The baby is 6 months old now, I haven't seen the father at all since I told him, he broke up with me and never talked to me again, he just ignored me, and I find out he has a new girlfriend, but I don't think he was cheating on me, he knows the kids his and I found out he told his girlfriend and friends that it wasn't his hes trying to avoid the situation every way possible, he wants nothing to do with it. I really need help with my baby and it's not fair, sometimes I think I just shouldn't bother, but I hate how he's getting away with it, well he is a pothead, and he is only 17 but that is my babys father and I don't want my kid growing up without one. he said he didn't want his parents finding out, i don't want to tell them either because i'm scared they'll try to get visitation, I don't trust them, I don't want my baby away from me, and what if they don't care? He changed his number from me but I have his address and house phone, so please help me on what to do.
2007-01-28 22:38:36 · 15 answers · asked by lexy 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Newborn & Baby
I'm 19, and he knows it's his, he was just scared and that's what he told me. after i found out he told his girlfriend i cheated on him and it wasn't his (which is a lie i would never do something like that) i told him i'd give him a paternity test, it will just prove everyone stupid except him, plus she seen pictures of the baby, i know there are girls who swear that they know who the baby's father is and it really isn't but believe me or don't, but the baby looks EXACTLY like him, except his nose of course he has a baby nose haha. i'm just scared that the parents will take me to court, but I will let them see the baby whenever ever they want as long as i'm there, plus I breastfeed.
2007-01-28 23:13:40 · update #1
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2007-01-28 23:14:59 · update #2
Unfortunately you cannot force your ex to have a relationship with the baby. You can however force him to pay maintenance (if he's working that is). Contact social services/centrelink or whatever it is called where you are & ask them how to register him officially as the child's father so he has some financial responsibility for his child. I think i would tell his parents as i doubt they would spend their life earnings in a high court to get access to this child if you won't allow it - that's the reality. Anyway try & move on & spare yourself the anger - it's too painful to deal with day after day. Can you get access to counselling or support services? I'd say you should speak with your child/family nurse/midwife to see what you can get. Also see your GP as you could be suffering with some post natal depression as you sound very down. Best of luck sweetie - you'll look back in a couple of years & thank the heavens that your ex is not dragging you down anymore.
2007-01-28 22:54:56 · answer #1 · answered by Mishell 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
To be honest you don't need a man in your life like this, let alone be the father of your baby cause to be honest men like this aren't worth it let alone be a responsible parent. You say he wasn't cheating on you cause he was ,cause if he want to be with you he would be still with you.And yes it takes two to tango and make a baby and what, he thinks by having unsafe sex that you won't get pregnant ,what earth is he on.Why should it be up to the women to take all the percausions. Really i think you are better offr without him and so is your child. You need all the money you can and having him in your and your baby's life is not good because he's not worried about you and your baby all he's worried about is where he is getting his next smoke from.Just don't wo9rry about him just worry about bringing up your baby and believe me i know it's hard but it gets easier and you will find someone who will love you and your baby. I was a single mother of twins and i was with my ex for 16yrs and i thought who will love4 me and my kids but you no i found that special someone. My twins are only 6 years of age and i have been with my husband for 4 years now. They were only 1/2 when i meet him and we3 have been married for 2yrs now and we have a beautiful 10mth old and he loves them all as his own.So there will be someone4 who will love you and your baby don't let any man or anyone come between a mother and a child because the child always come first before anyone else. Men come and go as they please cause they can just up and go and move on with their lives. Sorry i'm going on abit but i have been through all of this and as far as his parents don't worry let them take you to court they always try and get the parents back together but sometimes not the case the best intrest is the child so don't let them try to get you to do anythink you don't want for your child.And children that grow up with only one parent don't have any more problems than a child with two parents .You are the childs mum ,and stuff the father if he doesn't care. He doesn't deserve to be a dad.Yeah it's hard being a parent it's not easy you might be going through a rough patch but it gets easier it does aqnd you will be a good mum you just need to put everything into being the best mum you can and he/she will love you no matter what hope i was some help. Concerned If you need to talk you can contact me at tania_farrawell@yahoo.com.au hope i was help to you. Good luck
2007-01-29 00:28:36 · answer #2 · answered by blue eyes 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should forget about your baby's father and get on with raising your baby. You didn't have a single positive thing to say about him or his family so let's face it, the guy is a sperm donor. Your child will be far happier being brought up by one loving parent than it would be surrounded by animosity with a father who has been forced into the situation.
I was a single parent but have now found a loving man who is everything that I want in a partner and a father for my children. You should never settle for second best!
2007-01-28 22:46:56 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
First things first. You can't make a person be apart of a child's life... but you can have them help financially. It's called a court order. If you don't want to go to court, and if he's listed on the birth certificate, in some places you can go straight to the CSEA (Child Support Enforcement Agency) and get some child support from him.
If he doesn't want to be apart of the childs life, then I wouldn't want him part of my kids life. Negative energy, he's the one missing out. Would you want someone who hates you and your child to play house for a few days, leave, play house, and resent it? I wouldn't.
As for the parents, I think you should tell them. They might want to help you out, you don't have to leave your child with them, or be seperated from your kid when they want to see them... they will only get "visitation" if they go to court for it, and that even takes time anyway... but it's better to stop by every once in a while, because a child needs all the love it can get, and if the father doesn't want to provide some, maybe the baby's grandparents will.
2007-01-28 22:57:04 · answer #4 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe he si doing cause he is afraid the parents wont pay for his college/university fees if he has a child. Tell your parents and let them talk to your boyfraineds parents. You both have responsibility over that child it is not yours only he also took part. It takes two to tango as much as it takes two to make a baby. Take partenity tests if he denies taht the baby is his. You know that you were involved with him so take him on let him take responsibility. Stop thinking about what he told you and think too much of the baby. He has the to know his father. Good luck!!
2007-01-28 23:19:10 · answer #5 · answered by MEMSA 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Move on, realize that you can't control his action and he is the one who's making the mistake, not you. Don't put your life on hold for any body and all you have to worry about is to do every thing that a good mother does and don't seek relationships just to fill in the father aspect. Don't give the impression to him that you are vulnerable of the fact of wanting a father for the baby, he could use that to his advantage. Be strong emotionally and know that you will become stronger when it's over. BE A MOM YOU WOULD LOVE TO BE.
2007-01-28 23:01:17 · answer #6 · answered by sm1ley_jd 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know exactly how you feel. The same thing happened to me with my 3 children and their father. Fathers like that don't deserve to see their children anyway. Who wants a father that denies them? He still needs to pay for the baby, though. There is too much help out there for single moms to have to put up with men (boys) like that. As far as the grandparents go; tell them. They might suprise you and be able to do something to help the situation. Just be honest with how you feel about everything. Get your parents to help you out if that's possible. Being a mother or a single mother takes alot of strength in every way. Be strong for your baby. Your baby needs you to stand up for it and always do what's in his/her's best interest. Good luck.
2007-01-28 22:52:05 · answer #7 · answered by mother of 4 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
well its obvious!! if u dont want ur baby away from him just ignore him and move on with your life, u can be more than just a mum to your baby, you dont need a the father especially if his only 17, he cant support u or your baby! i was 19 when i had my son and luckily im still with the father but im guessing your still young and you can alwayz find someone else, his obviously a low life so why even bother about him? you will just be making more drama for u and ur baby if u contact him!! its his loss if he doesnt wanna be in ur babys life and why should he if his that much of a jerk? if u ever need to talk add me on myspace, http://www.myspace.com/tara_dz
goodluck. Tara.
2007-01-28 22:46:16 · answer #8 · answered by da_only_tripper 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hie
He might have nothing to do with the baby at the moment, but in future (believe me) he will come round claiming its his baby. What i feel is go to his parents, be honest to them and tell them you want them to know that their son has a baby with you. You tell them you need help and see how they react. Being a mother is stressful at times, its more of a challenge. You feel hurt, pain and cry but at the same time you want to hide once your baby asks what mommie is crying. Stand up for your baby, dont lose hope, at the end of the day it will be you winning the battle. Once you look into your baby's eyes and see her smile, it will be the only person that matters to you. You are in my prayers
2007-01-29 01:31:55 · answer #9 · answered by Cecilia D 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know its hard being a single parent but the way the father of your child is treating you doesnt deserve anything with you.He cant help you either so what for?He doesnt want you to tell his parents too,afraid he will get scolded.He is not man enough to face his responsilbility.If you can do it alone,try to.If you cant,i think you needed help from a lawyer and consult you situation so you can get support from your bf.
2007-01-29 00:36:27 · answer #10 · answered by becauseofyou a 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋