my husband keeps calling me mean names, like really mean ones, when I say anything to him about it such as 'i dont like that' he will just say what you dont like being called a .....? it has just led to a huge fight coz i tried to talk to him and explain why it hurt me and he just refused to listen and told me if i dont like it i know where the door is and just got really really defensive. It only seems to get this bad when he has been drinking, but now i have no idea what to do. Any suggestions?
2007-01-28 19:52:06 · 43 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
he is a guy, you cannot get him to understand...just say..oh that is nice or thank you when he does it also ask him if he would like it if someone said the same things to his mom or daughter........I just get smart asssed and say tings like OH nice english..or oh can't you do better than that...etc..
2007-01-28 19:57:12 · answer #1 · answered by sandra t 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Ive been married 26 years and my husband might of thought of calling me names but never has. To call a person abusive names is not a person who loves you. Drinking isnt making him call you those names. Thats in the man not the drink. Id leave a man that called me names and had no respect for me. When I was told to leave Id pack his stuff up and throw his drunk *** out the door. Alot of people think that abuse is when someone is hitting you well those words they mouth can be just has harmfull and even more hurtful than if he hit you. He doesnt care how you feel because, Girl he means the words he says. Dont ever let a man thats suppose to love you abuse you a man has no respect for a woman he can have. If that was my husband , I might wait till he went to bed then Id beat his *** with a baseball bat. All the while Id call him *****! God Bless You!
2016-03-15 01:42:05 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ive been married 26 years and my husband might of thought of calling me names but never has.
To call a person abusive names is not a person who loves you. Drinking isnt making him call you those names. Thats in the man not the drink.
Id leave a man that called me names and had no respect for me.
When I was told to leave Id pack his stuff up and throw his drunk *** out the door.
Alot of people think that abuse is when someone is hitting you well those words they mouth can be just has harmfull and even more hurtful than if he hit you.
He doesnt care how you feel because, Girl he means the words he says.
Dont ever let a man thats suppose to love you abuse you a man has no respect for a woman he can have.
If that was my husband , I might wait till he went to bed then Id beat his *** with a baseball bat. All the while Id call him *****! God Bless You!
2007-01-28 20:06:24 · answer #3 · answered by lovie12346 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have pin-pointed drinking as a problem with his behavior and it's pretty clear that he shouldn't drink. When he is sober I would discuss how he calls you names that you don't like when he drinks and give him the ultimatum..."if you don't stop drinking and calling me names, I know where the door is and although I love you I won't put up with it anymore". You need to see yourself as a person worthy of love, respect and a good man...it's pretty clear that you don't or you would have left him after he did it when you asked him not to. In that case, you need counseling to understand that you are worth more than this...he may be the sweetest man when sober but the fact is, he isn't always sober and if he can't remain sweet when he drinks he has a problem. Remember he is the problem, not you and you know where the door is and can use it!
2007-01-28 20:31:34 · answer #4 · answered by chrissy757 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you can leave your home and your child's if you have, for may be two days, and i assure you he will go crazy and do any thing to turn you back, this is No. 1 method tried and successful.
No. 2 you can talk to him with the same bad language, and this will lead to a big fight, but it will be the last time you hear mean names from him, this method i preferred
No.3 a forever solution for your problem, to make him stop drinking .
2007-01-28 20:02:30 · answer #5 · answered by mfk19752000 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it is obvious he has a serious problem. Ask him when he is sober if he is willing to go to counseling with you. If he declines you should go see one on your own.
These sort of problems do not fix themselves, do not aggravate the situation by being smart back as you risk a physical attack.
Do you know what could be causing him stress? more than likely work and he is taking it out on you
Until he learns to deal with his stress better it will only get worse for you.
You could also try a holiday together, chose something where alcohol is limited.
2007-01-28 20:04:17 · answer #6 · answered by sage 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your husband sounds like a bag of crap. I would insist on marriage counseling and if he won't go I would leave his abusive *** on the curb. Things he does under the influence of alcohol are still his responsibility, "I've been drinking" is not a free pass to act like a tool shed.
2007-01-28 20:00:30 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dear its time for you to be strong and trust in God and get out of this relationship while you still have a chance. You should try to find a local battered spouse program a local shelter or something cause its just going to get worse until he sees he has a problem the name will turn into hitting and who knows what else. Get out!
2007-01-28 19:58:49 · answer #8 · answered by msann 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would probably take the door. You might want to contact Alanon and go to a meeting or two. Perhaps some communication with people who deal with alcoholics can better help you with his drinking and treatment of you while he is drinking. I am not saying he is an alcoholic...he may not be, but this behavior needs to be stopped.
2007-01-28 20:00:18 · answer #9 · answered by kalea_kane 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How long have you been married? I would tell him to kiss my @ss and show him the door! Sounds like maybe he might have someone else and he is trying to have you leave so he can blame it on you. Tell him if "you don't treat me better and grow up, then get the hell out"! You deserve a loving husband!
2007-01-28 20:04:04 · answer #10 · answered by Nikkie M 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
contact AL ANON and visit regularly with people whom YOU CAN RELATE TO
and who can relate to YOU and your situation. You'll get some peace and some time to determine whether the relationship should continue and under
one roof or not, etc. you can determine MUCH by learning from them.
your husband is not yet WILLING to make a change, but NOW is the TIME FOR CHANGE TO TAKE PLACE -- so it's up to you to begin the changes.
2007-01-28 21:01:46 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋