I want to try to move on but is it to soon. Is it ok just to enjoy life after being with a person for so long? I am afraid that when I find someone new he is going to leave me one day the way my ex husband did. How can I learn to trust again after believing the one I loved and then just being dumped like nothing?
2007-01-29 07:38:31 · 24 answers · asked by giofab1 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
move on, it's ok
you can enjoy life, coz life is too short
if you meet a new man, have fun, if he leaves you, so what, you can find someone else.
Believe me you can love more than once
2007-01-29 07:44:34 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Everybody is different and all because you have been left once does not mean that it will ever happen again. Each relationship is different and an adventure in it s own right. After being left like that you can carry your baggage for too long and tar everyone you meet with the same brush. This will deny you the one thing that you want and that is to love and be loved again. The only good thing about feeling the way you do (i always felt) is that it reminds you of your humanity, something which can be torn away from you when you are left.
To enjoy life you must enjoy who you are now as a single person. It hurts to start and feels alien but you can find out your strength s when your comfort blanket of a relationship is removed. It is always wise to move on or else you will only torture yourself with the what ifs and maybes. It s hard to see a former love move on while you hang on to the vain hope that you can get it all back, but you will never have a relationship with that person again as the trust has gone.
I hope you find the strength to move on and start anew, as there are so many wonderful people in this world who are waiting for your love. x
2007-01-29 08:17:22 · answer #2 · answered by rebecca x 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Been there. It is almost the most important thing I found was to learn to enjoy life without a partner. This time gave me room to learn and realize what I wanted. I would not have been able to trust anyone for the longest time if I had jumped right back into another relationship too soon. I gave it time and although hard at first, did learn to enjoy my own company and go out and have fun with friends. Give it time and you will find yourself again and learn to trust someone new. Self worth is important after being dumped like you meant nothing to them.
2007-01-29 07:45:23 · answer #3 · answered by mayihelpyou 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Right after you break up with someone, it will hurt for a long time, so it is never a good idea to rush right into another one. Take a year, at the least to enjoy being alone before you think about seeing anyone else, and let yourself heal from everything, otherwise you won't just hurt yourself again, but you will hurt the next person you are with because you would still not be secure in the relationship or with yourself, afraid that you will go through everything again.
2007-01-29 07:44:20 · answer #4 · answered by Lief Tanner 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry your marriage failed. It's like a death and, just like a death, you need time to grieve. Right now, everything looks pretty bleak and you don't think you could ever trust someone, let alone fall in love again. Give yourself time to mourn your loss. Allow yourself time to cry and come to terms with it. Then, stand up, dust yourself off and set to work making your life as good as it can be. Take a class of some kind. Get together with friends. Go on a guided tour somewhere wonderful (with or without a friend). Join a club. Get a make-over. Focus on creating a wonderful quality of life for yourself and learning to enjoy your own company. It's actually possible to go out to dinner by yourself or to travel on your own and have a good time. Then, as you discover you are a whole person in your own right, someone will stroll into your life and you'll discover that you can love again and, if he deserves it, you can trust again.
2007-01-29 07:49:57 · answer #5 · answered by Yo' Mama 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Guess we both have a common pain. In reality, there is no answer to this question. Well, in real life there are 50/50 chances. So make your self strong that turbulences in the relationships does not bother you any more. If you out to date with guys then ensure that you donot let your weaknesses surface. Any new person may not be aware of your personality, so create an impression that you are strong (personality wise) and if the other guy cheats you then it will be his loss. I know I sound like a prophet but it has been a personal experience.
2007-01-29 07:45:19 · answer #6 · answered by anecentric 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think the real questions are: are you content to wait? Can you handle the pain of another relationship? What are you looking for and what areyour reasons for wanting this? These are the deep questions you have to ask yourself before you can even think about trusting someone else. Be strong, and enjoy life without the status of being together with someone. Life is too short to worry about this. You deserve someone wonderful. Don't let it be just anybody.
2007-01-29 07:44:07 · answer #7 · answered by ariel 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
of course u will love again, but not until u get your self confidence back, and realize this had nothing to do with u, and wasn't even about anything u did or did not do. obviously u are still blaming yourself, but this was his doing, and the person he left u for's doing. this has hurt your self worth, and u are gun shy, due to the way your ex treated u. all men aren't like your ex. the fault was with your ex, caused by his selfishness, and lack of understanding and twisted ways of thinking. u aren't nothing, u are a somebody, don't let what he did affect your future and rob u of your self worth. and adversity or tragedy will create an uncertainty and make us think we somehow caused it, but it wasn't us, it was him trying to escape something that didn't quite suite him, but every marriage has it's ups and Downs only he wasn't able to deal with any disappointment or problems. just get some therapy to make u understand why, and dust yourself off again and reach out , and have faith in the future. don't let him affect your future, he did this not u. just don't fear new relationships, as we have to put ourselves out there again because it's the only way to find love again. just be careful next time, get to know them better, but u can't base your future on your past.
2007-01-29 08:03:55 · answer #8 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The trick is to not let your past hinder your future, or change how you can live. Love with all your heart and dot let what people have done before ruin a new relationship with someone who hasnt done those things. But on the same vain, dont put up with more than you normally would.
Everyone deserves to be happy. Good luck.
2007-01-29 07:48:03 · answer #9 · answered by PleaseNoMoreNumbers 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
People change and sometimes grow apart.You can't stop loveing just because he stoped loveing you.Go out and have a big time,its the only way to get really over it.If you stay alone,too many thoughts run through your head,so its good to get out.Make life worth living,I know it hurts,thats how love is,but if you are willing to love again im sure there is someone else waiting to receive.
2007-01-29 07:45:47 · answer #10 · answered by klr_kevin 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It may be too soon I am not sure... Try taking your time and dating first and making new friends... Take your time to heal from the past and the pain of your last breakup.... You need to heal and make sure you are ready for a new relationship someday and do not bring the pain of the past into your new relationship... I wsh you the best... Over time you will be able to trust again someday. Like i said do not rush it!
2007-01-29 07:49:19 · answer #11 · answered by Lady Hewitt 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋