im missing school cause i cant stop crying STILL! how can i stop. im so depressed. boyfriend...?

Question

my bf and i are both sophmores inc ollege and have been dating for over 2 years. A few days ago we both decided to take a break to focus on school. and he has been under alot of stress (he has alot of units and works over 40 hours a week) well he sat in my work last ngiht doing nothign for over 2 1/2 hours... to tell me its oaver. befroe that we were both happy abotu the break. and he told me there would be a good chance of gettign bcak togheter. (he always keeps to his words) he always joked abotu how he wanted to be single for the rest of his life...i wanted to marry him and he wante to marry me.. (used to i guess) but he told me its over between us. he was the only person who i trusted. i dont have any friends and im not close with family. now im all alone. we were eachothers first love and first everything. he says hes going to try to stop loving me. is that possible? when we were eachothers first love. i texted him last night and asked if he loved me and he said.

"i did up until i broke up with you and now im trying to stop cause we're not together" i told him no matter how hard he tries he wont stop loving me. noone can ever not love the first love... that in my mind is the most special of all... and now its gone. i just always looked foreward to him calling me. i miss being in his arms.. now its all gone. i cant stop crying and i just feel liek falling asleep and never waking up. i tried to do everything for him and now its all gone.. i dotn have anyone to talk to .... im just so depressed... ='[ i dotn know what to do

is it possible to STOP loving someone as he says he wants to stop loving me. even though we were eachothers first love.. ?


how can i stop crying and feel better abotu things..

i just feel so broken and lost without him in my life anymore..


and please dont say anythign about thre being another woman... im positive that there isnt so dotn even mention that....

also how can i NOT have dreams abotu him. i aldready had a dream about him last night.. when my old best friend and i "broek up" i had dreams abotu her for 6 months straight.. i dont want that with him. it will only be torture.. how can i NOt have dreams abotu him.... as it would make me more depressed

we were on a break. but he just made it permanent last night and that we werent gettign back together.. after the semester but "maybe 10 or 20 years if i dont hate him" thats what he said.. he sad he flet liek he had to love me and that he couldnt leave me cause hes afraid id stop going to school or hurt myself..

Answer 1

No man is worth this sweetie. You have your future to look forward to, don't let him mess it up. Be independant.

Answer 2

I agree with Blunt. Perhaps you shouldn't solicit advice if you really don't want to hear what people have to say.

Maybe you are too clingy. That could be the reason the man wants some space. If you really loved him, you would respect that and leave him be. You said he has a lot on his plate, and right now you may just bee too much of a distraction for him.

Nothing lasts forever, and just because you two were first with eachother offers no guarantee that you will be together forever. Being in school and away from family puts enough strain on anyone without having to work, juggle grades and class, and have a girlfriend. Give the man some room, and on your down time, maybe you should concentrate on your schoolwork and give the man the space he is asking you for.
I understand where you are comming from, but fortunately I married my hishschool sweetheart, but everybody can't be as lucky. You are very young, and you shouldn't let one relationship/breakup define your life. Be your own person for yourself, and then you can be a better persopn for him (if he comes around), or the next man.
Good Luck.

Answer 3

I'm very sorry you're going through this.

The very best thing you could do for yourself right now is to go and make an appointment with the counselor at school. You need someone to talk to and to cry to, while the initial shock of all of this is still fresh. Also, there are suicide hot lines where you can call and talk to someone at any time of the day or night.

You can't make someone love you or appreciate you. And to be honest, the more you call him and beg him to reconsider, the more he will pull away. If he wants to go, LET HIM GO. If it isn't really over, he'll come back again and you can decide if you still want him. But begging never makes anyone love you, and honestly, makes them wonder why they were ever into someone who was so weak. Keep busy, clean your room, watch movies, go dancing. Anything to keep you away from lying on your bed crying. This will pass.

And by the way, he was your FIRST love. Not your last. :) I promise it'll get better with time.

Good luck.

Answer 4

First off, I am so sorry to hear that anyone is suffering so much emotional pain.
This type of thing is never easy, and what you are feeling is normal.
It sounds like your boyfriend has so much on his plate right now that he has gone on to overload. He knows he needs to finish school and he knows he needs to work to earn a living, so these are things that he is not going to compromise on. - In his mind right now though, he probably doesn't think he needs a girlfriend.
As hard as this is for you, I would offer this advise.
Leave him alone for a while. Give him the break he is asking you for. See if you can talk to him about a possible date night once every other week or so. - -
You need to pick yourself up and dust yourself off and carry on with life as you know it, without him in your everyday.
When he is ready to pick this relationship back up, he is going to need you to be there and not be an emotional basket case.
Does this make sense to you?
I am certain that if you ask around you will find some support groups there on campus.
If you are worried about crying all of the time, I would suggest to you trying Valerian Root, it's all natural and does nothing more than calm your nerves. There is also Saint John's Wart, it does the same thing. Neither will hurt you and they are not addictive.
God Bless you, you will be ok, I promise.

Answer 5

When i was a sophomore in college like you I used be so depressed when a guy would break up with me. Now that i am older I see that I am a beautiful young lady and intelligent. I can see that just because a relationship is over doesn't mean your life is. Besides, you may meet someone better than your ex I know I did now I am with a man that is crazy about me and I feel the same way. We have been together for 4yrs and counting. But you have to keep your individuality no matter what in a relationship don't base your life on him. Finish school never ever give that up for a man you will regret it.

Answer 6

Changing schools or "starting a new life" won't change any of your problems. I changed schools for the same reason and it seemed great at first, but it wasn't long before I was treated the same way I was at the other school. The change you need to make is within yourself. Find something productive that you're passionate in like studying hard or playing an instrument and put all of your negative energy into that. They say that the best revenge is success and when people see that you respect yourself enough to follow your goals they will start respecting you too. Chin up, it gets better!

Answer 7

Breaking up with a first love is very hard. You need to remember that you have a whole life ahead of you and a lot of people to meet in the future. It sounds to me like the 2 of you just needed a break because of all the stress you 2 are under....especially him studying and trying to work full time. Try to throw yourself into your studies and focus on yourself for awhile. It's important that at some point you learn to love yourself and be your own best friend. This is only one of many things you will have to cope with as a young adult. If the 2 of you are meant to be together, nothing will keep you apart. Do some nice things for yourself in the meantime and focus on your needs and your life. You will get through this.....I promise.

Answer 8

He wants to move on, see what's out there. You need to dry your eyes, get cleaned up and go for a walk. Try thinking about this situation with your mind and not your heart. It's a new beginning for you, the relationship was great while it lasted, but it's time for you to move on. He will always have a special place in your heart, but that's it. It wasn't meant to be. One day you will have a husband and a family, and he will be a memory. For now take everything one step at a time. Join a club or a group to make friends, do things that you enjoy doing. Time doesn't stop for anyone, go to school. You have the strength to do this.

Answer 9

The first breakup is always the hardest. But sometimes you can't stop crying on your own. Most likely your school offers some sort of counseling. I suggest you give them a call and set up an appointment. Once you start talking to a professional, you'll start to feel better.

I was in a similar situation when I was your age. I broke up with my 1st girlfriend, was away at college and was not close with family and had no friends around. I got through it. You will too. It gets better - trust me.

Answer 10

Get a grip----with yourself-----You sound to me that you were co-dependant on this person and maybe after the 2 years of dating etc. Your former BF may have felt smothered by your neediness.

You really need to get some counseling and also see a Dr. for the depression. You're basking in your own pity party right now of the woe is me poor me.

Count yourself lucky that this relationship is over---better to have it end this way then to have married this person and have him decide after the I do's at the alter that you were not the one for him.

Think twice before sharing your body with anyone outside of marriage. You stated he was your first LOVE and I am assuming your relationship was also a sexual one. I have re read what you wrote and you stated "I wanted to marry him". The key word in that sentence is I. You based your relationship alot on the word "I". Relationships are based on WE. I find that you're relationship was basically one sided and selfish.

Pull yourself up by those boot straps ====focus on your schooling and education. Get medical intervention and counseling for your depression and start focusing on LIFE in general.

Join a church group (if you're inclined), clubs at school, and places that you can meet a new set of friends and create a support system with these friends.

To have friends you must be one. Start communicating with your family, your MOM/DAD etc.

You state you're all alone.....(poor me again) You have choices and it's up to you and only YOU to make those choices possible.

Answer 11

He doesn't love you. Some day a man will come along and love you as he has never loved anyone before. Now is the time to focus on you, my friend. Follow your dreams. Don't get sucked into the ugly downward spiral. Find strength that you had no idea you had. It's there, I promise you. Embrace it. You are worth so much more. And if possible, get back in touch with the family.

peace