It is obvious that your wife is quite sensitive and it hurts her when animals die. If she is at home crying, she needs to get it out of her system. I don't believe it is fair of you to feel she needs to change the way she feels. This comment states that you are not accepting her for who she is, but what you want her to be. You commented that she has feelings for a horse that she had no contact for. Many people cried, donated, and tried to help in every way they could over the people and their families in the 9/11 attack. Even though this was a different scenerio, it still follows the same process on how your wife views things. I would not put her down for wanting to donate to a horse rescue or charity. So you know, they are tax deductable. Most of your horse rescue organizations are in the same boat I am. I am suppose to pick up a 12y/o ex-race horse that had been abandoned and was found wandering the streets. He is very thin, he has three of his four hooves that have laminitis and are abscessed and his teeth are like a 30 y/o horse. It is apparent that this horse had suffered severe neglect. How did they know who the horse is? He had a racing tatoo that had been researched. Unlike Roy and Gretchen (Barbaro's owners), I have an extensive knowledge on laminitis and so I don't have to rely on a vet that has not kept up with the disease. It is very difficult to help horses get back on their feet due to neglect from uncaring people. Horses do not ask to be treated so poorly, but many of them are.

I hope this gave you a better understanding.

Answer 4

I'm not crying over it, but i find Barbaro's death really sad too. Then again, I do own a horse and ride everyday.

I think that if she wants to donate money to help horses, let her do it. (obviously not too much) this will probably help her feel better.

Maybe she's upset about something else in her life and this just brought it out?

Answer 5

I think the horse has had to endure a lot in order to meet expectations of the owners and others who worked with the horse. Actually the horse has been trying to perform daily in what society forced him to do. I think actually he is in a better place than to continue with more surgery, pain, infection, more cutting. I am glad that now he is gone. While alive he performed and was a wonderful beast in his glory time. Let him live in peace and please be more loving toward your wife as she has a care about animals that apparently you do not have. Listen to her feelings and be patient with her.

Answer 6

Let her feel bad. Go buy her the Barbaro Beanie Baby. Get her some flowers.
I don't know....he made me a ton of money when he was running, but I'm not sobbing over it....his owners did what was best for him each and every day and if that included him being put to sleep, they did it for the best reasons and intentions.

Answer 7

Well, I'm kinda like your wife, I'm a BIG animal lover, so yea it would take awhile before, she forgets about that horse. But maybe you could, got take her to a farm, and let her pet some animals, and stuff like that, maybe it might help, but if it makes her worse, just try to make her forget about it and ask her about getting another cute little animal.

Answer 8

Is your wife on anti-depressants? I'm actually serious...she should be happy they finally euthanized Barbaro. The owners realized how much pain the horse was in and put it out of it's misery. She should've cried when the accident first occured, not now.

Have her volunteer at local animal shelters. She'll love it!

Answer 9

Let her cry for awhile. Anyone who has ever had a pet has cried when that pet died. Just tell her that he was in so much pain, and his life was no life at all anymore, and that it's best for the horse that he was put to sleep. Let her be. She'll snap out of it when she's ready.

Answer 10

You just have to get her time to forget about this horse. She must be very sensitive. I dont know how to stop her from donating the money because I think its a waste too. The horse was put under euthanasia, not hacked up in hundred pieces. People really need to get over this BS.