I work in healthcare and I am a lesbian. I have told everyone at work that I have a female partner and pretty much everyone is nice to me, but I know people gossip. I also know that some people are involved in religions that condemn homosexuality. I notice that thse particular people are cold or distant from me. Should I keep quiet about it in future jobs to keep myself safe?
2007-01-28 22:38:09 · 17 answers · asked by carmella 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
your sexuality is your own business. when u decide to tell people about it do it at your own peril. gossip is normal and many a times it hurts no one. as long as it does not affect your career, why woulld u care what the SOBs say?
Live life and shut the crap from these people. joke it up by telling them you are looking for a partner and you think they fit and you are falling in love with them.
2007-01-28 22:48:48 · answer #1 · answered by Elcie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I recently started a new office job, and like most office jobs everyone wants to gossip and know everyone else's business. One of the questions I get most is "do you have a boyfriend?". I don't ever lie about weather I do or not; I just simply answer the question. No, I don't have a boyfriend.
"Why not?"
That just doesn't fit my lifestyle at this time.
I am always very vague, and whatever they get from it they get. I neither confirm or deny anything. I merely like to pacify them. What if they ask if you are gay? I have never been asked out right if I am a lesbian, but I do know that it is considered sexual harassment to ask someone that question. I think if someone asked me that I would probabably ask them why it would benefit them to know my personal life and then just respond from there.
2007-01-29 03:03:04 · answer #2 · answered by Wednesday 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It really depends on what you are comfortable with. People always say "it could affect your career" but being of a sexuality that is "out of the norm" affects your daily life. You are going to run into people often who disagree with your lifestyle. Personally I am open to a few of my close co-workers who I know I can trust, but to the whole plant (I work in a production plant), I would never openly admit that I was gay unless asked, in which I would promptly tell them my personal life is none of their business.
However, at school (I'm in college) I am open to everybody because my peers are of a generation that is very open-minded. However, I learned that there is a time and a place for everything, as long as you "dont wear your sexuality on your sleeve" you should be fine.
2007-01-28 22:47:09 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If someone asks you "Do you have a boyfriend?, they are opening up a dialogue to become more personal at work. I always respond with, "No, i have a wife." If they are offended, they aren't someone I would have wanted to be friends with anyway. I don't think it's appropriate to go into graphic detail about your relationship, but I don't find that appropriate from straight people, either. But if other people say "Oh, my husband, blah, blah blah" or "My boyfriend and I saw a movie last weekend" why shouldn't you be allowed to say "My partner and I blah blah blah" It's the same thing.
2007-01-29 00:09:31 · answer #4 · answered by Beth B 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should never have to hide who you are! Unfortunately people use it against you. I see it like this. Just as they don't go around telling us that they are heterosexual, we shouldn't go around telling them that we are homosexual. If they ask about our partner, let them know, but if not then don't ask. Let them assume, we know what happens when people do that. Where I work, I have to keep a secret. . Even when they ask, which they cant.... Anyways. . . Don't keep it a secret, but only tell if they ask. . Other wise its none of their business... Good Luck!
2007-01-29 01:30:13 · answer #5 · answered by sweet_treat101 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree that it only as much their business as you choose for it to be, but I find it isolating to not be able to join in my coworkers conversations of what they did over the weekend, excitement over my upcoming move-in with my boif... etc... but, it's how I've chosen to live I guess... The field work in is surprisingly understanding juxtapose with being very discriminatory as well.
2007-01-28 23:07:37 · answer #6 · answered by tomi27410 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The question arises, would you really want to be anything more than another co-worker to those that would judge you for being a lesbian? "Safe" is a very relative term. Personally I find it is far better to be "out" and be yourself than it is to worry about those who are hateful and bigoted against you for being yourself.
2007-01-28 22:53:14 · answer #7 · answered by IndyT- For Da Ben Dan 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Since coming out of the closet, my lifestyle as changed. I am no longer hiding. I have told my friends and boss at the office and they have accepted me for who I am. Good Luck!
2007-01-29 02:40:45 · answer #8 · answered by beachguy_41 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you feel the need, but I truely suggest that if someone says something to you about your sexuality and seems like they want to tell you about their personal lives share only certain details with them like about what you do with your family and so forth unless they have told you that they are gay and then you can tell them but make sure that if you don't want everybody to know that you swear that person to secretcy.
2007-01-29 03:30:25 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Very Little
2007-01-28 22:41:18 · answer #10 · answered by mike_alegend 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋