Okay, my favorite cousin has been seperated from her husband for about 3-4 yrs. now and she has the burden of raising their 2 sons all by herself. If she gets $40 p/w from him it's like Christmas for her. They are now considering divorce, so her concern is that if he can't willingly provide for his children without a court order, how will her children view her after the court order is enforced and if he defaults and sent away to prison. If it fair for her to work 2&3 jobs just to keep roof over the kids heads while he dresses up and parties with other women. I really feel bad for her and help where I can, but he has to be made responsible for his seeds.
2007-01-29 04:01:02 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
If he gets sent to jail for being a dead-beat, it is not the mother's fault and the children should never think it is.
He should feel like scum for not supporting his kids.
She needs to let the court order deal with his stupidity on the support issue. It is not optional to make sure your kids have food, clothing, shelter, lunch money and their needs met. Why he would think $40 would do anything for two kids is beyond me.
The marriage is over, so sue him for support and get him and his stupid behavior away from the kids. He is does nothing but drag them down. Scum.
I am with you. File for child support enforcement sooner than later. He needs to get with the program and stop being selfish. His kids need him to step up to the plate.
Make sure she doesn't get pregnant again!
2007-01-29 04:07:10 · answer #1 · answered by whereRyou? 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, I would tell her not to worry about it. At all. THe court will issue a child support order. He will have to pay. If he doesn't pay, it will be awhile before they will enforce it via jail time. She will have to register with the child support enforcement agency. They will have to find him. (Not as easy as it sounds) She has been letting him do as he wishes for years now. She needs to get a backbone, file, and don't worry about what the kids think.. Child support is an obligation and she cannot change it (generally). SHe shouldn't discuss it with the kids, anyway.
2007-01-29 04:11:12 · answer #2 · answered by working mom of 3 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OK, so in my opinion it's like this...
This guy sounds like someone who doesn't want the responsibility of taking care of the children he helped to create. This makes him not a father or a dad, but a genetic donor. If she divorces him and the courts order child support, he WILL pay it or he goes to jail. Now any man that is worthy of being called a man, will have no problems with this and will do whatever it takes to support his children. And trust me on this, it'll be a lot worse than $40 bucks per week. In my state, it's roughly $380 per child per month. And they don't count being unemployed as being un-able to pay child support.
Most states will ensure that the Mother recieves the child support payments even if the genetic donor doesn't pay it. Then the state takes up the process of getting the genetic donor to pay up or they send him to prison. Therefore, his in-ablility to pay child support, or his lack of concern in paying it and all consequences thereof fall on his shoulders, not hers.
2007-01-29 04:16:52 · answer #3 · answered by genetic_traitor 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's a bad situation for all involved (obviously except for the deadbeat.) Maybe her kids will get mad and hate her for a minute. But they will understand that what she did she did for the best for them. She should keep pursuing child support. She didn't lay down and make them babies by herself and she shouldn't have to half kill herself to support them by herself either.
They probably won't just throw him in prison. He will be given chances to pay before they do that. Then if they do put him in there, it won't be for that long before they give him another chance. He's not making any money in prison and that is what they will be looking at.
Tell her to go, enforce that. Not for her but for the kids. THEY deserve it.
2007-02-01 15:12:51 · answer #4 · answered by Kiki 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She needs to take him to court for child support for the children and get the divorce from him... There is help out there for single moms financially and she may want to get a job as well... She may be also entitled to alimony as well. I wish her the best.
2007-01-29 04:18:41 · answer #5 · answered by Lady Hewitt 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yeah i would just cut him out of their life. that's what i did anyway, but that is a personal choice. i want absolutely nothing to do with my ex, so i am not filing for child support. but it sounds like she needs some help. so go ahead and do it, and when the kids hate her for it, all she has to do is say that he broke the law. it's a lot of money to raise kids, and it's both parents' responsibility. he needs to own up to it.
2007-01-29 04:20:33 · answer #6 · answered by pikachu 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
what goes around comes around for the dad.. and yea moms will do anything to provide for their children. It sounds like the kids are better off without him.
2007-01-29 04:06:13 · answer #7 · answered by pippy 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Her children should thank her. One of their parents is being the responsible one and it isn't their father. If he should be jailed for non child support payments, it's his own damn fault.
2007-01-29 04:10:28 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
sounds like she may need an order....as for the kids it is best for them to see there father (unless he is neglecting or hurting them) and she has to suck that up (i did)......the kids should know that she is trying her best to do the right thing for them and that it is a fathers responsibility to help them too.....as far as jail that's his choice not hers.....tell her not to feel guilty and that she should explain to them why he had to go (if he does and if they are old enough to understand).....he has to understand that they are his kids too.....good luck to her
2007-01-29 04:08:37 · answer #9 · answered by Rhylie and Paiyden 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
why do women think it's so important to have chitty man around. having NO MAN is better for your kids than piece of chit man...
2007-01-29 04:05:17 · answer #10 · answered by Tacyella 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋