You're the smile that I carry so often on my face,
I no longer fear being accepted, you're my precious embrace
With you there is no need to be afraid, for everything falls so perfectly in place,
You help me to relax, remind me that life isen't always a race.
You're the warmth within my heart,
I see the world like I never could before, as if everything is beautiful art,
With you there is no need to second guess, you have uncovered everything from the start,
You are my world, no one can compare, you're set apart.
You're my everything, my life, my love,
I see the things love truely consist of,
with you in my life I feel no temptation that I am not above,
You are in my thoughts, and in my dreams it's you I think of.
2007-01-29 05:33:08 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Arts & Humanities ➔ Philosophy
That is the most beautiful poem I have ever read. . . .
2007-01-29 05:40:32 · answer #1 · answered by Love United 6 · 0⤊ 2⤋
I really like it, I think it's very sweet and whoever you're writing it for will love it.
However, if I may offer some constructive criticism, sometimes while I was reading it I felt a little put off by the words you choose. It seems like you were too preoccupied to make the words rhyme rather than making the entire thing flow. I do really like it, but if you want my honest opinion, I would rewrite some of the lines and just think about what's in your heart rather than making all the words rhyme.
2007-01-29 17:33:45 · answer #2 · answered by Washed Up Top Soil 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's very sweet, but there is a mistype on the 4th line.. fix "isen't" to "isn't." I think your girlfriend/wife/fiance will love this when you write this on a really nice sheet of letter with flowers on it.
2007-01-29 13:41:20 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
way to go you are what it take to go far it,s the best i seen on the q.a so far.put it in a contest. you will likely win .but there is a lot of great poets out there so try to win .
2007-01-29 13:43:56 · answer #4 · answered by i,m here if you need to talk. 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It's good. Your point definitely comes across and makes it a good poem.
2007-01-29 13:41:07 · answer #5 · answered by Mister Farlay 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Good stuff Brother.
2007-01-29 13:43:02 · answer #6 · answered by Immortal Cordova 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
your daughter is lucky...now love your husband for her sake...it's a choice.
2007-01-29 14:07:27 · answer #7 · answered by someone 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think this has nothing to do with philosophy.
2007-01-29 13:42:29 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
you rhyme too much.
2007-01-29 14:23:05 · answer #9 · answered by Meeowf 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋