What to do? (moody husband)?

Question

Ok, so he is getting meaner and more demanding despite a decent marriage. I am being understanding, tolerant, dealing with his issues. This morning was intolerable, I could keep working on helping him understand or just start recognizing that things aren't working.
He storms out of the house this morning. Saying mean things like I have changed and that I need medication when all I am doing is going to his dentist appointment with him because he doesn't want to go alone (he demanded it or he wouldn't go). (yes, I have lots of my own things to do including work). # hours later, he asks me to go to the DMV with him to do a title and acts like nothing happened. What is the deal? You can't be mean and then act like it is nothing....

Is this a different vision of what marriage is suppose to be or am I in a real mess?

By the way, I am educated, I own my house. This isnoot my dependency issue, it may be his...moving out is not the solution I don't think. We have been married too short of a time. I feel cornered. He is the one that has nothing to fall on...not me. I am trying to help him avoid a big mistake.

Answer 1

Ask yourself, in 10 years, will we have gone through problems and stayed together for love or the marriage? Someone told me that the worst thing you can do in your late years is regret. If you can't sleep at night or resolve an issue in two weeks, it is a personality issue. There are three rules in a marriage, respect, goals and admiration. Group counseling or invite a few friends out together to look at each others marriages. Talk about the evening with your husband and it will give you insight to how he thinks. Also, talk to your friends that have partnership marriages based on business goals not just the love aspect, sometimes friends pick up what both of you are doing wrong and offer advice to correct a negative situation. Psychologists offer positive and negative sanctions as rewards for behavior, since men are simple creatures, you have to be proactive and not reactive, so you can set adjust the outcome to be positive for both of you.

Answer 2

I just think many times in a marriage there is a lack of communication. men do not HEAR us. They speak a different language. If you say something to him, he is going to think you are blaming him. If he says something your going to take it as his being harsh. We both mean something totally different, we speak it as we meant it, but the other person is hearing something different. Men, if they mess up bad and apologize they want that to be the end of it. Not likely, the damage was done, they have to live with the consequences of their actions and they would rather pretend nothing happened. We hold onto things and never let go. Men pull us down emotionally. We try to make them feel emotion. The fact is they feel it, they do not express it the way we do. Men are a pain, they are complicated creatures. They like to have control of everything. Even if they do not like to admit it.
The key is to learn how to talk to each other so you can both understand what the other is saying. Don't do this when you are angry, hurt or upset. It never works when there is negative emotions floating around. Marriage is work and it takes patience and tolerance.
The most positive thing you can do is pray about it. Ask the Father to come into your relationship and help you. It is THE BEST thing you can do.

Answer 3

He may be having either physical or mental issues that he doesnt understand. He difintely has something going on, that is apparantly upsetting him. When was the last time he's had a physical? If it's been over a year, I'd see that he gets in to see his doc. Then I'd consider some communication between you both. Exposive then mild mood swings for seemingly no reason, is something to be speaking to his doc about.

Answer 4

No, this isn't a different version. It is normal. No marriage is easy, It's too totally different people trying to live in the same house. Be patient. I've been exactly where you are. Love is not a feeling, it's a commitment. You do what you feel is the right and kinder thing to do, and be the one to go the extra mile at times, and I promise he will notice it. Don't give up! It can work.

Answer 5

i can already tell your husband should not be an exceedingly stable dad. in spite of if he's moody concerning the being pregnant, that's no excuse to declare the failings he mentioned to you. it may be extra effective off for you and your toddler in case you moved decrease back on your place united states without him. i don't think of first time dads ever behave like that, until it fairly is a teenage being pregnant. in spite of in case you hate leaving, you're able to think of roughly what he mentioned to you, and how it would be in the experience that your toddler became into reported by way of him.

Answer 6

During our first year of dating, my now husband became moody and irrational in his thinking. It was discovered during a routine physical that he had thyroid problems. Since he started taking levoxyl, his moods have stabilized. There are a variety of physical and psychological disorders that could cause the mood swings you are talking about---but, they are definitely NOT normal. Have him see your family doctor. If there is nothing physicially wrong with him, insist that he get some kind of physchological evaluation. No matter what the root cause of his mood swings, he does not have the right to take it out on you.

Answer 7

Wow!!!! Well you can just keep trying to be supportive and see if eventually he comes around or you may wanna try counseling together (since I doubt he will go alone) and see if maybe there are any psychological issues that need assistance dealing with. Good Luck stay strong.

Answer 8

Wow! i'm sorry but he sounds a lot like this ex boyfriend I had many years ago. I ended up leaving him over it. He was very moody and emotional and used to get mad at me for different things and I coudln't figure out what to do to make him not mad because it was different things all the time.

I don't know what to suggest, except that you could let it roll off your back and totally ignore his moods. What I ended up doing (which helped me eventually leave my moody boyfriend) was I secretly taped him when he was mad at me. I still have the tapes somewhere, and listening to them now is really eye opening. I think the guy was crazy. His logic was so weird, it's like he just wanted someone to be mean to, there was NO logic to it.

Answer 9

U R in the same kinda marriage that I had...if he doesn't change soon...or try to get help, I would say leave him!!! It only gets worse from there!! It could be possible that he just has something bothering him right now. If he doesn't want to talk about it, there is nothing u can do for him. So just leave.

Answer 10

Men are like that. They can be very pissed off about something one minute and then act like everything is ok the next. They do this to avoid conversation. Just ignore him and go shopping, that will make both of you feel better. Men do not talk. Women need to talk. If he refuses, go shopping.