How much is it going to hurt?

Question

I am engaged right now and my boyfriend and I plan on waiting until we are married to have sex. The thing is, I'm already starting to get a little scared. He knows it will be my first time and I have no doubt that he will be gentle but I guess I just wanna get some idea of what to expect. How much would you say it is going to hurt? I haver heard that some girls bleed. If this happens to me, how much do you normally bleed?

Answer 1

I applaud your commitment to refrain until marriage! It is normal to bleed some and unless you are a hemophiliac, or bleeder, it won't be much. What you may not know is that this bleeding is a sign of the marriage BLOOD covenant! Like Christ on the cross made a covenant with who so ever would accept Him, your promises to each other is a blood covenant... The only other blood covenant mentioned in the Bible, except Christ's! It could take several days of preparation or one night! What do I mean about that much time variance? Some guys are BIG and some are not. So he must know how he compares to others and I am sure he knows this.. You could consult with a female Doctor for information, but it would not be a good thing for her to break your hyman. It is your husbands to break for the blood covenant.. He is waiting? He must surely be commited for, and to you, and maybe God too? Remember this: With Christ in both your lives, you have a three strong cord! May God bless your marriage in His name! Earl

Answer 2

Congratulations on your engagement and your wedding. The nervousness you feel right now about your "first time" is completely normal. Everyone has been through it, and everyone has realized that there's really not much to worry about. I know a lot of people say it hurts like hell and your going to bleed like crazy and probably scream and cry. BUT... This isn't the case all the time. If you and your husband take it slowly, then it will still hurt, but not as much as you expect. Your first time doesn't have to be the way it is on TV, where there are candles and you do it, and both of you are happy in the end. Especially being a girl, it is a very hard thing to deal with. My advice to you is to ask your husband if he's okay with taking it a little slowly. I'm going to be very frank here, try to ask him if he can use his finger first. This will give you a rough idea of how much it will or won't hurt you but most likely, it will hurt a little. By the way, not everyone bleeds, some do and some don't. But don't worry, it is normal because it's possible that your hymen has broken and is bleeding. Good luck,

Answer 3

First of all, let me say congratulations on your upcoming marriage, and the fact that you have waited to have sex with someone you plan to spend the rest of your life with. Not many people do that nowadays. Now as for the pain the first time you have sex, if your husband takes the time to make your body ready to accommodate him, the pain is much less. Although most women do bleed when the hymen is broken, the pain is usually a sharp pain, that usually dulls quickly and in most cases will almost disappear completely in a few minutes. The blood should be very minimum, nothing like a period of anything, you may have to use a panty liner for a couple of days for any spotting that will occur. Although every woman's experience differs, this is a wonderful gift you are giving your husband as well as yourself, try not to be afraid, that will just make you more tense when the time comes and possibly add to your discomfort. I wish you luck, and both of you a long and happy life together. Good Luck!!!

Answer 4

Honestly, it doesn't hurt much but that also depends on what your soon to be husband is working with and how gent he plans to be. The bleeding portion isn't much usually. It is just a result of your hymen being broken. If you want to get an idea of what it will feel like: make a circle with your thumb and index finger and try inserting any item that makes a circle but is slightly bigger, this is an idea of the first insertion but after a while the pain will subside because your vaginal walls will began to stretch to fit the comforts of your husband. Just remember to stay calm and not think about the experience as pain but as a new memory that you will be creating with your husband. If it helps make sure he sets the mood: candles , music, a little champagne. These are little distractions to keep you calm and set on enjoying the experience.

Answer 5

Its honestly nothing to worry about. You might bleed but it will only be a very, very small amount; not like the flow of a period. The first time isnt going to be the best feeling in the world but it isnt an extremely painful thing like many females will lead you to believe. Its actually just more of a discomfort, not a pain. I was nervous my first time too but I was very surprised because it wasnt even close to what I thought it would be like. So dont stress out, it's not horrible, I promise.

Answer 6

The reason that you would bleed is because you are tearing. This is absolutely normal. Don't expect your first time to be awful but don't expcect it to be perfect either. You can always "experiment" with yourself first using "props" to try to create the feeling and possibly stretch a little. You will be married forever, and the first few months will be absolutely amazing with the two of you experimenting, it will get better each time. Have fun and good luck!

Answer 7

As long as you are relax and your fiance is gentle it shouldn't hurt too bad. There may be some bleeding... but it is very little and a majority of girls don't even bleed their first time. Don't be nervous at all.... it really isn't something you should worry about. :)

Answer 8

Chyances are if it is your first time it may be a little uncomfortable to start with. Make sure that you are properly lubricated, you may want to go buy some lube to be safe. It sounds like he already knows, but make sure you remind him to be gentle and take it slow. As long as you are lubed and go at a pace that you are comfortable with it should be fine.

It is common to bleed your first time, although not all women do. It won't be that much blood, but be prepared for it.

Congratulations and have fun!

Answer 9

When I was in your situation I had the same fear. It is somethign that has built up for so long and so much pressure on it. My experience was very gentle and not painful. You just n eed to be relaxed and trust your partner. Communicate with him. People say all kinds of things to get you scared when you have nothing to worry about. And congrats!

Answer 10

Bleeding occurs when the hymen is torn. A lot of women tear their hymens before they lose their virginity because of tampon use or sports.
As far as pain goes, it depends on the woman. If you are relaxed and your husband is gentle, there should be no pain.
Congrats on your engagement.