Once my girlfriend and I choose to start our family, I really would like for there to be a male presence in our childrens lives. Even though i am not attracted to men & dont wish to have a family with one, I am aware that men have many valuse that are appreciated in a childs life. My girlfriend is very hesitant to hire a male nanny (past emotional/abuse issues as a child), AND neither of us have many close male friends. What would you suggest?
2007-01-29 04:59:04 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
What's the difference between gay parents and heterosexual ones? Apart from in the bedroom, which children of gay or straight couples should not be exposed to? All parents work hard to protect, provide and nourish their children's lives.
If the concern is a lack of a female or male parent to balance the family structure, then let me set a challenge: write a list of all the traits and behaviours associated with being a woman and being a man. Then see if you can find even one person who conforms 100% to either list. They don't exist. Instead you'll find that the best parents have a good mix of traits that compliment each other's strengths and weaknesses and therefore set a good example to their children.
2007-02-01 09:35:28 · answer #1 · answered by How many questions can there be? 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I would say that perhaps your girlfriend should start dealing with her childhood issues so that you can have a male nanny. I mean a guy who job is nurturing children is probably a pretty safe bet to not be physically or emotionally abusive or her wouldn't be a nanny for very long, yes, no, no, yes?
You don't have to have a great number of male friends in your lives but at least a few would be nice and it sounds like you have that as you have said you don't have many which would imply at least some. So you are covered or get more.
2007-01-29 13:50:07 · answer #2 · answered by octopussy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you've looked at the research about differences between men and women with regards to child-rearing, and neither of you feels up to those roles (or you don't feel like splitting those roles), I'm not entirely sure. If either of you has a brother, an involved uncle could be good. Depending on how you end up having your family, another solution may present itself.
2007-01-30 22:11:45 · answer #3 · answered by Atropis 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well if you have a boy, you could try the big brothers association, My husband and I grew up with single mothers and his mother wanted a male role model for her kids and went with them, My husband and his big brother are still close today (from the age of 7-29) I had a step father that I am still close with but my brother (10 years younger) had no male role model ( both of us have issues with an emotionally distant mother) both my brother,husband and I had to deal with the fact that these "fathers" of ours did not want us, I had amazing female roll models to fallow(my first Bosses) they did more for my self esteem and character than My mother and my step father put together, I am successful because of them. My husband Is a good and decent man because of his, and my poor brother had no role model at all and he is struggling (jail, drugs). I truly believe that it is the quality of the roll model not the gender you as good caring mothers will be great roll models each teaching different and valid lessons. This is what I think is important!
2007-01-29 13:21:50 · answer #4 · answered by ponitail 55 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
A male role model is definetly a good idea. I would recommend a friend of the family. A male nanny is a good idea, but its understandable if shes not comfortable because of the past. You might just have to bring the baby around one of your parents (dad)
2007-01-29 13:05:44 · answer #5 · answered by sweet_treat101 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
My aunt wasn't gay, but she was divorced. She had a coach be a mentor for her son and involved men like that in his and his sister's lives. One is a doctor, one is a lawyer, and both have successful families of their own, so I would support that type of mentoring whole-heartedly. kids need to socialize and get along with both sexes, despite their parent's hangups. Your girlfriend may want to seek therapy prior to becoming a parent so she doesn't inflict unintentional damage on your child/children. Good luck.
2007-01-29 13:06:29 · answer #6 · answered by whereRyou? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My partner and I area raising our son together. He was concieved using a donor and does not have a father presence in his life. We are blessed with close uncles and grandfather. We have also made sure that we have men in his life whenever possible...his doctors, coaches, teachers....I know they will not be a "father" to him but I think it is important for him to see males in their roles as much as possible.
2007-01-29 22:30:10 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be VERY careful,IF you decide to hire a male nanny. I know some great ones,but,you know ,pediphiles,that kind of thing,you can never be too careful.
2007-01-29 13:15:16 · answer #8 · answered by dragonfly 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
is there something intrinsically male? oh like... socially constructed gender...
gender, yay, a system of human segregation used to justify unequal distribution of resources, etc.
did you know, there is no biological way to split the entire human species into two? not two sexes, not two genders.
But, we still have people perpetuating these idiotic, harmful notions of "biological" gender, and all the gender mores that go with those notions...
are you really ready to have a family and pass this stuff down to your kid(s)?
2007-01-29 13:34:19 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
If you don't have a brother, TRACER had a good idea, contact Big Brothers of America. Take Care
2007-01-29 13:35:13 · answer #10 · answered by cruisingalong 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋