My wedding- should I invite my ex husband's parents?

Question

firstly I have 2 kids by my ex, and his parents like to make their prescence as the grandparents felt (not in a nice way).
Im pregnant by my current partner and also have another child with him. I am planning our wedding for near the end of this year.
My current bf's mom said I should not invite my ex's parents, brother and 2 sisters to the wedding. this is because when I had my 3 children christened last year, my ex's mom said something horrible to me. My bf's mom obviously does not want me hurt on mine and her son's big day. My own mom agrees but also said if i do not invite at least my ex's parents, they will feel snubbed and things could get nasty. (yes they are those kind of people). My bf thinks we should also invite them to keep the peace, he wanted also to invite my ex but i put my foot down and said no! now I am unsure of what to do I do not want them bitching at me for all my life (as they visit their grandchildren once a month) but i also do not want my wedding ruined!

Answer 1

sure invite them
i love it when it kicks off at weddings

Answer 2

You are IN NO WAY obligated to invite your ex's parents to your wedding! That's absolutely asking for trouble. The ONLY attachment you have to them is your children. Do they invite you and your new partner to anniversaries, Christmas, Thanksgiving get-together's ? Why do you want to invite people that are clearly not family and that are not nice people to such a special sacred day as your wedding should be? Your ex's parents lost their right to 'fuss' at you when you and their son divorced and ended that marital bond. THE only interest your ex's have in your life is their grand-children and nothing else. Have they earned the right to be at your wedding? Until they can treat with respect, I wouldn't invite them any where near my new family functions, except, of course for their grand-children's birthdays, communions, school play, etc. You need to concentrate on your new husband-to-be, so this marriage won't end up in divorce as well. Being married is hard enough dealing with people that love you and that you; however when you add to that mix people who don't give two hoots about you, then you have a disaster in the making. Now if you were still close with your ex's parents that's a different story, BUT according to what you wrote they are just mean spirited people. FOR THE SAKE OF YOUR VERY IMPORTANT AND SPECIAL DAY, DO NOT INVITE THE EX'S PARENTS. They have no business there on that day! Please grow a backbone and stand up to them IF they question why they weren't invited. Just say, "It wasn't you place to be at my wedding with my new husband." Offer no other explanations, there is no need. They should understand

Answer 3

You need to take control of this situation. You are about to start a new life with your fiance - what a great opportunity to make some boundries with regards to your ex's family going forward. I understand that they are grandparents to their son's two children and you sound very reasonable by letting them see the kids - you don't have to. However, having them at the wedding is absolutely ridiculous - I would be so upset if my boyfriend suggested having his ex girlfriends parents there - it is the weirdest thing I have heard. Don't be pushed around by these bullies - they are nothing to do with you and your new husband - your husband also needs to stand up to them. Keep them at arms length - let them see the grandchildren if they behave and always have it on your terms. If they are rude say to them "that hurt me, why did you say that" - watch them flounder as they are made to look nasty bullies. Good luck.

Answer 4

Make a stand now. Your loyalty is to your current bf and his family. Listen to his mom, she will feel really uncomfortable around your ex's family. It could spoil the day big time if they all turned up. Maybe you should consider going away to get married and then have a seperate reception when you get back. Thats what we did....We had similar problems when we got married and there was some friction when we didn't invite my son's grandparents, but it was short lived and they still talk to us. Life's too short.

Answer 5

It is completely inappropriate to invite the ex-in-laws to the wedding. Don't do it. That is a celebration of your new family...not your old one and they have no right to be included. They need no explanation and you know that you would be uneasy having them there waiting for them to say something nasty. Save yourself the trouble and if they don't like it they can visit their grandchildren when your ex has them not while they are in your care.

Answer 6

It's your day - do you want to remember your wedding with them involved and being uncomfortable (as I'm sure they'd be at your wedding to a new man). Maybe you could ask them to baby sit the kids or come to dinner one night leading up to the wedding so they feel involved in the kids lives and not like they're missing out. But the do not have to be at the ceremony or at the reception. It's innapropriate! And they're nasty already anyuways so why worry about their reaction? Just be kind and understand they just want to be around their grandkids, so let them have as much of that time as possible.

Answer 7

I think your mad,, your not with your ex anymore,, so that means you dont have to take any more of there sh*t with a smile..

Tell em where to get off..

DONT INVITE THEM, your wedding is a celebration of the committment between you and your new partner, the new life that your setting off on together..

Your ex's parents/family are the past, fair enough if they want to see the kids, but they got no legal rights to, only he does.

You need to make a stand against them for the future of your new marriage.

Answer 8

Dear me!
It sounds like you should put your foot down and stump it!
Why on earth would you invite your nasty ex's parents???
Just ex's parents is a "why" let alone nasty ones to your wedding when it has nothing whatsoever to do with them?
Sounds like you're afraid of them and that they are telling you what to do?
What else do you need their approbation for?
Come on, it's high time you set things straigth!
They are your ex's parents. Come and see the kids because YOU are good enough to let them.
But there needs to be a limit to their involvement in your life. Don't you think so?? Err hello??!!!xxx

Answer 9

Wedding etiquette says:

The bride/groom make the decisions.

Also...

All exes are null and void.

Should you invite them, expect that they will expect to be included in all ensuing events.

Lastly...

Don't let stupid ppl push you around and influence your decision, especially where plans for your wedding are concerned.

Suggest that they throw you and your husband a get together.

You're looking at a world full of control by these ppl if you give in, especially at a wedding where they are no longer legally part of the family.

Good luck...

Answer 10

At the end of that day they are not your family anymore and yes they have rights to see their grandchildren but if shes blatently nasty to you, she will take the invite and find another excuse to be a cow to you.

Do whats right for your big day and stuff what anyone else thinks. Its your day afterall and if anything does happen that leaves an unpleasant taste in your mouth, you will regret it for the rest of your life. What does your future hubby think about this?

Answer 11

If you are dead set against inviting your ex who is that father of your children why are you having difficulties in excluding his family? I see no logic here. How could you want your children's grandparents to atttend but not the other parent. Do you self a favor, invite friends and family who will support you and share the happiness of your day. This obviously does not include former family members.