Jealousy in relationships?

Question

How do you control jealousy in a relationship? When you are in a long term relationship and you are in love with each other. Even though there is security in the relashionship and you try not to let jealousy get over you, how do you control the feelings when they surface and be able to trust?

In a 7 year relationship, where there is love, but also arguments, like any other relationship, where things are changing career wise and other factors, new people in your life, which are bringing feelings of jealousy into the relationship. How do you control your emotions and thoughts before they destroy your relationship.

Thank you,

Answer 1

Jealousy comes from insecurity. The person that feels jealous is feeling left out or neglected (or has the perception of) because of the others new friends, job, etc. It's true even if they don't realize it themselves. Honest communication between the partners should assuage those feelings.

Answer 2

My husband and I both recently started new jobs. In his last job he would hang out with the receptionist behind my back and then lie to me about it, so now I have jealousy/trust issues. We have an open-door policy. That means, as soon as some negative thoughts come to mind - we discuss it. We don't ponder on it all day and let it blow up at home, we let each other know right then and there - hey this is what I am feeling, should I be? And the key is to be completely honest with each other. Jealousy is normal, to an extent. If it gets to the point where jealousy is controlling the relationship, then I would suggest couseling. The main thing with jealousy is communication and compromise. Both have to be willing to listen and explain equally without starting fights over feelings.

Answer 3

Hope this helps.. I had to deal with jealousy early on in my relationships. I decided It was me destroying what we had. not her I wanted her so much that I couldn't share her with any one else, 1st that strangles the relationship and chokes the fun out of what you can have. also it causes the other person to pull away because they don't want to be confined or controlled. The best I can say is jealousy comes from you if you are the one who's jealous and so as soon as you feel your insides tightening up and the emotion comes on you have to say (stop) i WILL NOT LET THIS EMOTION RUIN WHAT i WANT TO KEEP. Beyond that if your partner betrays you that's something they do wrong. Love them, support them, let them know your feelings and trust them. p.s a little controlled jealousy is OK sometimes they like to see they can pull your string. but don't let it go anywhere else. If you have as much success as I have you will be very happy with yourself, and be able to let your partner feel more happiness to be with you, than anyone they have known. that's how they will become yours forever.

Answer 4

Ask him where you are in his life. Ask him important questions about your relationship and see if his answers give you some emotional security. Usually when you have these feelings there may be a tad of justification. Communicate with each other and if you trust him then stop the jealousy, give him the benefit of the doubt. If not then you may have some real relationship issues. Talk about it .

Answer 5

Jealousy in a relationship is not good and leads to too many "bad"things.I would really ponder if this relationship is as loving and caring as you think.Sounds as though there could be a trust thing going on as well.Give this a lot of thought before it's too late and maybe try some counselling as a first measure.

Answer 6

if this is a first time jealousy then confront it, if not then you have a right to be jealous and separation might be the answer! you wont be happy if anyone of you in the relationship is jealous!

Answer 7

you move on