Relationship Poll - Serious Question?

Question

I moved in with my best friend of 3 years about a year ago. we are now in a relationship and his lease is about to expire. We were going to buy a house together but I have decided to go back to school for my masters degree. With that being said while I am in school and after I receive my certificate in healthcare my earning potentional is not set in stone. I can support myself etc, but he feels that it is too risky of a business decision. He is going to put money down on the house and told me that i don't have to put money down however he wants to stay on the title solely until our relationship moves into that level and my career is stable. Do you think this is fair and should I consider moving in with him or getting my own place?

thank you for all of your responses. I want to add that right now i have 27K in savings so i have the ability to put money down on the house and i wanted to gain equity, that is the part that i am upset about also. yes i would be paying him rent each month and i would have a legal binding contract, but what kind of relationship is that? i am confused.

Answer 1

Doesn't matter who has the title - if you live together, you both own the house together; it's a law - seriously.

Answer 2

Two can live on almost the same amount as one can live on. It's a good idea but can it be done without breaking up? I wouldn't put a down payment on a home until you've scouted all of the possibilities and know where you're going to be working and even at that, will your work be stable enough that you want to stay there for the time it takes to pay off the home.

If you love him, stay with him and if he puts the DP on the house then go with it. It's a much better life when two people can make it work and it's best for the both of them.

Answer 3

Anytime property such as a house is involved you need
to think seriously before you get involved, since you and
him are not married yet there are many sticky situations
when two people are involved in a piece of property and
later the other one wants to back out for some reason or
another.
Stay educated and finish your schooling because that
will be nothing but good for you in the future, If you do
get involved in the house then get involved totally to where
you are put on the paperwork as part owner so if any-
thing would happen to the relationship later your name
would be on paper as proof that you are part owner,
If it would be better for you to live on your own then do
that as you need to make the right decision. Love is
un-conditional and if your other half has it then your
name should be on any and all paperwork dealing with
ownership of the house, as anytime money is passed
the person needs to know that his or her money is not
lost later.

Answer 4

I think, if you're not ready to take on the financial burden of house ownership, that's totally fine. If he's ready to buy a house, more power to him, he should proceed in doing so. Whether or not you two decide to keep living together have nothing to do with either one of you deciding to buy or not buy a house. Just do what feels right for your relationship, regardless of financial issues. Talk to him: if he's still interested in pursuing the relationship and living together - what difference does it make whether you rent elsewhere or live in his house? So, you would be paying rent to him - so what? It's only fair, being that you're not husband and wife. When I lived with my then-b/f, I wrote a check to him every month for rent and bills; it was never a problem. Now that we're married, everything is joint, and I don't have to write these checks anymore.

Answer 5

You didn't say if you were going to be paying him rent. If you are (and you probably should be) you will be contributing to the amount he's going to earn in equity. Are you ok with that?
I think it's a good idea to get out on your own and support yourself. It won't be easy but the lessons you learn and the independence you gain will only help you in your relationships. You sound like you have good goals so don't let them slip by. Try the independence route. It'll make you a better person.

Answer 6

If he is going to be paying for everything then I think that is fine. If you plan on paying some kind of rent, then just make sure that there is some kind of written legal document showing how much you pay a month. I don't think it is a big deal which of you two is on the title just as long as there is some kind of record of who is paying money and an agreement as to what happens if something happens.

Answer 7

Yes, I think that is fair. If I were him, that is exactly what I would do. Also, I think that you should continue to live with him, if you are happy in the relationship. At the point that you begin to put money into the mortgage, you should have your name on the loan and deed. This does not include your share of household expenses such as utilities, food and ect.

Answer 8

UH-OH.
Either you two are a couple and sharing a life or you're not.
If the house being both of yours comes down to your income potential instead of your relationship, there's a problem.

I assume there's more to this than your name on the title or not, yes? Check the legalities/responsibilities in your state before you do anything. Sounds to me like he's not real confident in your future if he's already trying to protect his assets.

I would really talk this out and negotiate a fair deal. Maybe this is where you find out who he really is and love him for it. Maybe you find out and leave him before its too late.

Good question. Hope it all works out. Congrats on going back to school and your continued success in healthcare.

Answer 9

I think it is fair. What if something happens and the relationship ends? You do not want to be tied to the house. If he is ready to own a home and you are not sure that you are ready, then by all means, step back and let him finance it and have sole ownership. Sounds to me like he still wants you to be with him, but he wants to carry the financial burdens at this time, until you are better equipped to help him out. Sounds like a good man with a good head on his shoulders to me.

Answer 10

It's fair what he is saying. He can probably only get the house in his name anyways if youre earning potential isn't going to be good. Move in with him, but eventually you will have to put the house in your name or get married to him otherwise if he dies you are out of the house that you lived in with him.

Answer 11

get your own place. first of all he has his own business plans and you have your business plans. do whatever you can to prevent pregnancy at all costs because once the baby arrives...YOUR life (not your partners) will cease and change. cease to exist as you know it and chane for the sake of the baby. you need to have your own job and your own source of income in this relationship. if you two haven't said your 'i do's' then there is no reason for you to move in with him. he has his own agenda for how he wants the relationship to go. what about you? what about what you want? how do you want it to go? he wants his name only to be on the title of the house...now with that being said if you chose to stay with him...you need to work and have enough saved so that you can live comfortably for at least three months. because should you two should ever separate...he can simply say 'get out my house since my name is on it.' and leave you wtih nothing. also...have your own account in your own name and don't share this acount numbers wtih him. that's your personal business (as i'm sure he has his).