I consider myself a lesbian, but no one at work knows. Not that that directly bothers me because I'm not one to bring my private life to work. However, sometimes they make comments that upset me because I feel they are being a bit homophobic and intolerant. I speak up for my beliefs without saying that I am gay, but sometimes I feel they need to know that they are directly offending me. And sometimes they question me on why I don't have a boyfriend and if an attractive male customer comes in, they motion to me and say things like "you should get his number." I get annoyed by this. However I don't want my sexuality to be an issue with my work and I don't want it to effect their view of me, but I'm just tired of it all. I know that they can't fire me because of my sexual orientation, but I just don't think my sexual preference is any of their business. What can I do to feel more comfortable at work?
2007-01-29 06:49:08 · 5 answers · asked by Xindy 4 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
Just to give you an idea of where I work, I work in an office with 3 other people, and about 5 people work outside the office, and there are 3 commissioners that make decisions for the office but only come in on occasion. The office is a pretty close working environment. And I also consider myself friends with my co-workers. They are nice people for the most part. I've been working here 3 years now and have gotten to know them pretty well. Actually, I don't think I'm the only closet case in the office either, but I can't tell cause my gaydar is not too good.
2007-01-29 07:30:46 · update #1
yup i feel ya ive been here for a year and im not out to my coworkers i dont wanna deal with the perverted questions and annoying prying....im out everywhere else but work...i think i need to come out here soon but i really really dont want to go through all the crap i know im going too....i wanna get a new job and start it by being out....personally i dont think its any of my coworkers business and i know if i tell them ill get harrassed
2007-01-29 07:34:36 · answer #1 · answered by Hen 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I used to be in the same situation at work too. I think the best thing you can do is to ignore offensive gay remarks made by your colleagues. I understand how hard this can be but what other choice do you have? And you never need to feel compelled to come out to your colleagues, cos it's none of their business. I think these nosey parkers should mind their own business cos my gut feeling tells me that they question you about your single status because they are trying to trick you into revealing that you're lesbian, cos gaydar or not, most people can sense it.
2007-01-29 17:55:09 · answer #2 · answered by xander 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are not comfortable letting people know that you a gay and if you have no intention of actually being friends with any of your coworkers, then there is no need to tell. I hve been very lucky in all of my jobs to work in a totally gay friendly environment, so it was never an issue. You don't have to be out to let these people know that what they are saying is wrong. Just tell them that it bothers you to hear those kinds of things, that you are not interested in dating any clients and that you would appreciate if they would leave your personal life out of their discussions.
Personally, I think it would be more accepted to tell them you are gay and let them know that they are friends with a really smart, cool lesbian. It might change someone's mind/
2007-01-29 15:00:52 · answer #3 · answered by Beth B 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can be comfortable at work by STANDING up for your beliefs. NO ONE need be subjected to stupidity or homophobia....tell whoever is saying whatever to stow it and grow up! And, if someone tells you to get someone's number at work, tell them they are behaving unprofessionally! They are! Work is work, not a gossip mill. Let it be known that you do not take kindly to gossip or stupid remarks. Sooner or later, all will get the idea and keep their mouths shut. Only an idiot would want to be embarrassed in public, and these people are opening themselves up for some serious embarrassment. This kind of talk has NO place in the work place. Let it be known and stick to your guns.
2007-01-29 14:56:15 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
just drop little hints... it would be awkward "coming out" to them after all this time- it would make you look ashamed. But if you drop hints and let them come to their own conclusions, then it will be better.
Example:
Co-Worker: He's so fine! You should get his number!
You: He's not exactly my type...
2007-01-29 15:42:30 · answer #5 · answered by Josh T 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋