why should i stay at a job that makes me a bad person?

Question

i hate my boss and my job no way i look at it makes it any better my boss tears into me for everything and anything weather my fault or responsibility. i have 3 kids and a husband when i get home i take it out on my family,i have a house pyment bills insurance car pymnts and daycare i cant afford not to work but finding a job is not looking good what do i do

Answer 1

As Hard as This Sounds - View it as an Opportunity
Not because it is (although it always is) but because how you view any situation has a very direct impact on how it affects you and how successful within it you are. It's not easy changing how you view it, I know, but if you can it pays dividends.

Your boss is jerk, and you won't stay there. This is a given. How big is the office? How many employees? Is there much contact with outside companies, clients etc? With employment, as with almost anything else, contacts are key. If there are others, from other departments, other companies who watch your interaction with your boss then how you handle your boss can pay dividends in other opportunities.

Acknowledge there are a limitless supply of people like your boss in the world. As long as you know you will eventually leave the situation, use him to learn. Learn how to control or mitigate him. Learn what triggers or shuts him down. Yes, learn to trigger his outbursts. If your boss has superiors in the company (I.E. he doesn't own it) then learning to trigger your boss’s irrational and emotional behavior can be very useful. Also, learning how his personality works and how to control it will be very useful knowledge in the future when you have to deal with others like him.

Your boss’s poor behavior is a weakness. His weakness. Learn to use it to control him, and you will feel enabled. More importantly, you will have developed a tool that will help you many more times in the future. If you can learn to trigger your bosses outbursts, trigger them when it is most obvious that you are innocent, in front of his superiors, then handle it with poise. This may seem nearly impossible but consider that because you know how to trigger his outbursts, you can literally engineer the specific situation when you will trigger it.

Pick something you know he will meet with superiors over. Insure your involvement is impeccable and precise. Spend extra time going above and beyond to insure that your contributions to the task or project are beyond question. Line up evidence to support that fact. Then watch for the opportunity. When in front of his superiors trigger his outburst and calmly and politely with respect reject his every blame with proof and candor.

If his superiors have half a brain they will notice you. If your superiors are intelligent they will realize exactly what you have done, and believe it or not, they will respect you for it. Why? Because you controlled your situation.

That's the concrete example of what you can do within the situation if you view it as an opportunity. Changing your perception of the situation is key, always. For instance, in your current situation you view yourself at the mercy of a boss who is a jerk. In the above example I painted a picture that shows you that you in fact have some control. Power and Control is ALWAYS two way in the work place. To the extent your boss has authority over you, he is responsible for you. The extent of his control over you, is the extent of your control over him. He may not realize that fact, but that only benefits you. Your boss is responsible to his superiors for everything you do. He needs your performance. The fact that he blames you for anything that happens tells me he is a dodger. Someone who takes responsibility for nothing but success. That is a weakness and a control point.

In the business environment it is the ability, and belief that you CAN control your environment and success that is the key to success and to rising in responsibility within the organization.

Response-ability
Response-ability makes the difference between being happy and challenged at work and rising quickly or feeling terrible and going nowhere. Response-ability is the acceptance that what ever the situation, regardless of your granted authority, you have the ability to respond and control how it impacts you. And you ALWAYS have the ability to respond to anything that impacts you. Remembering that, and learning how to respond empowers you. If you do not believe you have the ability to respond, you won't, and then literally, because you have given up your response-ability you have made yourself a victim.

With an approach of response-ability with your boss, he may still be a jerk, he may still blame you for everything, but at the end the day when you go home you won't feel like his punching bag. If approached as an opportunity to learn to control his weakness to your benefit you may actually look forward to going to work.

Now using your boss's weaknesses against him isn't the most positive way to approach things. But right now, it is a start. Once you have learned through experiential proof that you have response-ability you may actually come to the point where people like him do not hurt you. At that point you can use their weaknesses to HELP them. This is far more rewarding and liberating than the alternative. But it is also more complicated to learn. At this point, you need to realize you have control. That's enough to make a huge difference in emotions at the end of the day.

There’s allot more to all of this, but I hope this is enough to help you with your immediate situation. Remember, even though this is painful and daily. Even though it seems like half your world. This is but a moment in the space of your life. You will have many uncomfortable moments in your life. How you react to them, what you learn, and how you use them to grow changes every other uncomfortable moment in the future.

Best of luck

Answer 2

Well you sure don't wanna stay at a job that is making you unhappy and a mean person towards your family thats not worth it at all. On days off you should go apply at other places and once you get another job then put in your two week notice. I know finding another job is hard but it will happen just takes time. Good luck.

Answer 3

Dear Lady...sit down with your husband and discuss this situation ( I am sure he already has the idea something stinks) and manipulate this to where you have the opportunity to find another decent job. You have so much going on in your life I do not want to see you crash & burn......you have to be calculating and abit cold perhaps but you obviously cannot continue as you are now.

Answer 4

Life's to short not to have fun!!! You have to enjoy every second of your life!!! My wife and I quite our jobs and started an on-line travel business. We are currently looking to work with people that are sick and tired of there current financial and or day to day job. Visit our website, www.yourunlimitedtravel.com. View the on-line presentation, and contact us either by e-mail or phone with any questions.
We mentor all new team members.
Looking forward hearing from you!

Answer 5

this guy sounds like the worst boss imaginable, he lowers moral and probably efficiency. if hes being unfair on you then its not right. its not fair on your family to take it out on them but also not your fault. you should take up something to get your aggresion out like boxing or some sport it really helps :) and perhaps join a union, strenght in numbers!!!

:p

Answer 6

Yeah that must suck.
If i were you, I would keep looking for another job while dealing with this one untill I find a different one.
One thing you shouldn't do is stay at this job.
It's so not worth it.