Why Do People Think That Threesomes Are Dirty & Wrong?

Question

Would you not prefer to know who your partner is sleeping with So you can protect yourself against things?

Answer 1

People consider threesomes wrong because of a couple of reasons.

First, they have bought-in to the garbage about sex, love, and relationships that has been told to them by their priests, bishops, pastors, etc. The whole idea that "there is one way, and one way only to live your life and here it is." And of course those people were told by someone else in their past, and so on, and so on, and so on. They believe that their way is the only way to do things and everyone else's is wrong. It's a faux morality that eases their insecurities about themselves and their life by making them feel superior to others who don't think the way they do.

Second, as others have mentioned, jealousy. Jealousy is really just insecurity. Insecurity that someone else will be preferred over you for whatever reason, not always sex, but most often in the context we are talking about here. You hear the "they'll leave you for the other person", etc. Like their partner is so dumb that another person could trick them and steal them away because of sex. These people don't see or feel their worth to their partner. They think that if they don't "protect" their partner from contact with others than their partner will find someone better then they are are leave them. So they control their partners contact with others to protect their own insecurities. The idea of "if I don't micro-manage my partner's every minute of every day then they'll meet someone better then me and I won't have them anymore." It's their own insecurity about themselves not being good enough. It has nothing to really do with their partner thinking they are not good enough. If that was the case their partner wouldn't be with them in the first place.

My wife and I have been swingers for several years, and I'll tell you straight-out... I've seen her really enjoy sex with some other men. But would she leave me because this guy really gave it to her? No. It's not "better" sex. It's just different sex. That is what's fun about it.

The other person isn't me. It is fantasy and that is it. It's not real life. We know all each other's deepest, darkest secrets and we love each other anyway. Through thick and thin, sickness and in health, till death do us part... and even that's questionable if it would split us up. ;-)

Now, I guess if I was insecure and thought that my partner was so stupid that I have to protect her or someone else will lure her away with good sex, then I guess we couldn't do this (which really as you pointed out in your question would be 'protecting myself'). I guess I'd be like many of the other responses I see about swinging on Yahoo! Answers. Responses based on personal insecurities, fear, and biases. But I'm not. And my wife is definitely not stupid and no dick is going to make her leave me.

I just don't see why some can't say "It isn't something I could do" rather than make mean, faux moral judgments about those that live differently then they do. But then again, I'm not so insecure that I have to tear others down to make me believe I'm as good as they are.

Answer 2

It is all good as long as all parties are consensual. In a way you've answered your own question, we are brought up to consider that the norm is a couple (you've used the word partner). This proscriptive conditioning can make threesomes appear to be (at least) unconventional or, worse, "Dirty & Wrong". It can also serve to restrict our ability to cope (mentally & emotionally) with the dynamic of multiple concurrent partners.

One should ALWAYS protect oneself against things, you never know who your partner has slept with - before meeting you.

Answer 3

In certain cases threesomes can and do work and as long as they do not want to involve me then let them get on with it.
Your second sentence describes infidelity and not threesomes, cheating is wrong and can cause a lot of damage, emotionally and physically, if you are not happy with a partner then leave.

Answer 4

Some times it sounds dirty when you just heard about 2 guys or picking up some girl when shes drunk and they just go off and do it of what ever but me and my mates play around all the time and its a fun thing to do together... =)

Answer 5

The average person has been rasied to believe, that anything regarding promiscuity or more than one partner is morally wrong....which basically started in biblical days, before the days of the bible it wasnt frowned upon, quite as much, and yes to be quite honest if it came down to my partner wanting to sleep with somone else id like to know who it was too.

Answer 6

Dirty is not the right word, and what's wrong for some, it is perfectly right for others.

Answer 7

They are wrong
your partner should be sleeping with nobody else & neither should you.
Three is a crowd in relationships & too much emotions to deal with.

Yes, I did have a 3some once so dont think im lame, just experienced.

Answer 8

People are not okay with their sexuality. As long as you are comfortable and SAFE,then who cares how everyone else feels about what you are doing in your bedroom. I'm okay with it though.

Answer 9

no, usually its odd man out and someone gets hurt. your assuming people are basically unfaithful. some are but some arent. it depends on the person.

Answer 10

people have their feeling hurt and it,s a lack of trust.and it,s a mans fantasythen a girls.most of the time it,s two girls and one man. that,s not fun for a straight girl.