im 12 weeks pregnant, my boyfriend is leaving for iraq?

Question

I am a little over 12 weeks pregnant, i havent gone to the doctor yet because i havent told either of my parents whom i live with and i just got cut off of my insurance. my boyfriend *the baby's father* is in the army and leaves for iraq in a few weeks for a year to a year and a half. any advice on how to tell my parents or what to do?

Answer 1

It's better to tell your parents now before he leaves than later when he's gone. They'll want to talk to you both, and they'll probably want to find out what your boyfriends intentions are. Whatever you do, don't marry him if you have any doubts over loving him.

Your parents can help out if you want to keep the baby, and you qualify for medicaide which will pay for everything during your pregnancy and up to six weeks after. It's through the state, and every state has it.

It won't be easy telling them but once it's done you'll feel better. They might be upset, and they might not agree with your choice, but if they love you then stand behind you no matter what.

I don't know what your situation is with your boyfriend, but make sure he knows that you will need help, that your child deserves two parents. Support each other through this, he's going to need it in Iraq, you're going to need it during the pregnancy.

Also, if you do keep the baby, because his or her father is in the army, she qualifies for his insurance as his dependent, but I think only after she or he is born. Look into the medicaide, it will help out a huge amount. Also, WIC will help out with buying food but more importantly formula which is extremely expensive, when you apply for the medicaide (if you do) ask about the WIC program.

Good luck, I know it's kind of scary and stressful but you will be fine.

Answer 2

As far as long term decisions go, a lot depends on how old you are and what your personal, emotional, and financial resources are, as well as what you and your boyfriend's intentions are. How does he feel about the baby? Is he willing to support the child while he's overseas and when he gets back? Does he want to marry you so that if (God forbid) something happens to him over there, you and the baby are on the record as his dependents for whatever benefits that may provide thru the military? Will your parents be happy for the two of you to marry, and support you emotionally and financially till the baby's father returns? Do you have a profession where you can support yourself, or are you still living at home because you are a young teenager?

If your boyfriend won't take responsibility for supporting you and his child, then you should talk with your parents about putting the baby up for adoption with a family who can love it and care for it.

As far as immediate decisions go, as soon as possible - before your boyfriend ships out - he should pay for you to go a doctor, confirm the pregnancy, and get you started on excellent prenatal care so that you and the baby will have the best health and the fewest complications possible during the pregnancy, labor, and delivery. Then right away you, your parents, and your boyfriend need to all talk together about who is going to be responsible for this new life and how. Get everybody communicating and a plan in place before he goes away.

Answer 3

Definitely tell your boyfriend if you haven't already because you may be able to get on his insurance through the military (not sure how that works) Also, tell your parents; if possible you and your boyfriend should tell them together, a baby is a happy event so it's okay to be excited and tell your parents about it. If you've been cut off from your insurance then you must at least be of adult age, and if you and your boyfriend are not serious about staying together, or are not sure about it, then you may have to go on public assistance for a short time for insurance, which is okay, that's what it's there for. Also if you are in college, you may be able to get healthcare through the school or they may be able to direct you to a program that can help you.

Answer 4

First of all, go to a doctor. Waiting any longer could harm you or the baby. If you don't have insurance, there are clinics that charge on a sliding scale, based on your income. The next thing you need to do is sit down with your boyfriend and your parents, and get this out in the open. The four of you can then decide how to handle the situation. Are you planning on getting married? If you do, you might qualify for his insurance. If you don't get married, you need to make arrangements for a portion of his salary to be sent to you, while he is away. Good luck.

Answer 5

First of all, it's very important that you get to a Dr. Baby's whose mothers have prenatal care for the whole pregnancy are healthier than those whose mothers don't. I'm not sure how old you are. One suggestion would be that you and your boyfriend get married if you are in love. The military provides good health insurance, plus you'll gain other privileges and have a place to stay, a good support system, stuff like that. His will also earn more money and get a housing allowance if he is married. Plus as a girlfriend you won't have as many rights as you would as his wife. Health care can be very expensive. If you don't get married then as soon as the baby is born your husband should get him/her registered with DEERS so the baby will at least have health care through the military. As for your parents, you are just going to have to bite the bullet and tell them. Your pregnancy can't be hidden forever, you'll need their support since your boyfriend is going to be gone so long, plus you'll need their financial contribution if your boyfriend isn't providing it for you. Good Luck to you, your baby and your boyfriend.

Answer 6

You're a big girl. If you're old enough to have sex you're old enough to act like an adult and take responsibility. Is your boyfriend onboard with this? Don't jump into marriage just for insurance. Too many military marriages end badly because someone felt they "Had to get married." Get on medicaid, its not bad at all. The baby will be automatically covered by Tricare once its born if the father claims it. Tell your parents asap. You'll need some help and support. Tell his parents as well. Maybe one of them can help you out with getting on medicaid. Otherwise, get on it yourself, NOW! Your baby shouldn't have to suffer because you can't bring yourself to tell. Best of luck.

Answer 7

First of all, you need to go to the DR ASAP!! You should be taking prenatel vitamins daily. If you are not on your parents ins anymore go to your public aid office and get on the medical card. You could even go to the DR now because public aid will back date 3 months ( I worked at my local hospital in patient accts for 3 years). If that is not an option then talk to your boyfriend- r u ready to get married? Military insurance is really good. Tell your parents with your bofriend. They may be happy for you-or they may just be there to help support you while your boyfriend is gone. Good Luck!!!

Answer 8

let your bf know, then the baby can be placed under tricare which is his insurance. I know its hard telling the parents but theyre gonna find out eventually right? All he would have to do is get you under a power of attorney that way you are able to go to the doctors and have the baby get taken care of while hes away!

Answer 9

yes they are absolutely correct. the baby will be covered under tricare BUT only after it is enrolled in DEERS which will have to wait until he comes back unless he gives youa power of attorney before he leaves. you however cannot be covered for the pregnancy unless you are married, The DOD changed that policy in 2002. your best bet will be to try to apply for medicare and WIC. Also you need to tell your parents now before he leaves so you arent alone. When he leaves it is gonna be very rough on you and you dont need the added stress while your pregnant.

Answer 10

If you are over 18 get medicaid and go get prenatal care. I would just tell your parents and find out before your boyfriend goes to Iraq what the due date is. I wish you the best of luck and I wish your boyfriend safe travels and will keep him in my thoughts.