How do you know your marriage is over?

Question

I'ved only been married at least 5yrs. I know we may still have a lot to conquer. But, you know when your dating everything is beautifull. Once married, the kids and responsibilities come about. I weight 129 when i got married. I now weight 170lbs. Im 5'4 normal. The only thing is this excess baggage from 2 kids and big arms. I'ved tried everything. Pill, diets, gym subscription, not eating. I would only drop to 155 no more no less. Of course my husband remained the same and always complains to me about it...Do something, stop eating, your going to eat all of that. I dont know what to do. I feel as if he no longer loves me. Anything at this point i will try to get back to at least a 135. Anything can help?

Answer 1

The judge stamps your divorce decree as final, and files it with the county registrar, then and only then is your marriage over.

On the other hand, just because he is frustrated with your weight, you cannot take that as evidence that he doesn't love you.

Men are very different from women. We can compartmentalize. So we can say, I am bothered by your weight, yet I still love you. Those are in two seperate compartments.

Women seem to have a difficult time with this because they typically don't compartmentalize.

So, even when the guy says what I've described above, the woman, not being able to do this herself, rejects what the man says and applies her own interpretation.

So, just because you feel he doesn't love you, that certainly doesn't make it true.

Why not ask him to explain to you how you can recognize that he loves you. That way, you will know for sure, instead of just going on a fuzzy, and often incorrect feeling.

Answer 2

Do not base your marriage on your weight. If you would walk vigorously for at least a half an hour daily and watched the things you put into your mouth you could drop some serious pounds. Have you ever tried weight watchers? You can almost eat anything you want so don't tell me and others you've tried everything. The truth is you have a slow metabolism that you must speed up even if that means walking two half hour segments daily (everyday). Have you seen a nutrition specialist? Good luck and try a little harder!

Answer 3

A marriage is NEVER over, its up to you to keep it strong or just give up. Yes, problems roll in and obstacles get in the way, but ever couple must face these problems to make a true marriage work. The problem is that most Americans today give up and get divorce.

Now, if they weight is your problem 155 is not a bad start. I would stop with the diet pills cause those are just bad for your internal body. Continue to diet and consider getting a personal trainer to reach those hard spots (like your arms) Within time you will be back to your 135 again.

It takes time, both a healthy marriage and weight loss. Dont give up, you can do it!!!

Answer 4

Well u know ur marriage is over when there is no communication, no affection, no sex and no more love. All u have 2 do is lose some weight. I am pretty much sure ur husband loves u but he doesn't want 2 see u get like really fat. Y don't u try the Atkins diet u can get info. on the computer or buy the book.

Answer 5

Hi,
Well, when I got married and started cooking I packed on some weight. The more I thought about it the more depressed I got. What I did was started hitting the gym and walking in the park with my husband in the evening. The walks are best, we get a chance to talk and gives us excercise. I also tosseed out all the junk food and stocked up on healthy good tasting fresh food. I saved the splurges for the weekend. I lost 50 pounds.
Going to the gym also gives me other people to talk to and relate to.
Sitting feeling sorry for myself did not help at all and I will tell you I was sad, crying and it put stress on my marriage - he was the easist and most convienent to blame.
All I can say is get up, get out and make a list of all the good things you have in your life! It truely helps out :)
Good luck!!!!

Answer 6

If your husband is complaining, your marriage is not over. Your husband like most men want you to love him, HOW OFTEN DO YOU TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM? What do you do to say "I love you"? Does he know you are doing things because you love him? These are things from a male point of view we have no clue unless we are told.

Your weight, the more you pay attention to it is seen as self interest. Your children may be seen the same way, your house (home), men do not see themselves as attach to anything except their children. And that ends when the child is of legal age. Only by being told, and understanding that an action is because of someones love for us are we able to understand our importance to our community. Learn to shear the love, you have in a way your husband can understand.

Answer 7

The details of your question do not match the title.
Do you think your marriage would be over because you are too heavy? Or is the issue around coping with the responsibilities and the stress etc? I am not quite sure this is all clear in your own mind. Maybe this is where you want to start: clarify exactly what the issue is. Good luck.

Answer 8

youshouldnt have to lose weight to make yourself feel like he still loves you.i he cant except it then, you should make yourself happy.with kids it is going to happen, and of course you cant have fun allthe time like you used to, however maybe take one day out of the week where it is just the two of you, and you should see some better results.rekindle the love you first felt for eachother.mariage is hard cause you both have to workm on it everyday.i wish you luck, and justremember do not become a person someone else wants you to be

Answer 9

You have to want to loose the weight for yourself - no one else. Weight Watchers I feel is the best program for weight loss. I had tried everything even if was something that sounded to stupid to loose weight. Nothing worked until weight watchers. I lost 67 lbs now since July 2005 and have maintained my weight since last April

Answer 10

If your entire marriage is dependent on your wieght issues then I would say there are bigger problems that you need to face. No way in hell should a marriage depend on ones weight! And if you feel you need to lose weight to save your marriage I say try a diet of self esteem! I'm sure he has changed as well, people change emotionally as well as physically.