Why do so many people think physical discipline for children works? Did it really work for you?

Question

I agree with psychology and legal authorities that say physical discipline negatively affects children and sets the wrong example. I am amazed how many people disagree and believe it is the only way to get through to a child and to get them to behave...out of fear?

Answer 1

i think the right way to discipline a child is to give them an award for doing something right instead of hitting them...it has been proven to work better

Answer 2

My Mother had a tendency to go overboard, probably borderline abuse, with us kids. All that did was create resentment that stayed with me for a very long time. It also made me decide that things would be different with my kids. My son is 12 years old and I can honestly say that we resorted to spanking him only when what he had done was so severe that nothing in our discipline arsenal could get the point across that what he had done was wrong, nor prevent it from happening again. Needless to say, I can count on both hands how many times that was. At this point, we do not spank him or do anything physical, as we feel he is too old for that, and quite honestly he is such a good kid that it's really not necessary. I personally think what works for one kid, may not work for another. Ideally, each parent should decide what works best for their child, but unfortunately there are some parents out there that make the wrong decisions.

Answer 3

I don't disagree that it may have some negative impacts but there isn't any kind of punishment out there that doesn't.
We've stood our kids in the corner, done the time out thing, done the positve reinforcement for good things, done the rational talks, tried it all with some success from all of them.
Everyonce in a while my kids just seem to get stuck on a particular item where no amount of non-physical discipline seems to penetrate their mindset. Somehow a good spanking on the butt reconnects all those missing wires.
I may have recieved many spankings when I was little, but it was NEVER for the same thing twice you can bet on that. And no, I was never BEAT as a child.

Answer 4

I don't feel that it is the only way to get through to a child but I am not against it either. I think other ways should be tried first. But it depends on the child. Some children learn differently than others. But everything you do to discipline a child is out of some kind of fear, whether it be small or large. Fear of not getting their award if they are bad, fear of having priveledges taken away, or fear of getting a swat on the butt.

In regards to your second question "Did it really work for you?", I believe it did. I grew up getting spankings and it made me think twice before doing something bad again. I used to get spankings and everytime my mom would hit me on the butt, I would jump so she was constantly chasing me around the room to give me my spanking. So she decided to take me in the garage and have me hold onto a bar and take my spankings. She told me if I jumped or let go of the bar, I was going to get the belt across the face. But I never found out if she really would have because I never jumped and vary rarely got spanked after that. Once I got too old for spankings (because it didn't really phase me anymore), she resorted to hair and ear pulling. Anyway, I don't necessarily agree with the way she disciplined and I still think it was too harsh but I turned out just fine and have 2 kids of my own that are good the majority of the time but get a small swat on the butt every now and then if everything else fails. I would never resort to the garage treatment though. But yes, I do feel it worked for me. It reduced my spankings a lot.

Unfortunately, I think a lot of parents use physical punishment more out of frustration and anger than for discipline. Like with my mom, it probably made her more mad because she used to have to chase me around to spank me and keep me from jumping. But once the garage spankings started, it didn't last as long because I didn't go anywhere or jump so maybe she wasn't as frustrated. I think she did it more out of anger and frustration.

Answer 5

Well I believe corporal punishment is very effective at correcting bad behavior of most children most of the time. It's only been in the last 50 years or so that this nonsense about spanking harming a child has been popular. Does spanking work everytime on every child ? Of course not but then neither does any other form of punishment, it's simply a very effective option that law makers have no business what so ever gettting involved with. If they are to stupid to distinguish the difference between abuse and correcting a child then they need to step down from their office.
Was I spanked as a child, of course most normal children were at one time or another. Did it affect me in a negative manner, certainly not. This is just my personal observation but todays children are behaving worse then children in generations past because parents are to weak to punish their children properly when they misbehave.

Answer 6

It did actually work for me... But that's only because I already had a mature understanding of life from a young age and the discipline instilled a healthy fear in me that provided me with the caution that many children lack these days. Hence the whole "NO FEAR." logo you see on everything. no fear is dangerous... sometimes a sharp correction and a slap of perspective is worth the emotional scar it can leave.

The difference being... I was disciplined physically out of my parents frustration and anger... Never as a calm assertive necessary correction. Lots of parents correct out of anger. That leaves the scar but the understanding has got to come from somewhere inside the child. When you use physical discipline as a consequence to a negative action. It is rather appropriate and actually quite natural.

It is the intent and the extreme it can sometimes be taken to unnecessarily that makes it wrong.

I never had to hit my kids... They are smart like I was and my rage issues were delt with long before they were born. I rationalize with them because I realize that I am the smarter, more responsable one and I should know better and do. My parents were idiots with too many kids and not enough education of common sense... We were worksheets for their rage, that's all... The correction came out of fear but we all figured out the how and why in our own ways...No thanks to either of them or their poor examples.

Answer 7

Well back when kids got punished physically, they grew up to contribute to the world, respect other people, became gainfully employed, took care of their families, respected their elders, respected other people's property. They didn't think the world owed them a living, and everyone in it was here to serve them. Temper tantrums didn't work, unless of course you wanted a spanking. They actually had some values that didn't include text messaging or cell phones. A little fear can be healthy.

You take a good long look at the kids today and tell me something isn't very wrong.

Answer 8

It worked for me and my five older sisters, as well as 90% of the kids i grew up with. I can remember getting the belt twice, and yes i deserved it. Psychology in my opinion will not work. My ex-girlfriend and i split over the way her 7 year old daughter treated her. She used psychology, which she also has to use at school as she is a teacher as well. The b.s. she has to deal with at school is un-real...All because parents today are too afraid to give their kids a smack when they Miss-behave. Take a drive through a subdivision in your area and see what the kids are up to nowadays. Walking out in front of moving cars, vandalism, theft. All because of the lack of discipline.

Answer 9

What you believe and the actual proof is two different things...in the Fifties it was common for children to be afraid of their parents. (IE My dad will kill me if I....) Todays children do not see the parent as an authority figure, one to be feared if they do not do what is expected of them, so they try things and get into trouble (see the rapid rise in gangs, drug use among teens, teen pregnancy, delinquency, truancy, dropout rate ect...) Yes, I got my *** beat a couple of times from my parents...and it is a good attention getter. Yes I agree that it can be overused and abused and there are times it is inappropriate, but on the whole..the saying "spare the rod and spoil the child" is pretty accurate.

Answer 10

I think it works. But it must be done with a systematic and continue to change as ages changes.

Kid at young young age do not understand many concepts. The most basic instinct is pain, hungry and cold and hot. At the young age, you may want to discipine them physically ( Not overboard. What is overboard, it is a whole new subject ). That will send an image and message of what should not be done.

As the child grows older, it should change from physical to lecture and reasoning.

It is a step by step change of education. And eventually, physical discipline will be completely eliminated as the child grow up.

Answer 11

My parents used spankings on all four of us until we reached a certain age then we were grounded. It never affected any of us in a negative way but instead it taught us to respect our parents. I had two sons and with the one the only way he learned was to get a spanking, where as the other one all it took was to sit him in a chair for a while such as a time out and it worked for him. All kids are different and I think due to this they need to be corrected in different ways. ;o)