I kinda broke off contact with my toxic friend about two weeks ago, she's now flipping out and accusing me of breaking the relationship over a dumb argument we had a long time ago.
I don't know what to say, she's basically belittling me again and she's back to her old ways of things, she's telling me she always thought of me as a little sister, and shes saying she's going to give me back all the stuff I gave her and she's basically throwing a pity-party for herself.
I don't want to get her worked up, because she can be very violent and nasty when she's upset... but I don't know what so say. I really don't want to be friends with her, she's manipulative and she causes me all kinds of stress which is horrible for my health...
what would you do in this situation?
2007-01-28 19:35:43 · 5 answers · asked by Rae-Rae Nikkoles <3 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
Edit: she's contacting me through a mutual friend we have.
2007-01-28 19:38:19 · update #1
Edit: I really need to know what I should say to her, I'm drawing a blank here. I really need her out of my life but I am going to miss the fun times we had together, she's not a person that would accept criticism, she always wants to start fights, and now she wants to return things I've given her (back to my house) I assume that's just so she can "talk" to me and put me down.. I think if she does that I'm just going to have my grandad tell her I'm not home.. idunno.
2007-01-28 19:44:24 · update #2
My friend is IMing me now, she's telling me all this herself, I don't want to have contact with her outside of the computer in any way... she just gets violent too easy and starts things. I don't want her to return things I gave her as gifts to my house, its just an excuse she's using so she can get inside... what can i do?
2007-01-28 19:54:06 · update #3
Cut her off completely...cold turkey. It's gonna be hard because she might try and make you feel guilty and you'll miss the good times. But if the bad times outweighed the good times and you feel that strongly about how she was affecting you, the best decision is to move on.
Also, you should let your mutual friend know that if they have any respect for you, they will understand your decision and will stop relaying messages from your old friend to you. If they don't stop, you might have to cut them off too.
You're old friend is hurt, and that is gonna come out as anger-but you can't be manipulated by it. You know what's best for you.
2007-01-28 19:55:24 · answer #1 · answered by obliviona 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She will do everything in her arsenal of manipulation to keep you locked in communication with her. You MUST stick to your guns and be consistent. Write her a nice goodbye letter, and send it through the mutual friend she is using. And then cut off all contact and move on, and hope she can do the same. Best of luck.
2007-01-28 19:43:40 · answer #2 · answered by Dorothy and Toto 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi
The only thing to do is to remain calm and try to interact with her as little as possible - don't explain your actions or get involved in a conversation - just walk on by. Always be polite and never say anything hurtful - that just drags you back in.
Good luck and be strong.
2007-01-28 19:45:55 · answer #3 · answered by lozatron 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let her throw the pity party. If this person is bad for your health, you need to stick to your guns and keep her out of your life. Eventually she will move on without you.
2007-01-28 19:40:45 · answer #4 · answered by kalea_kane 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The catalyst here is the mutual friend. You don't really know if everything the friend is telling you is true. You speak with the toxic friend yourself and tell her why you no longer want to be friends.
2007-01-28 19:52:11 · answer #5 · answered by rosey 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋