Hi, I know a friend who is an adult. He is 58, single, and has always lived with his mom. The lady died 2 years ago, and he spend his time making her poems, and talking always about his wonderful mama. My question is: Is he sick, gay or what? Is there something that could be done to help him? Thanks. I will welcome compasionate answers.
2007-01-29 05:35:45 · 19 answers · asked by bunny 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
I would wonder why he still lived at home with his mother but, maybe he writes those poems as a way to grieve. We don't all grieve in the same amount of time and maybe he isn't over her passing.
2007-01-29 05:40:43 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Um... It is a little weird that he was 58 and still living at home, but that doesn't make him insane. With the poem thing, maybe he is having troubles with letting her go. If he stayed at home as long as he has, maybe she means A LOT to him and he's having troubles coping with her death. He's not sick or gay. Just be a friend and try to be there for him and help him heal.
2007-01-29 13:40:54 · answer #2 · answered by S101908 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know it may seem odd but if he is 58 and lived with his mother all his life that is more than likely all that he has known, there dont sound like he is gay or sick but he may have a deep sadness for just loosing his mother 2 years to you may be a long time but for him it could be just like yesterday.
You said that he was a friend and that is all you can do to help him be there for him and try to understand him think if you were that old and had been with your mother for 56 years how you would feel.
I wish you the best of luck.
Best wishes to your friend too!!
2007-01-29 13:45:28 · answer #3 · answered by Robin t 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
He sounds a little bit stuck in the past, but to say he's mentally ill, I don't know. I'm mentally ill and I don't do things like that, not even when one of my parents, my grandmother and two of my friends died... all in the same timeframe.
But, it IS a little strange that at fifty-eight years old that he's always lived with his mother. Sigmund Freud would probably stem his present attitude to an attraction to his mother, but Freud was a quack, even though he's the father of modern psychology. But, as far as I know, he's right. You're just gonna have to be a friend and let him reminice and vent. If he starts behaving out of the ordinary, talking about suicide, or doing obsessive-compulsive things, then he may need institutionalization. Having been in the wacky-house myself, I can tell you it's not so bad. Maybe they could help him figure it all out. I dunno, this is the best advice I have. Sorry if it doesn't help.
2007-01-29 13:52:57 · answer #4 · answered by bloodline_down 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
That seems very strange. If nothing else it sounds like he is experiencing seperation anxiety, but he could have a mental illness. He probably needs some therapy, but at this point, at 58 years old, I don't know how much it would help. Does he have any family who you could express your concern to? Is he capable of caring for himself?
I wish I could be of more help, but I don't have enough information. If you are concerned about his well being, you could call APS (Adult Protection Services). They could go to the house and check on him. Does he work? Does he otherwise have a normal life?
HMMMMMMMM?? Good luck to you!
2007-01-29 13:45:20 · answer #5 · answered by Kailey 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
The guy lived with his mom all his life. Being sheltered like that is not good. You need to take him out of the house and have him focus on something else. Also, don't let him have all his mother's things out in the open. Stuff like that brings back memories of her. The man is 58, he needs to enjoy the rest of his life and find love.
2007-01-29 13:44:33 · answer #6 · answered by Isaac C 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It sounds as if he MAY be having some serious issues with accepting her death. He may have accepted it, but, not fully. Did he live with his mom because he wasn't able to make it on his own, like a mental disability of any kind?
I would get a hold of your local Health and Human service office and have them check up on him. Or talk to a crisis center if you have one in your town.
This way you can help him if he needs it and he won't be over looked, or fall through the cracks.
2007-01-29 13:42:06 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Poor guy. He's 58, and living with your mother for that long and then losing her has got to be very hard on him. But it does sound extremely unhealthy. Try and get him out and do some fun things with him. Explain to him your concern, maybe he'll want to talk about it with you.
2007-01-29 13:41:26 · answer #8 · answered by rose 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I am so proud of you standing by his side, he proppely needs more than you know. i think your frink is not grazy, he is in a major depporation and you will do him a big favor by takeing him to a doctor to get help, i know how he feels if was not for my deppration meds i will be sitting in my room with shads pulled down not answering the phone drinking cofee and smoking 2 packs of cig a day and wearing a size 0,and am 5'6 but now i weghit 135 ponds,please reach out to him do not let him go he is in a dangers spot.
2007-01-29 13:47:42 · answer #9 · answered by Dove4ever 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Sounds like he is still grieving his mothers death, maybe he needs a good friend, maybe he has some type of mental illness, that could explain why he has lived with his mother all these years instead of having his own life
2007-01-29 13:39:45 · answer #10 · answered by Stuck in the middle of nowhere 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋