My friend got pulled over last night called me and in return told me to call one of our attorney friends that one of us knew. After pulling up his record today we saw he was being charged and had bench warrants for a multiple of things in two different counties. After getting a friend of mines to look over it she talked to her husband which is a attorney and he said he could clear it ALL up for 1000.00 before I got the call that this could be cleared up, I had one of the guys to leave a message for his wife cause she still does not know yet. My question is sence he was drunk when he called me instead of his wife. Should we tell her hes in jail and how much she has to have for one of our friends to get her out or should we come up with the money & get him out. We already are saying if she can't come up with it then we will get him out. Keep in mind this is a wife that does not know us well & he lies to her all the time about where he is.
2007-01-29 04:37:17 · 28 answers · asked by Diamondbch 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Well, there you have it. I think that even if he is out on bail he will be charged and might need to go to court for a hearing, so there is a chance she will find out anyway. You already left her the message and look, to be honest. He is the one that lied, you are just trying to help. So I think that now the priority is to get him out of jail, let him worry about his marriage.
2007-01-29 04:57:51 · answer #1 · answered by artist-oranit.com. 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he was drunk at the time and had multiple warrants out for his arrest, then bailing him out and having an attorney clear it all up would NOT help your friend or his wife. The best thing to do is absolutely nothing. I know this may seem harsh, but alcoholics won't get help until they bottom out. Your helping him avoid the consequences for his actions will only enable him to continue. If his previous charges also included drugs or alcohol, you may be contributing to keeping a drunk driver on the road. Do you really want that on your concience? I speak from experience, I'm a recovering alcoholic myself. When people stopped "helping" me and I was made to take responsibility for my own actions, I was forced to realize that alcohol was my problem.
2007-01-29 12:56:44 · answer #2 · answered by Mary W 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I will tell you one thing for sure - if you come up with money for bail and/or an attorney, consider it a gift. This guy is not responsible enough to be counted on to pay you back. In addition, it sounds as if he will have fines up the kazoo. Although it's a tough love way to go, it might be better to let him sit in jail. If he has several bench warrants, he has blown off a lot of court dates. He needs to see that his actions have consequences.
2007-01-29 12:54:56 · answer #3 · answered by Tricia R 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Since you are his friend the it would be a courtesy to in-
form his wife so she knows what is going on and maybe
she can help financially also, but if she does not have the
money then you would do it anyway. Who knows what is
between him and his wife, that is why you should contact
his wife before bailing him out of jail.
2007-01-29 21:31:06 · answer #4 · answered by RudiA 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's not your problem or responsibility to carry out his lies; it would just make you look like a liar too. Tell his wife, and let them work it out on their own. If they don't have the money, then you can help, but it will only make things worse for them in the long run if she doesn't find out now. She's not some long distant relative, she's his wife.
2007-01-29 12:45:04 · answer #5 · answered by blldglvr 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe this time you should tell him to call her. And also tell him that you have someone that can help but you need his wife to be involved, due to the fact that she needs to try to get at least some of the money to help. If you keep covering for him it will continue. He needs to grow up and his poor wife needs to know what can cause her even more financial problems if he doesn't get help.
2007-01-29 13:06:14 · answer #6 · answered by *queenfairy1*Antioch California 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Leave him there, and refer the wife to a good divorce attorney! If you put up the money for this guy, you're probably never going to see it again. You will however, probably see plenty of him hanging around, using your stuff and causing all sorts of trouble in your lives.
2007-01-29 12:45:10 · answer #7 · answered by kaylora 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let his wife handle it. He is not your responsibility. The reason why he called you instead of his wife is to avoid confrontation with her. And by all means, DO NOT give anyone the money to bail him out! He made his bed...he needs to lie in it. That's the only way he will grow up.
2007-01-29 12:49:37 · answer #8 · answered by Lila 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
jail is where he belongs right now, don't bail him out, that's just enabling him to do it again because he knows he has you to be responsible for him
Poor wife. She should know who her husband is and have the chance to decide whether or not he is worth staying with.
Being on your friend's side is sometimes the worst thing you can do.
Good luck with that guy, he's a mess.
2007-01-29 12:45:31 · answer #9 · answered by Liligirl 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As a wife I say tell her. She has a right to know. I think it lame to call your self a friend and not be honest. This should not be a question. Why do you think she don't have that right. She needs to move on and I hope you and your friend aren't married. No woman deserves jerks that are not honest with them!
2007-01-29 12:47:12 · answer #10 · answered by Christa B 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋