Ex-Officers should not 'hold on to their former Rank'.?

Question

I served 16 years in HM Forces. I have therefore,the greatest of respect for those who serve and have served, in campaigns throughout the World,irrespective of Rank.
However I believe that the day Officers leave the Forces is the day they stop being Major ----- (Retd),or Sqdn Ldr ----- (Retd) or Lt.Cdr -----(Retd). The only exception to this is if they are in the Reserve,and even then I think they should no longer hold their Rank after their period there has finished. My father was ex Sqdn Ldr and,often to his annoyance,I addressed my letters,Birthday Cards etc to him as 'Mr --------' after he left the RAF. Whenever he came to visit my wife and I when we lived in MQs he would, given half the chance, try to throw his weight around after having left the RAF years ago. It culminated with me saying to him:"If you ever try that again,you'll never ever come on this Station again while I'm here!"
I've no wish to offend, but this issue makes my blood boil! ..Anybody agree with me?

Answer 1

I kind of agree. I think it's OK for these Officers to use the title in official letters etc to show their background (I.E letters to government etc), but for general letters (birthday cards) and for social events, the rank should be forgotten.

I don't mean to be rude or offensive, but the Officers that are like your Father seem to be the sort of person that loves to boss people around and loved the fact he had power. The junior ranks never got on with him, I assume? He let the power go to his head and can't let go after retirement. He can no longer tell people what to do, and it scares him.

In my eyes, he's a Mr. If I saw him, there would be no need for me to salute him.

I don't understand why they can hold on to the rank after retirement, when an NCO is not allowed.

Answer 2

Yes i worked in MoD for years and agree. i worked with a number of Wgn Cmdr or Sqn Ldr Retd's some had RO posts but others were Civil Servants (HEOs or similar) and all bar one liked to retain the air of their rank in their positions and also in social events organised by work. How they behaved at home though I have no idea but I entirely agree with you. I think this is something that goes back to the times when a Kings commission was for life - a view shared by many in the military in those times.

Answer 3

My father never used his rank of Colonel when he was retired, (he claimed that in those days of the IRA it was best not to advertise) but we knew a lot of retired Majors. He always said anyone who only made the rank of major before retiring, had not really been very successful in their career.
He was also an inverted snob, and secretly enjoyed the fact that he did not use his rank, in a village that was full of pompous retired Majors, whom he hoped to wrankle by not using his superior rank!
To a certain extent I agree with you, but I don't think it is such a significant thing to actually get excited about one way or another

Answer 4

Sound like unresolved issued with your father, but I digress.
I think it's very appropriate to refer to anyone honorably retired from the military law enforcement or fire fighters as Major, Captain, etc.
It's the same with retired doctors. They are still Dr. "X" even if they have been retired for years.
I have seen people refer to doctors by first name. Unless one is a very close friends or family member, I think it just shows a sign of respect to address them by their title.

Answer 5

Some people hold on to their title because it makes them feel good about themselves. If a person uses this to try to throw their weight around , that is wrong. I think that you might be taking this a little too personally.

Answer 6

I don't. Some of those ranks take a lot of work and dedication and the title is an earned honorific. I know a lot of professional people with titles, i.e., doctors and such. A lot of them are worth a bucket of warm spit compared to a good military man.

Answer 7

these characters are living in the past. problem for them is that they once held power and control over people and its hard to contemplate just being an ordinary citizen power is like a drug to these individuals at the end of the day you can call your self mickie mouse if you want people just pity these creatures

Answer 8

It is only offensive if referred to by themselves. It is a symbol of respect when referred to by others.

Answer 9

So what you are really trying to say is , you could use yours but chose not too, how awfully noble of you.

Answer 10

I think you're a snob, and you're wasting time on a silly issue.