What is the fair compromise here? Mind you, I will be the one who will be pregnant. She'a always had this dream of a huge family. I want to make her happy, but damn! 8 kids? AND....she really wants to start a family soon. She talks about babies all of the time & gets depressed from time to time because we dont have one. I would like to finish earning my degree and have a more stable income before becoming pregnarnt & starting our family together. That just makes more sense to me than having a baby now when we are 23 & 22, and live in a 1 bedrm apartmnt bringing in 2,500 a month! Am i being selfish?
2007-01-29 04:55:02 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
No. You know you are right. No babies at all until you guys agree on things anyway, okay? Get your degree. She is trying to use the babies to fix some problem. The stress from the babies will tweak whatever the under-lying issue is really going on and she will be even more unhappy. Find out what is really going on in her head before even thinking about starting a family. Yikes! I wouldn't bring a baby into your situation yet either. She has a need that she is not fulfilling that has zero to do with babies. I don't know what it is, but its not about the babies. Don't do it. It makes no sense at all. Make sure to use protection. People get tricked into being parents allt he time by unscrupulous, desparate (albeit sometimes well-meaning) significant others. Watch it.
2007-01-29 05:02:18 · answer #1 · answered by whereRyou? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are 'not' being selfish. Is she going to HELP YOU raise these kids, once YOU have them ?? The most important thing, before kids, is to get yourselves financially stable......especially for a 'big family'. Once you are stable, have a bigger home, and have the means, and 'time' for a family......then, you can start one. But by all means.... make sure she knows that this is YOUR BODY.... there NEEDS to be a compremise in how many kids YOU are willing to bare !!! There's always 'adoption', too. Maybe you two can settle on an 'inbetween' # of kids.... like i said, if you're gonna be the one carrying, .... this is "your body" ! Dont let anyone else tell 'you' what to do with it !
2007-01-29 13:03:16 · answer #2 · answered by JSSK 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that 5 is a reason number. .Meet in the middle, and who says you have to birth all 5. Whats wrong with adoption. You know you could have a house for $2,500 a month. Think about how much money you are wasting thats 30,000 a year you could be putting towards your house. I would say that getting your degree is important, and being financially stable is very important, but having a child is a blessing. And you learn to work around the hard times. You both have to be ready... Good luck!
2007-01-29 13:19:47 · answer #3 · answered by sweet_treat101 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I say you should adopt one, and you naturally birth 4. If you truly dont want 8, then you definitely should NOT have them. But i think 5 is a good compromise, and the adoption would be great. ALSO, no its not being selfish. You should bring shildren into the world when you are BOTH comfortable and have the funds to do so without struggling much.
2007-01-29 13:37:48 · answer #4 · answered by Raynebow_Diva 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
8 is crazy especially for your current financial state. Your partner has to really look at the reality of having even 3 kids cos you can't survive on 2,500 with so many kids. First of all, I think you and your partner should really discuss about your financial future and try to get a house together, then only can you think about kids.
2007-01-29 18:33:46 · answer #5 · answered by xander 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Absolutely not, I say ya'll are too young, but that is my opinion. If anything try for one first then wait a couple years. You both need to be financially ready along w/ a bigger place of residence to have a big family like that. Also you need to come to an agreement before even considering something like this.
2007-01-29 15:13:56 · answer #6 · answered by Noclue 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I bet a hundred bucks that after the first one, she'll change her mind! People who say they want so many are usually pretty uneducated about what WORK they really are. Kids are NOT all dress up & cutesie...they crap a lot, they puke on you, they say inappropriate things & embarrass you.....she'll see...it's not a bed of roses!
2007-01-29 13:01:50 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
No. you are being very responsible and smart. sick to your decision. tell her, youd love to have a big family... just in the future, when you can afford it
2007-01-29 13:05:29 · answer #8 · answered by thankgodformaryjane 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
amazing selfishness...
the world is over populated we are crowding one another and fighting wars over resources. i'm shocked and disturbed that there are people out there who are still planning on having more than one child or opting not to adopt if they want more than one..
2007-01-29 13:28:42 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋