it seems he is very particular about what "type" of size/shape he likes. i feel that my body does not fit his idea of perfection. i told him that his behaviour upsets me and he said i'm making his life difficult. he doesn't like having to watch what he says all the time, and that i shouldn't be so sensitive. he does not understand why i am taking his comments so personally. and my body image is not his problem and that i should go to the gym if i feel uncomfortable with the way i look. he has NEVER directly said anything derogatory about MY body however. do you think i am reading too much into the situation? am i being silly and taking it personally?
2007-01-29 01:06:56 · 18 answers · asked by jay Lo 1 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
I don't know, hun. Maybe you're just angry that he was looking at some other woman's butt. I'd be kinda angry if my boyfriend did that, lol. I'd tell him that he shouldn't bring people down because of their appearances, or else that lady with the "big fat butt" might come over and fxcking sit on him. You're NOT being silly, he's just being a jerk.
2007-01-29 01:16:36 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 3⤋
Most people do not like to hear whining and complaining all the time. My husband's family criticizes other people all the time. I told them that I don't like to hear it all the time. If you can't say anything nice don't say anything at all. The criticism dropped significantly to a point where it isn't annoying.
I would tell your boyfriend that if he respects you, he'd some complaining about the shape of other women's bodies. Is he desire to "watch what he says" more important than his relationship with you?
Do not feel pressured to go to a gym or do anything to your body. If you are healthy and within normal weight for your age group, then who cares what other people think?
2007-01-29 14:24:45 · answer #2 · answered by Christina 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
He sounds very insensitive towards your feelings. I'm sure he wouldn't like it if you were constantly talking about your idea of the perfect male body non-stop. Maybe if he could see it the other way round, he might understand.
Otherwise, I think this is a wake up call as to the type of person you are with. Do you want to be a with a guy that doesn't care about your emotions or a guy that respects your thoughts and feelings?
Take care : )
2007-01-30 15:17:34 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋
Ok, I have a question for you. How often does he tell you that you're beautiful? How often does he tell you he loves you? Does he say he likes your body? Yes, your body image is his problem, because he is feeding off your low self esteem. A man should never tell you to go to the gym, he should say he loves you just the way you are. If you are unhappy, then perhaps you need to move on.
2007-01-29 09:12:54 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 5⤊ 0⤋
Oh, no, you are not taking it to personally. Listen to me - the problem lies with him. It would bother me too to hear my boyfriend criticizing women's bodies constantly, not only because I would then also wonder what he thought of mine, but more generally, it would be apparent that appearances are all he cares about.
What about personality? This guy sounds like someone who judges people instantly and on their looks only. Very shallow, and hypocritical, unless he looks like Brad Pitt (which I doubt).
No wonder this bothers you!
You do NOT have to go to the gym to please him. You do NOT have to change the way you look to please him.
You do NOT have to put up with this - if I were you, I'd give him an ultimatum: I'd tell him to keep his comments to himself, start being more positive to people in general, and more sensitive to me in particular, and if he didn't, I'd leave him. And when he didn't, I would.
2007-01-29 09:19:52 · answer #5 · answered by somebody 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
What a shallow git. Move on, girl. This one needs a fine dose of reality right between the eyes before he can possibly be "keeper" material.
I bet he's got a little itty bitty peenie - and takes his frustration with his own inadequacy out on other people.
2007-01-29 09:17:25 · answer #6 · answered by sewmouse 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Back up the Disrespect Bus! You need to check out why he's your Boyfriend. It seems that you may wanna be invovled with someone that shows some Class. And he ain't it. He certainly ain't the best you can be with. Step up. Join the ones that respect themselves. Love real Life
2007-01-29 09:15:23 · answer #7 · answered by Goggles 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Just try to ignore them, his comments are actually just filler material because he has nothing else to say at that moment.
His remarks will get him in trouble one day when he says them too loudly...sound does carry a long way sometimes. I was in a building one time where I could barely hear my friend because the conversation from across the building was too loud...I could hear every word, oddly they could hear us too and we were not talking loud.
2007-01-29 09:28:56 · answer #8 · answered by fuzzbutt 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
How do you feel about HIS body? Why don't you join him in his little game? I bet it would wake him up if you started dropping little offhanded comments into the conversation like "Hey, that guy there has one sweet butt.", or "Wow, look at the biceps on that guy.".
2007-01-29 09:19:25 · answer #9 · answered by mattzcoz 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Oh an easy answer this week.. OK.. thats easy.. it annoys YOU because you think maybe YOUR butt is to big, and maybe he thinks so too..
Sooooo is yer but too big.. we all wanna know now? And yeah you know if it is or not.. dont lie to us OK? (I'm guessing yer butts to big.. and thats why it annoys you.. cuz you already know)
AND OH hell yeah yer body image is HIS problem.. hes yer BF right?? he has to be seen with you.. Its his problem too.. just like if he was a 300 LB a slob.. wouldnt that be YER problem? You bet yer *** it would be..
2007-01-29 09:17:28 · answer #10 · answered by darchangel_3 5 · 1⤊ 3⤋