What to do when your Girlfriend and Daughter from 1st marriage can't coexist?

Question

Girlfriend complains about everything my daughters does, my daughter is no angel but she is no devil either, she is the typical 13 y/o.

Daugher is not going anywhere!!!!!

Answer 1

Your gf sounds immature and selfish. If she cared for you, she would know how much your daughter means to you. I am a step mom, and my step kids are part of my husband. I get annoyed at times, but they are his, and I know that to have a happy marriage, they come first. I also have kids of my own who are grown now, and on their own. So I understand kids.

Answer 2

We had problems like that in the begininng but I live with my fiance and his daughter she is 12. It is a hard thing to deal with but you daughter does come first. But also you need to make sure that the daughter isn't trying to undermine you and just is being selfish at 13 she is old enough to understand that you need a life to. Did you give your gf permission to punish and such things. Good luck and God bless- if after talking to your daughter and your girlfriend they can't work it out i would reconsider your relationship.

Answer 3

you should be considering your daughter first . Remember though that your daughter could be doing things to undermine your girlfriend too though. You need to sit them both down and tell them that they are making things very difficult for you and if there cannot be some understanding between all of you then some changes will have to be made and that you cannot co-exsist as a family . good luck .

Answer 4

girlfriend need to stop complaining and stand on her own 2 feet and realize that your daughter was in your life way long before she was.the g/f sounds jealous of your daughter.she needs to grow up.
you have a life to live,but if your daughter and g/f don't get along ,you might want to keep them apart and find out if the g/f is worth it.kids have a hard time dealing with parents not being with each other,and then some one new steps in and yea they going to be problems,but you need to open your eyes and see what that problem is.
spend time with your daughter and find out what her thinking is .
have you tried sitting them both down and talking to see what is going on?

Answer 5

As far as your daughter is concerned your gf is the" Other Woman". Would you expect your X wife to have tolerated another woman to come live with you? Your gf needs to back off. It is not her business, how to raise your daughter. If she wants peace in the family she needs to let you take care of dicipline, and any other matters concerning your daughter. You can not expect your daughter to automatically accept this new situation. She needs to know she has not lost her dad, and she needs to heal from the fact that her family has been shattered. She may never be happy with you and your new mate. but you must continue to give her the attention she deserves and needs. do things with her only. Talk with her and tell her how much you love her and you will never desert her like you did her mom. Her needs should come first, and your gf is going to have to accept that fact. Your daughters perception of all men is going to be mirrored by you. You better set a good example of how men behave.

Answer 6

tell your girlfriend to back off. It isnt her place to boss your daughter around . Your daughter is always going to be in your life, and until you and your girlfriend get married, she is not permanant. If your gf cant take the heat from your daughter now what will she do if you ever get married.

Answer 7

Unless you are planning to marry this gf in the near future do not have this gf around when you have your daughter. Hopefully you are not shacked up with this new honey. Did you really think being divorced was going to be easy? It only adds more problems.

Answer 8

It's tough one. My brother went through that. He married the girlfriend and it was a disaster. I don't think they lasted two years.

Be careful you don't give the daughter the power to run off every girlfriend you have because she can.

But, bottom line, I stick with my kids to the bitter end.

Answer 9

Sry. Girlfriend's got to go. Your daughter doesn't need that kind of treatment and you don't need the grief. Kick her to the curb and be glad you did it. It doesn't get better from here. Trust yourself on this one and do the right thing for your daughter. Best of luck!

Answer 10

Your daughter comes first, always. If your girlfriend can't accept that, then I'm afraid that she has to go. My dad remarried, and me and his wife can't stand one another. But, if it ever comes down to it, if he had to make the choice he'd chose me over her. If she complains now, just imagine what she'll do when your married and she has more control of things.