I wrote this poem, so could you guys read it and see if it is ok.
Thanks!!!!
(PS. first time i've written poetry so dont blame me if its crap)
I think of you each morning,
And dream of you each night,
There is no-one I more desire,
With endless beauty and a soul of fire,
Never have I fallen,
Down this path before,
I am blinded by your love,
And desperately want more,
I don’t know what to do,
Since I have never felt this way,
You are in someone else’s heart,
That will never be given away,
Even though you can never be mine,
I will always love you till the end of time.
2007-01-29 05:56:47 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
its not bad for a first go
2007-01-29 06:01:08 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Sounds really good for a first time - but remember that you don't always have to rhyme in poetry... Poetry is the expression of the soul, so just write your heart out in verses.
2007-01-29 14:09:24 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Yikes. It's scary. It sounds like you've lost your mind and are going the stalker-route.
If this person can never be yours, why are you writing her desperately pathetic love poems promising her never ending love? I don't think her man is going to appreciate this.
2007-01-29 14:06:54 · answer #3 · answered by Violet Pearl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sentiment fine, structure "naive".
Not a bad attempt for a first go - rhyming couplets are not always compulsory
2007-01-29 15:39:01 · answer #4 · answered by Modern Major General 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Schweet man! Keep on going, as plenty of women love it when a man can write peotry!
2007-01-29 14:08:49 · answer #5 · answered by MM 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sweet, you trying this out on us before it gets written in someones valentines card?
2007-01-29 14:02:50 · answer #6 · answered by fairyb04 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Looks alright to me
2007-01-29 14:06:49 · answer #7 · answered by Bruce P 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Beautiful! It has great detail and touches my heart.
2007-01-30 00:05:49 · answer #8 · answered by spoiled 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Shite man that is.
Bloody crap.
Only joking, do you mind if i steel it, i can tell my wife i wrote it for her.
Cool
2007-01-29 14:03:20 · answer #9 · answered by ROBSTER 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Good attempt.
2007-01-29 14:15:16 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Very very nice , you have a way with words , gosh
2007-01-29 14:01:46 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋