Does anyone else have dreams about their ex?

Question

I still have occasional dreams about my ex-boyfriend...FROM HIGH SCHOOL! That was 14 years ago! I don't understand it. I am a happily married woman with wonderful children. I absolutely adore my husband. We are best friends and our sex life is very healthy!

But occasionally I have these dreams about my high school boyfriend, where he shows up in my life and all of a sudden all my feelings I had for him come back. Usually he has just divorced his wife or something and has just run into me somewhere. In the dream he really upsets me beause I want to be with him, but I don't want to ruin the happy life I have with my husband and kids.
Even when I wake up the old feelings still linger a little. Sometimes I want to cry--it feels like we just broke up again.

In my waking life, I would never want to get back together with this guy. We weren't right for each other, and if we would have stayed together, we would have probably gotten divorced.

Has this happened to anyone else? How can I stop having these dreams???

Answer 1

I've had these before, too, especially when I feel like there's something missing in my marriage, which isn't very often and nothing serious. Just like if my husband has been working crappy hours and we don't see him much or something like that. Then I wake up and I do think of some of the good times I had with the ex when we were together and wonder what he's up to these days, but I also think, "what a jerk, I need to go puke after dreaming of having feelings for him" and I get really happy that I am deep down happy with my husband, even though our marriage isn't perfect. Hey, none of them are. Don't worry about it. Have a laugh about it. I think you're normal. Actually, I think it's because maybe there is an aspect of that person (the ex) you did like and maybe don't see in your spouse. Everyone (well, almost everyone) has some good qualities even though they aren't right for you. Like my ex and I used to have a lot of fun hanging out together. We'd go to a bar for some beer in the afternoon or just take a nap together, and my husband and I don't get the chance for that kind of stuff. But it doesn't mean I'm not much happier with my husband than I ever would have been with the ex-jerk.

Answer 2

YES! I have dreams about my ex from highschool. Like you: It was 14 years ago; I don't quite understand it; and, when I wake up, the feelings remain.

I have always wondered if anyone else experienced the same thing that I have.

I could babble on to you about this forever. However, I will spare you for now. However, I will tell you that I think it is insulting for people to say that your dreams are a result of your relationship with your husband. That is ridiculous!

Answer 3

It is very common for people to dream about ex-partners. Individuals that have been an important part of our lives continue to take up a part of our mind and heart. It is impossible to very dramatically shut the person out of thoughts and feelings. Just because the relationship ends does not mean that all is finished. As we go through relationships we learn and at times pick up "battle wounds." You will continue to dream about your ex boyfriend until you "let go" of him on a very important level, or until you learned your lessons from that relationship. Either way, dreaming about your ex-romance does not predict future involvement. It may be wish-fulfillment, reliving memories, or working out old issues

Answer 4

Yes, I have before and It's weird because he works and lives around the corner from me, but that relationship was the worse one I've had in all my life. Now I'm married with two beautiful children. Dreams are only dreams and nothing else.

Answer 5

You need to stop thinking about him, I know what is happening now, when you had it for the first time it made you think of him more which makes the dreams come back, you need to decide for yourself that it was just a dream and move on. As long as you think about him and the dream, you keep your mind occupied with it and it makes your mind bring it into your head while you are asleep.

Answer 6

Dreams are all your subconscious feelings.You appearantly have some un resolved issues with your high school boyfriend.One thing that may help to stop these dreams is write a letter to him and say everything tha you ever wanted to say.Don't mail it just get it out on paper and more than likely your dreams will subside and stop completely.

Answer 7

I have had dreams about my first love, I am friends with him
now. We both dream about each other and wonder what
if. he is in Iraq, right now. we talk when he has the time.
yes the feelings are still there, I have try ed to hide them.
i had to move away, that is why we broke up. so what if is still
there. Asfar the dreams go, they are not hurting your husband.

Answer 8

it has happened to me a couple of time in one week or so and then i started thinking why am i having those dreams.. then i realised that we ended on a bad note and i felt i needed to tell him few things, i created a email account with a bogus name and sent him a really nice email saying sorry for the hurtful things i said and that I was a blast from his past, but prefer not to say who and asked not to bother writing back.. i never checked if i got an email back, but my dreams stopped there and then

Maybe there is something you need to get out!! think

Answer 9

You can't control what you dream. Sometimes dreams have hidden meanings, but they are usually just the result of random neurons firing.

Do you have any desire to be with your ex in your normal, everyday, waking life? If not, then I wouldn't worry about it.

Answer 10

Sure, we all do. Just remember why you broke up. Sometimes that is easy to forge,t and then you paint a really pretty picture of a guy who was probably a total jerk. If he was nice then that is great but you are thinking right when you are awake, forget him, let sleeping dogs lay, if you know what I mean.