Can I change my opinion of him?

Question

I love spending time with my boyfriend. I love doing nice things for him and I trust him 100%, he is caring, affectionate, trustworthy, great family but he is just a little too nice sometimes.

I come from a background of 7 years in emotionally abusive relationships and it is so hard to change your thinking pattern. I do think that I deserve to be treated nicely and the last thing I want is to be treated like crap again but how can i change my opinion of the one I am with so I can stay with him forever and be happy?!?!

Answer 1

i do agree you'll need to change your perspective a little bit but dont work on it alone. Tell your boyfrend how you feel and ask him to help you work on it. So when he does something nice and you either get irritated with it or mad or however you react, when you do that your bf can help you realize that your doing that and either calm you down or just help you accept his kindness. However, DO TELL HIM how you want him to react to your reaction, bcuz if he does something that jus makes you even more mad...thas not good...so tell him a few diff options of what he can do when the situation comes up. for example: even a simple thing as such a hug, or kiss, or hand squeeze, or telling youhe loves you and doesnt mean harm...anything you want just let him know what you'd want to hear or see.

But i would DEFINATELY suggest not working on it alone, yall are a couple and as a couple you guys should help each other with each others problems, especially one like this.

Because you do realize what your doing and you do want to change, thats great!!! its a really good thing you realize that and want to act on it!! so be proud of yourself already for the realization of it all!! now you just need to ask your b/f to help you work through it.

Goodluck!