Husbands - witholding sex ?

Question

I am at my wits end. I am desperate to find ways to get my husbands attetion about how serious I am regarding his cleanliness around the house. We both work full time but he will not voulntarily help around the house. I have to demand, ask nicely, plead, nag etc. until I give up. He says he'll do it but never does. I do 99% of the housework and work full time. I've tried not doing it and he is fine with living in a mess so it makes no difference to him. I don't want to withhold sex what else can I do to get his attention ?

Answer 1

Easy. Hire a maid. If he complains about the cost, tell him until he starts to help out, that's just the way it is going to be. Yep, that oughta do it. Either way, you get some relief.

Answer 2

I used to work full-time also, and would become very P.O.'d when hubby never helped out around the house. I tried the whole "housekeeping strike" and it always backfired on me. He, like yours, just let things pile up and then I was eventually stuck with an even bigger mess than before. Frustrating.

Fortunately for me, I was able to become a stay-at-home mom once we had kids, so it's no longer an issue. I feel that since I don't work, it is my responsibility to keep the house clean. Granted, it's not perfect, but at least there is no longer a question about who's "job" it is anymore.

Well, my point is... even if you don't want to become a stay-at-home housewife, you can bluff about it. Tell him that you have HAD IT and that you are EXHAUSTED, and you cannot be expected to work full-time only to come home to another full-time job cleaning up after him while he sits on his @ss all day. Say it's not fair and unless things change, you will be forced to leave your job to take care of the house. That might shake him up a little bit!

But be careful, it could backfire if it turns out that he loves the idea and you really don't want to leave your job. Only you know your situation, so take my advice with a grain of salt.

Answer 3

I'll be honest, the only that is going to work is if you pack up and move out. Make a big deal about being sick of doing all the work and living in his mess and then storm out. Anything else you say, he'll call your bluff. You could call his back and go ahead and quit your job, but that's not really benefiting you and he knows that. Don't with hold sex because that may push him to look else where for companionship and that will open up and whole nother can of worms.

Answer 4

I know this is going to sound gross, but stop cleaning anything. His cloths, dishes, toilet, etc. Don't do anything at all and start stopping and getting you and the children somerthing to eat on the way home, (If you have kids) and make sure you are finished eating before he comes home. When he starts having trouble finding a clean glass to drink from or a clean pair of underwear or socks, then look at him and say, well if you can live like a pig, so can I. Tell him when he can get off his A*S and help you around the house like he promissed so many times then you will start cooking again and washing cloths and such. If you mean anything to him this will get his attention. If it doesn't work, take your belongings and leave him. You appartantly don't mean anything to him any way. Good Luck!

Answer 5

Treat him like a child. Remove the things he loves, such as the tv till he does some work. Its not hard, just unplug the cord from the outlet and the tv and hide it. I had to do this with the VERY FIRST guy I lived with. He wouldnt get off of the computer. So I stole the computer cord till he did something else. He was pissed at first, but then realized how very serious I was and to what extent I would go if he didnt straighten up. Good luck

Answer 6

I have lived this for years and I believe holding your sex life hostage is not the answer. Why deny yourself something good in the marriage and adding another problem to the pile. You need to decide if you are willing to carry on doing the best that you can and not worry about what you don't get to or carry on nagging until you are too tired to stay. Try reading John Gray's Men are from Mars Women are from Venus. I don't buy all of it but it does have some good ways to talk to your man and get results. It works if you do what he says.

Answer 7

Don't with hold sex, it will only create bigger problems. Seems like a control issue to me. There are lots of women who do all the housework, work full time, and raise kids all while the husband does his 40 hours a week and nothing else. I don't condone it, but it's the way it is a lot of times. Accept it or move on.

Answer 8

Move out. No, I'm serious: he WILL NOT change. He never grew up, and altho withholding sex might get his attention for a couple days, he will quickly revert to type once he gets his pebbles off again. Find yourself a real man - one with boulder-sized ones who aint' afraid to help around the house. Better still - a nicely hung one who likes to cook!

Answer 9

If you find out, Let me know cuz I am dealing with the exact same thing except my husband sits at home all day doing nothing. I went 2 months standing my ground and he barlay did a thing. he would just wash enough dishes to eat and then throw them back in the sink and leave them. I tried everything.. he did clean one time though... but it wasn't out of the goodness of his heart or to help me out or anything like that, It was sole cuz I bribed that I wouldn't ***** about his friends coming over and that we could go out to eat with them too and they could do whatever if he cleaned the car and apt. even then he did it half *** and just threw everything in to the bed room and hardly touched the car.

Answer 10

Is there an area(s) of the house that is specifically yours? If so keep it clean and let him clean the other area, to help put the pressure on invite some friends over and when they ask about or look at the house just say it was your husbands week to clean the area. Peer pressure works great sometimes...