Is it awful to not attend my sister in law's shower when I live over 3 hours away and we are not close? She didn't come to my wedding shower even though it was held in the town where she lived so I didn't drive up to go to hers either. I am not offended and am not wanting to skip out on her shower to get her back or trying to get out of giving her a gift. I just simply don't want to take off work, I work on the weekends, and make the drive to go to it. I would rather do that to go up and spend time with my family. She didn't even give me a card for my wedding shower and I sent a card with a check in it for hers. Can't I just give her and my brother in law a baby gift in person next time I go up or is this really distasteful?
2007-01-29 03:58:22 · 8 answers · asked by Rhianna 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Don't know if it matters but she is not my husband's sister, she is my husband's brother's wife. If she was my husband's sister I think I would feel like I should go more whether we are closer or not.
2007-01-29 04:00:04 · update #1
Thanks for the answers. I don't believe she expects me or even wants me to come. My mother in law is the one who wants me there. Considering the circumstances I just don't see why I should have to go.
2007-01-29 04:16:08 · update #2
Just tell her you're very sorry, but you won't be able to make it. You can mail her a gift in time for the shower, or present it in person the next time you see them. It's perfectly reasonable and understandable that you put the needs of your family before hers.
2007-01-29 04:03:18 · answer #1 · answered by teresathegreat 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
There is nothing at all wrong with not attending the shower. If it would make you feel better, send a little card congratulating her on the new baby and leave it at that. I wouldn't go either if I were in you situation (if worse comes to worse, say you couldn't take off work).
2007-01-29 12:04:53 · answer #2 · answered by Summer 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Send her agift and make sure to go visit her after the baby is born and take a gift to her and the baby then.... Send her a card too.. Be kind to her and treat her the way you want to be treated and remember 2 wrongs do not make a right. Call her and wish her the best and apologize to her for not being able to make it that day.
2007-01-29 12:15:09 · answer #3 · answered by Lady Hewitt 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I really don't think it matters, alot of people didn't go to my shower, and like you they sent a card with money or they just gave me a present when they came to see me. Let me tell you something I once heard, "Don't make that person a priority, when to them you're only an option". Stop feeling guilty.
2007-01-29 12:07:52 · answer #4 · answered by MARJ213 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Be the bigger person and send her a gift over the mail. Send a pretty card in both your husband and your name. If she has no manners that doesn't mean that you don't.
Good luck
2007-01-29 12:04:57 · answer #5 · answered by Blunt 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't go if I were you. You don't have to bend over backwards to please every single person. If you're not close, she probably doesn't expect you to attend anyway, but didn't want to miss out on the gift and/or make you feel left out by not sending you an invitation. Send your congrats, and don't stress about it.
2007-01-29 12:07:20 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think it would be fine to send a card and then give a gift later when are able to visit.
2007-01-29 12:04:04 · answer #7 · answered by DL 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Honestly it sounds as if she wont mind if you arent there, so dont worry about formalities and stay at work. If it comes up in the future just tell them it was impossible to get out of work that day, and that you wish you could have been there!
2007-01-29 12:03:42 · answer #8 · answered by Jen 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋