Last question today: why would someone say that you never spend time with me?

Question

Given: you spend all your time with them except for work, and cleaning/gorceries, and getting to the gym occasionally, and in the evenings when they get home..and with their friends at least once a week, and at a restaurant once or twice a week....and they decline running any of the errands you have to do. (like food for the table).

What are they really asking for?

BJ is a good thought. I could try that..but it seems to be more than sex...any more thoughts.

I spend all my time with him. That is the point. The sex is frequent. The time is endless..still it isn't enough. why?

Answer 1

Why are you asking us?

On a more serious note, it is evidence of a communication issue. Perhaps he cannot voice what he really wants.

Why not ask him what HE means by this.

Or ask in another way, ask him to describe the perfect day. I suspect it's more about HOW you spend time together. Like you are not doing things he likes.

So sure, you are together. But if he wants to ride motorcycles with you on a bike next to him, or holding on to his waist as you cruise together, he may not think of this as spending time together.

Maybe this is code for he wants more sex.

Who knows?

Ask him what he would call his perfect day, or how he envisions spending time with you.

Answer 2

It's simple. It's called low self-esteem and insecurity. He's insecure in your relationship and feels very needy. No matter how much time you spend together, he does not feel satisfied. This requires a therapist to work out. Ask him to talk to a therapist or go to couples counseling. This will work wonders if you both give it an honest chance and work hard to understand what his underlying issues are. Most often, it's a result of childhood abandonment issues. Read "The Black Swan", a great book on childhood abandonment.

Answer 3

For some Alone time, quality time. You know not really doing ANYTHING except watching TV together or sitting down having a cup of tea or coffee and just talking JUST THE TWO OF YOU. They want to be alone in a private setting with JUST YOU.

Answer 4

They are not satisfied with the current situation and don't know how to communicate what they really want from you. There is a difference between time and quality time. But you won't know what they really want unless they figure it out and tell you. Some people are just afraid to say what they really mean, afraid of hurting your feelings or afraid that they are asking for too much, or that you won't want to do what they want, like they aren't really worth it or something. (Or, they just don't know what they want). If you really care about this person, try to coax it out of them, gently. Good luck.

Answer 5

Sometimes men are babies that like to be pampered dispite all the time you give them. Sometimes its not even about the time, its sex related, he may feel like hes not getting enough. It can be a number of factors who knows what goes on in their minds sometimes. The only solution is communcation. Try to find out what exactly it is that he needs and provide it for him if you choose to do so.

Answer 6

I think that they must be VERY high maintenance or want you to feel guilty for whatever reason. Hm...this is a hard question, and the person that said this is obviously a bit ignorant. Maybe they're looking for more affection from you, or want you to relax a bit more at home instead of constantly running around everywhere.

You should've asked them for more details on why they felt that way.

Answer 7

If you have a big tub. Put some warm water with oil and both of you take a bath. Maybe he wants time like that. Or if you don't have a big tub. Go to the beach at night just you two. Or have a picnic. Things are just you and him.

Answer 8

Perhaps it's not quality time. You may spend "time" together but there is more to just being in someone's presence and really devoting your time to them when you are together

Answer 9

BJ