I've been with my boyfriend for a little while and i really love and care about him. He just told me that his ex girlfriend is pregnent. Shes about 5 to 6 months. when I heard this i was in complete shock. I didn't know what to say to him. I told him to talk to the girl about the right thing to do because they don't have the money to take care of this child. I didn't tell them to put it up for adoption, i just said to make a good decision that would make her, him and , the baby happy.
When he talks about it, I get a little angry and paranoid. I want to be happy for him, but mind is still a little angry and upset. I don't know what to do anymore. I won't leave him, because i care for him to much. I've never been in this situation in my life and im just confused. Plaese help me, im so confused .
2007-01-29 02:43:51 · 18 answers · asked by Britt 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
Just remember that when the baby comes,his attention is going to have to be more on them then you.If you guys are out on a date,and the baby's mom calls and the child is sick and they need him,once again you will be put on the back burner.Just think of the stuff like that,and if you think you can handle it and stick it through w/ him,then do so.
2007-01-29 02:50:07 · answer #1 · answered by molliehollie 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
How long is a little while? Is he excited about the baby or concerned? How is the mother taking it? There are a lot of details you are leaving out. You haven't really stated how you feel about this. You sound like you're paranoid that your boyfriend is going to leave you. You need to sit down and decide how you feel about all this. I think you and your boyfriend need to have a discussion as to what he and his ex are talking about doing as far as the baby goes (adoption, her keeping it, him keep ing it, whatever) and what he wants your role to be. Does he want to stay with you? If he wants you to be a part of his life, you at least need to be informed as to what is going on. Try not to get angry when he talks about the baby. This is an exciting time for him, teenager or not.
2007-01-29 02:53:52 · answer #2 · answered by Mommy 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You have to adapt to the situation, a baby changes everything. Since the baby is his, he's probably going to have a connection with his ex for the rest of his life through this baby. If you really care about him you have to accept this as part of his life. Blood relationship lasts forever, unless his ex decsides to put the baby up for an adoption, but that's their decision to make. If not, he'll have to pay child welfare for a good 18 years.
2007-01-29 03:00:42 · answer #3 · answered by 結縁 Heemei 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
you can't get angry because she was there before you. they have a baby on the way and if she's 5 to 6 months the only options they have are being parents & adoption. if he wants to be a father to this baby then your going to have to get past the anger and let him be apart of his child's life and that does include being around the mother of his child. if that's not something that your sure you can do then I would say move on. if you are constantly standing in the way eventually he'll get tired of it and move on.
2007-01-29 02:55:14 · answer #4 · answered by *~*Jon-Jon's Mommy!!*~* 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Arrrah! theres not a lot you can do at the end of the day aslong as you know he doesnt care for her anymore and loves you all you can say is 2 be there for his child! put yourself in the childs place you wouldnt want 2 grow up in conflict and without a dad!! so just be there for him! if not the only way is 2 get out now...but your choice!x
2007-01-29 02:50:09 · answer #5 · answered by laura h 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
of course it will get complicated, but if you care for him then you can try and make it work. What you need to think more about however is this child. Will you be able to be around the baby without having any animosity. Think about if the child eventually gets attached to you and then you dump your boyfriend because you can;t handle it. In a situation such as this, the baby must always come first, and you need to figure out if you can either handle playing second to the baby, or if you want a boyfriend who will put his child second, because any father or mother that does that...is not a parent at all.
2007-01-29 02:51:10 · answer #6 · answered by ? 6 · 1⤊ 3⤋
If you love him you will respect his choice!! No one is asking you to be the child's mother but you do need to realize that you will be helping care for that child!! Maybe to help calm you down and let him know your willing to support him you two and discuss what the baby will call you or know you by!! That's what we did with my step daughter even though she was 3 when me and my husband met! she calls me lee-lee short for Lisa and that's her own special name and she is the only one who calls me that!! You never know this could be the best thing that could happen to you! kids are a blessing!!
2007-01-29 02:51:37 · answer #7 · answered by Lisa Q 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First off, why is his ex 5-6 pregnant. Was he messing around with her while she was with you? First make sure of this. And you need to know that once he has this kid, things will not be the same between you and him. He will dedicate his whole time to the kid and his job to support the kid..
2007-01-29 03:08:58 · answer #8 · answered by gurl20073 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
That baby is part of the man you love. Why don't you show your boyfriend how much love you have in your heart for him by being supportive and helping him with his baby. Nothing in this world would make him happier than to see the woman he loves being sweet and helping him learn how to care for this baby. The ex-girlfriend is just that.. and EX-girlfriend. Keep her that way, by digging your heals in even deeper, and making this man love you more by accepting and even loving his child. What do you have to lose? Nothing. What do you have to gain? More love and respect.
2007-01-29 03:04:39 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
If they decided to keep their baby he's going to have to get a job and be working all the time in order to help provide for that baby. He's going to be more focused on his schooling, work, and taking care of his kid than he will be of you. You should break up with him and find someone who doesn't have kids to date. It's not the end of the world if you break up with him.
2007-01-29 03:36:41 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋