What's the hardest part about being gay (for you)?

Question

For me, it's that if you're straight and attracted to someone, you can let them know and if they don't feel the same way, it's no big deal. If their friends find out, they all have a laugh together at your expense, and that's it. But if you're gay, and the other person turns out not to be, their friends humiliate the one you were attracted to, so that your affection causes them pain. Anyway, that's the world I grew up in. Is it something different now? Or, as usual, am I alone in this experience?

Mr. Ed: I love it!

I read you, Milkbone; that's why I put in the clarification and example!

I'm at my desk at work on my break, reading your answers and trying not to cry....and not succedding very well.

I'm at my desk at work on my break, reading your answers and trying not to cry....and not succeeding very well.

Answer 1

I'm not gay, but as I talked about that issue with my friends all over the word, the hardest part is to accept that. First you think that it's wrong and what your parents or friends will say about that. Well, the being "gay" have more stages then people know.
1. Am I or not .... > this stage is about guys that are not attractive, very shy or they can't approach girls from different causes and they think that as a way to solve the problem of being alone. - those are normal persons but being lonely for long time make you think that you're different ... so probably gay.
2. Those guys love sex, it doesn't matter who or what you are, as long as they can have someone to have fun. They look like normal guys and seeking for fun. They are not "true gays" but they never quit an opportunity.
3. Totally Gay - if one person from this type see a naked girl, with huge breasts and nice butt shaking all day in front of him nothing happens. Hi's a true "gay". He's attracted only by men and nothing else. For this kind of gay, that is natural, this is the only thing that counts and he'll find a true love only in a man. >>This is what I mean GAY <<

Now, I don't know which of these types of being gay you are, but I suggest you that you have to be honest and tell the one you love the truth. You'll probably lose some of your friends - but in this case if they care about you they'll never quit for your friendship . So be what you are and what you feel.

Answer 2

For me, I'd have to say its leading a double life (straight acting). The hardest is keeping my orientation from my parents. There is no likely scenario where I can come out to them. I'm the only kid as well. They have so much of hopes and dreams for me in the sense of having 'their own' grand kids and happy married life, the straight way.

In the culture we live in being gay is totally taboo-like. Friends come and go, but the parents are yours forever...

Your answer comes a close second. You are NOT alone in that experience.

Answer 3

The periods of feeling absolutely helpless to affect change. The fact that, even when someone ISN"T an ignorant ******, they still usually make a lot of small mistakes and need constant education, and sometimes I just don't feel like providing it. Even the best of people are still non-inclusive in their langauge, and they still tend to assume that everyone's straight unless they KNOW otherwise.

Answer 4

For its how I can start getting feelings for a cool friend that is straight...and not being able to share my emotions with them because you never know how they are going to react...I'm more then sure we all be in this area time and time again....Plus how some (NOT ALL) people in our life style are a bit super fiscal...I hate guys that just want to date me just to get into my pants. I want a guy that can make me feel nice have days we just cuddle or go to the club with out the drama....you know what I mean???

And I don't like guys to come up to me at clubs or walk by and say Dang your hot?? What do they think...just because they say I'm hot I'm going to jump all over them and let me take me home......I think Not! I know it sounds a bit superficial but really just commenting

Answer 5

the hardest part of being gay...ohhh...great Q ....let me think about it....
well i am gay for 6-7 years now and haven't found love..... or love didn't found me... it's hard for me to know that i am in love with a straight girl and that we can't be together...ever!!! it's hard to wake up every day , to see her in my classroom and knowing that i can't touch her, can't kiss her, can't talk to her about things... i am 17 and i really need a girl there for me... i don't know how it is to be in a relationship cuz never had one and that could help me alot.... choosing it's another problem 4 me..why is that?? cuz i love two girls at once and it's hard to make up my mind... one knows and the another on from my class doesn't .... i am more attracted by the one from my class... but S.(( the other one)) she has a thing too....
if i would say " well i am gay" my friends wouldn't be so gentle and helpful... i would loose lots of my friends... but friends come and go...
u said one thing i said many... sorry nice Q couldn't keep myself
bu bye....

Answer 6

The best way to avoid this is to make sure the person is gay beofre you let anyone know about your feelings.

Sounds like you are young and that you might not have a lot of opportunities to socalize with gay groups. If that is the case - then you kind of have to hold on for a while and wait until you can get out.

Answer 7

I agree totally with Raynebow Diva. It's very hard to get other people to look at 2 women together and take their relationship seriously. My girl and i have been together for almost a yr and we still get the constant stares, the rude comments from men.

Answer 8

Currently in my life the most difficulty I have is the assumption that I'm straight. It can lead to all sorts of awkward situations unless I make it understood. You'd think by this time in our society people would be more sensitive in assuming anything about someone they first meet.

I'm glad I'm gay though, straight people take too much for granted and I don't think they have as much fun as we do.

Answer 9

Its like this:

Being gay you are humiliated anyway, so you have to just live with it.

In rare cases people get past it and treat you like a human being.

Mostly only gay or bi people under 40 are able to do that.

Most gay people over 40 had it so hard they can't even accept themselves that well.

Answer 10

For me it's not being able to be on my Partner's insurance. We've been together for over 25 years and still we have no legal rights. If it weren't for power of legal and medical attourney her family or mine could come in at a time of crisis and take everything into their own hands. (That would be a vicious thought). Blessings, my Dear Ones.