I'm only 15 and I want to ask my mom about geting on birth control but i'm afrid of what she will say.

Question

I've been dating my boyfried for almost 8 months, and if i ask my mother she will know that me and him are having sex. and I dont want her to not trust me anymore, our parents dont trust us all ready cuz they were both young when they had us, and they think that we are going to do the same thing. SO please help me, what should i do.

Answer 1

You already know the answer. When they were young they had you, and they think you are going to do the same.

Start giving her hints... like how you and your boyfriend are getting closer. Start asking her about how it felt when she was pregnant at an early age and had you. Ask her if she ever thought about abortion.

Things like that will give her enough hints to ask you herself. When she does asks you, tell her that it is very difficult to hold oneself, specially with all these so many dangers around. She will guide you to the best of options available.

Answer 2

You say your parents were both young when they had you -- unless they're living in a vacuum, they already have, at the very least, suspicions that you and your bf are intimate.
At 15, while still young, many of your peers are active as well and I imagine you don't want to feel like some kind of a nerd in their company and still being a virgin.
I can only suggest this, but if I were you, I would sit down and write a really honest letter to your mom, (address it to both mom and dad, but write as though you're speaking directly to your mom) -- explaining how you feel and just some general unanswered question you might have about intimacy and sex. She ought to want to answer the questions you ask, but may be shy about the subject herself; some folks really are. If you want to bring up the subject about birth control, I certainly think you should, especially since the horse is already out of the barn . Hopefully your mom will run interference with your dad and smooth the way to them both accepting your present status as a young adult who promises to behave "responsibly."
May I please, without sounding too forward, suggest that you and your bf make it your business _always_ to use both protection (condoms)...in addition to the birth control when you get it.
When you get the birth control, make sure you thoroughly read the package information on the product--there ARE contraindications and side effects to any medicine.
I did the letter writing to my daughter and spoke about drugs, drinking and sex.
My daughter cried when she read it and said that was the best help she could ever want.
You be the one to open the door to a candid conversation on such an important matter. Writing somehow is much easier than starting this conversation.
Good Luck, hon.

Answer 3

That's an easy one....Your going to have a real problem telling her your pregnant and I know she'll like that even less. Be smart and either tell her or get them from the Health Dept. in your area for free. They don't tell your parents. However I think you need to give her a little more credit considering she's been through it. She may even respect you more for telling her and feel you are being responsible. ;o) Secondly make sure you still have "HIM" use protection regardless. If you don't eventually you'll be telling your mother that you have one of the many STD's out there. Trust me on this one...I have 3 kids and would rather them ask me for birth control than have to deal with all the problems that come along with teen pregnancy. I wish you luck and to find a way to open up the doors of communication with your mom. Most of us just want the best for our kids and to spare them the same mistakes we made.

Answer 4

Wow, Samantha. You have just proven the wisdom of your parents' mistrust, as well as the unfortunate fact that too-young parents frequently become too-young grandparents.

You are 15. At most you and your boyfriend should be engaging in long make-out sessions with perhaps some 2nd base action. That's it. That you are having sex and simultaneously grappling with issues of birth control is very bad. Birth control should be established before you even get to sex.

Since you have already skipped ahead to sex (by the way, what do you have to look forward to now?) you had better make sure that you are using condoms consistently. You also need to talk to your mom. Since she also started having sex too young I bet she can offer you a lot more support than just a ride to the doctor's office (which is all you seem interested in).

If you are having trouble broaching the topic, start off slow. Ask her about her own experience with boys and sex in high school, and then segue into your own situation. A lot of times it's easier to talk about something difficult if you couch your inquiries in hypothetical situations, i.e., "My friend Kim has been having sex with her boyfriend and is scared to tell her mom she needs birth control."

However you do it, you do need to do it. Many people here seem to think that your mom already knows what's going on. I don't necessarily agree. Many parents become willfully ignorant of their kids misbehavior, hoping that ignoring it will cause it to go away. Your mom needs to know and you need the security and comfort that comes with being open with your mom.

Answer 5

You have already violated that trust, apparently she has right to not trust you or your boyfriend. You have done exactly what they didn't want you to do.

15 is much too young to be having sex! 15 is also much to young to be a parent. I am guessing that you aren't willing to stop having sex, so the next best thing to do is prevent becoming pregnant.

If you think you are old enough to be having sex, then grow up and talk to you mother about birth control. Of course your parents will be upset, and they have every reason to be, but, ask yourself what is worse, having an upset parent or being a teen mother?

PS - 15 is much too young to be engaging in sex. Unless you are willing to accept the byproducts of sex which is a CHILD, then you should NOT have sex!

Answer 6

Since I just posted a question about MY 15 year old and making an appointment for her to have her first gyn exam and discuss birth control options, I can tell you - as a mom - that if my daughter came to me, and asked me about birth control, I would be very relieved. Do I want her to have sex at 15? No - but I am not so old that I don't remember what it was like as a horny teenager, and I would rather have her protected than not. Go to your mom and tell her that you want to talk to her about something very important to you. Tell her that you want and need her to be there with you for this important time in your life. Tell her that you are confused and scared but that you want to do what is safe. There will be people out there who will be judgemental and tell you you should wait (I agree) but they are not the ones who will be supporting a baby you might end up having, so, their opinions are just that. If you know that you cannot, or will not, wait to have sex, then you MUST protect yourself, and not just from pregnancy. When I was a teenager, there was venereal disease, but not a disease that could kill you like there is now. You can tell your mom that you don't think you can wait to have sex and need her help to make sure you are safe and protected. It is what she has been doing (presumably) your whole life. Now is no different. I would never forgive myself is there was something I COULD have done to help my daughter, but didn't, all because of my own standards. I wish you (and my own daughter) would wait, but, I'd still rather you were safe than sorry. Your bf will not be around forever, trust me on this one, sweetie...but...your mom? Well, if she is anything like me, she will want to make sure you are safe. Talk to her. It is nowhere NEAR as difficult as having to tell her you are pregnant, or have contracted HIV. Being mature enough to have sex means you should also be mature enough to have this talk with your mom, even with a big knot in your stomach over it. Be strong and be brave and be smart. YOU CAN DO IT.

Answer 7

You need to tell your mom that you want to go on brith control. A mother feels more better knowing that their own daughter has trust in them to ask them such a powerful question at a young age. Since you are 15 that is a very young age to be having sex. Having a mother daughter bonding time is great and that is a way to have it. Yes, your mom might freak out and yell but just tell her mom I feel comfortable around you and I want you to trust me. Then tell her what you have to ask her. She will understand more only because she was young too. It suxs but you need to do it. She will be more hurt if you would hide it and then got pregnant. Good luck!

Answer 8

You could always say you want to get on the pill to regulate your period, which is why a lot of women start taking it. But I hope you do talk to your mother about it. I think she'd feel better if you were mature enough to go and talk to her instead of sneaking around. And who knows? Maybe she'd be happy that you're at least trying to be safe so you (hopefully) won't make the same mistake she did.

But since you didn't wait until you were older to have sex, a word of advice: Even once you do get on birth control, keep using condoms. The pill does not protect against HIV and other STDs. And I don't care how in love you are or how well you think you know your boyfriend, you really never know. So please protect yourself.

Answer 9

Firstly, you're too young to have sex.
That being said, just asking a question is a lot better than sneaking around (parents always figure it out). Be honest. Be open. But do not expect your parents to support this decision, after all, you're too young. Enjoy being young, sweetie.
If you're afraid to talk to even your MOM, who else can you talk to? A perfect stranger?
If you're afraid she'll physically hurt you, you shouldn't be living there to begin with.
Lastly, you do not need parental permission in a lot of places to go to Planned Parenthood. The nurses there can discuss your options about birth control.
Also, don't leave STD prevention out--it's as important as birth control.

Answer 10

Oh honey, that's the hardest part of being a maturing child. You aren't yet an adult, but you are no longer a child.

I would strongly urge you to reconsider having sexual relations at such an early age. But if you are positive that you are willing to accept the consequences of your actions (pregnancy, STDs, and HIV/AIDS will now be ever-present possibilities for you no matter what), then I urge you to talk to your Mom about this.

If you cannot speak with your Mom, or Aunt, or Grandmother, and absolutely want to have sex, then I urge you to schedule an appointment at your local Planned Parenthood. They will give you an OBGYN exam, counseling, and birth control.

Answer 11

Just approach your mother and tell her, that you are not currently having sex, but you think that in the future you may want to have it. And, you know the possibility of pregnancy and that you are not prepared for it, so you would like to start birth control. Tell her, that you are just trying to be responsible and do what you can, not to become pregnant. She should understand and be happy that you are concerned about pregnancy. Just be careful and even when you do start birth control still use a condom, birth control is not 100%.