My boyfriend and I have been together for a year and one month. He is 35 and I am 20. I am now 4 1/2 months pregnant with our first child. He is very excited about the baby.
Last August, he cheated on me with his ex-wife. (of whom he has 3 other children with.) Although he did not want to, I begged him to tell me exactly what happend, every detail of it. He always tells me how much he loves me, always there for me, and that it was a big mistake.
This was the first time he has ever been unfaithful to someone. On the first week that it happend, he would always cry and ask for me not to leave him. I love him too much to, but my self-esteem is low, I have no trust for ANYONE, and my emotions are a rollercoaster. (also before I was pregnant.) I still feel betrayed and broken down no matter how much he tells me that he loves me and how beautiful I am to him.
We both want to repair this and live our lives together, but how do I move forward without holding a grudge?
2007-01-29 00:43:57 · 7 answers · asked by bella_honeylove 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I personally don't think you can EVER "repair" the damage that has been done to your relationship, but that's not to say you can't go on and live a somewhat "normal" life. In the back of your mind, IT will always be there. Once trust is broken, it can never be restored, or repaired. He cheated once, he'll do it again....under the "right" circumstances.
2007-01-29 00:55:17 · answer #1 · answered by olderbutwiser 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Trust is everything in a relationship/marriage if you do not have trust then you have nothing.You need to ask yourself do you really trust him and if the answer is no then you are wasting your time eith him because it will never work.Ofcourse you feel betrayed cheating is the worst form of betrayel and disrespect that you can do to someone.There is no reason,excuse or justification for cheating and ofcourse he is going to tell you what a huge mistake it was but let me tell you cheating is no mistake(spilling a glass of milk is a mistake)but cheating is done intentially.The fact that your boyfriend cheated on you shows that he does not truely love you and if he cheated once he will do it again and again.So many woman give in to the cheaters sob stories and take them back and when they do that all they are doing is giving the ok for them to cheat again and again because they know they can get away with it.I am speaking from experience.The fact that he would cheat on you while you are pregnant say's a lot about him.You will never be able to forget about what he did and if you try and stay with him it will alway's be in the back of your mind and that is no way to be in a relationship.You will alway's hold s grudge.Don't stay with him just because you are having a baby with him that is the worst mistake that parents make is staying together because they have kid's together.Like i said you need to ask yourself do you trust him and then you need to make your decision.Good luck to you.You deserve better.
2007-01-29 09:33:02 · answer #2 · answered by Maureen B 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I understand what your sayin- In my experience all I can say is- TRY! If you love him try to make things work for your child. I dont think you will ever be able to just forget what he done or why he did it. That will always be on your mind, take each day as a new tomorrow and maybe the past wont seem so bad. Remember also, he is with you- not them! that's what I have to do - Good Luck
2007-01-29 09:05:14 · answer #3 · answered by stephanie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think forgiving someone is the toughest -- but most beneficial thing to do.
You do it for you, so that you don't have to lug around all that baggage. Doesn't mean you forgive the act-- but that you know that he's human.
Holding on to this stuff is like taking poison and hoping he gets sick.
Also-- please get into couple's counseling. It's very helpful.
good luck.
2007-01-29 09:04:13 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Time will fix the grudge. You are over-anxious because of those raging pregnancy hormones right now.
2007-01-29 08:58:46 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Seek help and counseling for you and for your relationship... It will take time for you to heal and get over the pain of this before you can even start to forgive....
2007-01-29 10:05:17 · answer #6 · answered by Lady Hewitt 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just let it go and move on...you have much bigger fish to fry now...you will soon have a baby that needs a happy and healthy mom and dad......forgive him...chances are you will never totally forget but let it go and try to be happy together.....good luck
2007-01-29 08:50:05 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋