Is it wrong to celebrate mother and mother in laws b-day together?

Question

My mother in law's birthday is sunday my mothers birthday is Wednesday so I want to have a dinner for them is it wrong to have the two mothers toghether for there birthdays? My husband and I haven't been married for that long so they don't know each other that well they have meet a handful of times and used to talk on the phone a bit. My mother in law is very jelous of my mother that's the only reason I feel she wont be happy. I feel she needs to get over her insecuritys and deal with it she needs to start mingling herself with some of my family. She has been invited to my mothers house alot and always makes excuses.

Answer 1

I don't think either would appreciate the awkwardness of trying to mingle socially by celebrating both of them at the same time. That may be something you can consider once they have become at least tolerant of each other through other social events. Your mom could resent the fact that you are trying to accommodate both of them at the same time. I think each of them would feel good if you celebrated each birthday separately!

Answer 2

I think that is a great Idea...When you get married families are suppose to come together..
You went from just your family too two families all pulled into one.
How do you know that your mother In law is jealous of your mother? Jealous of what?
Anyways they are both grown ups and since you have married your husband they have become family through marriage weather they like it or not.
Maybe that will be good for the two of them to get together to celebrate their birthdays..Maybe not..
Give it a shot and if they really don't look as though they feel comfortable in each others company..Then don't do it again.
The most you can do is try.
Good luck ( Hide the knives LOL Just kidding)

Answer 3

She is going to want the day to herself. I understand your need to tell her to get over it, but shes not ready and pushing her will only make her feel even less special than she already feels. Older people don't 'get over and deal with' things like younger ones do, (not that they always do either) give her time to get used to his being married and permanently away from her, one day the shoe may be on the other foot and you will be glad you were more gracious to her. There will be many times in the future when both families will come together for celebrations, and birthdays, keep asking her and not pushing her she may even be a bit shy and uncomfortable around large groups.

Answer 4

You got some good answers here. I have mother and mother-in-law together for Mother's Day every year and it is GREAT. But they LIKE each other. This is supposed to be a happy time for each of them, unless it is something you can not help (timing or money) then you should do it seperate. Don't let someone have hurt feelings for her birthday.

Answer 5

About your mother-in-law being jealous of your mother, that's typical. That's another woman, besides you, that could "steal" her son from her. By "steal" I just mean who can have some kind of influence in his life other than his own mother who, according to most mothers of son's, shall be the only significant woman in his life forever, more important than the wife, yada yada yada. It's the same way in my family. Anyway, I digress. If your mother-in-law and your mother don't know each other, and you know your mother-in-law is jealous of her, I wouldn't do it. Yeah, she should grow up and all, but you know she won't, and it's a recipe for disaster. What happens if your mother has a prettier cake than your mother-in-law? What if more people are there for your mom? What if your mother likes her gifts and your mother-in-law doesn't? What if your mother gets something your mother-in-law wanted? Your mother-in-law will look for something to get mad about. Trust me. Although I'm sure your intentions are good, you might want to let your mother-in-law be a baby and avoid drama on their birthdays even if it is ridiculous. Everyone, even evil mothers-in-law, deserve to enjoy their own birthdays.

Answer 6

Mothers do not adapt well to non family members, in a setting where both Mothers are sharing a common bond is a good opportunity to build a bridge. I would say do it, but make sure that there is equal number of each mothers children, grand children at the activity.

It is important that each Mother consider the love that their family is sharing, not the gifts. So make sure the gift is the same to both. ($100 gift certificate to the same store)

Answer 7

Not at all. I think it's a great idea and excuse to get them together. After all, they're going to be seeing each other here and there for along time to come for one reason or another. Maybe have a cake for each of them though. That will help keep it individual.

Answer 8

it is no longer incorrect, yet i imagine you should honor each and every mom one after the different, extraordinarily in view that one in all them looks insecure interior the relationship. My mom hated my (ex) mom-in-regulation, so I made particular now to not stress both the them jointly until eventually fairly needed. Have one over for dinner one weekend, then the different one the subsequent weekend. Make each and every's birthday particular. there'll be various of a lot less formal events once you get both of them jointly.

Answer 9

yes it is wrong, even if your husbands mother likes you it is only a surface love, she really feels there never is a woman good enough for her son, she thinks she should take care of him all his life,,

your mother knows this and it will cause a hassle in the long run,

Answer 10

that would me very nice to have them the same day that way they can get to know each other my mom died when i was 18 but if she had lived i would of invited both on holidays or birthdays