ok i have no idea what to do, ok there a dude that i really like, and i'm guess he likes me well due to fact that we endind up kissin other week, (both sober) and well my feelings are kinda grownin for him like when ever i see him, my stomache does a back flip, but hes got a child, do i take the jump? or not?? bearing in mind i adore kids and i'd proberbly get attached which makes hings harder if we did get togeather and spit up... what can i do?
2007-01-29 02:45:12 · 39 answers · asked by Lescaa 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Unless he's a problem child, the child shouldn't be a problem.
Second relationships are perfectly normal, and not every step mother is a wicked one. In fact, I know a lot of happy relationships like that.
But it may be an idea to get better acquainted with the child before making any commitments. Just smooth into things slowly, maybe think about other children as well so you don't get too attached just yet.
Good luck.
2007-02-04 01:26:16 · answer #1 · answered by dude 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok well as a single mother i have the attitude that people go out with me for me and not because i have a child, they will be dating me not the child so i dont think it should matter if there are kids involved or not. i dont agree with letting the kids get attached to partners unless it is serious, my little boy is 7 and had never met a boyfriend of mine until recently i've been with this person a year + i know hes the one for me.
so anyway i guess my point is take the jump if you like this person enough the child probably wont become a factor until the relationship gets serious anyway and if you love him you'll love his child, just take things as they come and see what happens. good luck x
2007-01-29 02:52:52 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I thought i'd answer your question bcoz im a single mum an meeting new ppl can b hard. Wat i do when i meet someone new is keep my son completely separate to the relationship. I'd meet up in the evenings an dat way if something does go wrong early on you both can walk away without worrying. After all worrying about a new relationship is stressful enough without having to think about hurting a child. If he's a sensible guy thats what he'll do chick's!! Take the plunge and go 4 it!!Good luck x x x
2007-01-29 03:14:27 · answer #3 · answered by Dolly 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't want to let yourself in to a childs life if you think for any reason in the long run you will be trying to get out of the relationship. I think you should be friends with this guy a little longer and see where there are conflicting areas. Talk about all kinds of things first before you start a relationship...like.... how should I deal with a situation when your child isn't cooperating? you don't want to treat his kid in a way that is not acceptable to him. You should talk about when you will have time alone....will his child always be there? will you have time alone? what if he has his child for the one weekend you really wanted to go out? would it be okay if you went on your own...or would he be hurt if you left him home alone? talk about everything...I've seen kids destroyed from boyfriend and girlfriend relationships that could have been prevented. You need to be friends first.
2007-01-29 02:55:14 · answer #4 · answered by Addicted To This 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The older we get the more likely it is that we fall for someone with history and no doubt children of their own. You've only shared one kiss but it sounds like there is something starting to develop between you. If he's the man you want then you should go for it, his kid might be amazing, there is always going to be a risk that you grow attached to his child and then break up, its a risk you have to take if you think he's worth it. Try to relax, it early days yet!!
2007-01-29 03:30:17 · answer #5 · answered by keeley 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
this is so a good ? you need to look at the big picture is their any chance he might go back to the mother of this child? make sure their is no way they could ever reconcile before you jump. I do know of many successful relationships that have worked but you should think about this to is this so serious you would want to be this kids step mom think it through if it's really love it will work!!!!
2007-02-06 00:25:19 · answer #6 · answered by dirt77 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My advice to you would be to go for it! HOWEVER, wait until you guys have been dating for a little while to meet the child and start getting involved that way if it doesnt work out the child isnt confused and upset as well..be sure that things COULD go way further between you guys before getting involved..and explain to him once you guys are dating that you think this is the best option because you dont want to hurt the child..Good Luck
2007-01-29 02:49:12 · answer #7 · answered by Jessi 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You know what you are capable of. Bear in mind, however, the kid's attitude towards you can make all the difference and you have to think about if problems come up, who's side will the guy take, your's or the kid's.Think long and hard, okay?
2007-01-29 03:01:17 · answer #8 · answered by Tori M 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do what you want but know kids are emotional baggage and you can't ignore the fact that he has an attachment to another woman and always will. I personally would not touch that guy with a 10 foot pole.
2007-02-04 00:52:38 · answer #9 · answered by tania_d_ann 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's just one of the chances one takes in love. You can't start a relationship planning for "if we split up", because then it's almost doomed from the beginning. Go into it with an open mind, and an open heart. Remember, there are no "mistakes", only life's learning experiences.
2007-01-29 02:52:01 · answer #10 · answered by kj 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋